


Fighting Fear

by whimsicality



Category: Roswell (TV)
Genre: Alien Shenanigans, F/M, Gen, Love, Mystical Callings, POV Multiple, Reincarnation, Science Fiction, Time Manipulation, Violence, War, alternate season three, lots and lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2018-03-17 17:39:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 47,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3538277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicality/pseuds/whimsicality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tess’s betrayal and departure in the Granilith has irrevocably changed the lives of the Roswell teens – relationships will end and begin, loyalties will shift, and new paths will be discovered as they learn that Destiny is entirely subjective and that their lives still have many more surprises in store.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Omega_

It is amazing how quickly your perception of the worst that can happen, can change. How one fraction of a moment, one single decision, can alter your entire world. I’ve had more of those moments than most, beginning with the day that I died and the boy who brought me back to life, and continuing through love triangles, reincarnation, alternate futures, murder, betrayal, and a decades long war.

But none of those moments, or series of moments, no matter how painful or traumatic or heart breaking, none of them could compare to _this_ moment, to this destruction of everything I had ever known and everything I would ever know.

“Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat,” Malcolm S. Forbes said that, a businessman and politician who had only seen battle in the boardroom or the campaign trail. Perhaps that is why he failed to mention that defeat is hardest when you’ve known victory, and that defeat _caused_ by victory is the bitterest possible pill to swallow. I had tasted defeat before; in some ways the past three years had been a string of never-ending defeats with only the occasional victory to balance the other side of the scale. A scale now so far tipped it will never recover.

The moment of our greatest defeat, of the world’s greatest defeat, was preceded by a victory in which we decimated our enemy, leaving only two survivors of a force numbering in the hundreds despite numbering only six ourselves. It was sweet, a strike back against three years of frustration and impotence in which we finally took charge of our destinies, finally accepted who and what we were and what it meant for our lives.

We should have known better than to rejoice.


	2. Chapter 2

  


__

_Chapter One ~ Rebirth_

 

_Though you may hear me holler,_  
_And you may see me cry –_  
_I’ll be dogged, sweet baby,_  
_If you gonna see me die._  
_– Life is Fine, by Langston Hughes_

It was dark and cold. Her feet were touching something hard with sharp little bumps that hurt. She wanted to go back to before. Before it was warm and soft and she had floated in perfect peace, just on the edge of awareness. Knowing who she was, what she was, but with a distance that kept her emotions out of it. Now that distance was gone, ripped away, and her young, unformed mind was brutally assaulted with memories that she did not entirely understand, and emotions she couldn’t even begin to comprehend.

Doubling over, she clenched her eyes shut, fingernails digging into the palms of her hands as the overload in her mind manifested as physical pain. Why couldn’t she have stayed asleep? Why did she have to remember all of those horrible things?

She clapped her hands over her ears, an instinctive response to an unknown stimulus. It took her a moment to realize it was a sound, the first she’d heard other than her own heartbeat. Turning, she slowly opened her eyes and saw a faint glow. In that glow was a face. It had dark hair and fair skin. The ears seemed out of proportion, but the eyelashes that swept the chubby cheeks were beautiful and delicate. 

The sound happened again and she saw the hands that belonged to the face trying to tear the material that held him hostage. Reaching upwards, she began to pull at the sticky substance as well and soon the two of them had weakened it to the point where he could step through. His eyes opened for the first time and she couldn’t help the smile that stretched her lips as she saw their beautiful amber depths. A name surged out of the turmoil in her mind and reaching up to stroke his cheek, she spoke her first word. “Zan.”

~

Something wet was on her face. Touching it with her fingers, she brought them to her eye level, staring at the glistening moisture before brushing it against her tongue, wishing she could taste it. What was it? None of the others had ever leaked water out of their eyes. But then, she wasn’t like the others, not anymore. They were strong and unafraid of this new dark world they were in. The strange rushing sounds from other tunnels and the noises of the various small creatures that lived down here with them didn’t startle them or keep them from sleeping.

They didn’t like the sounds she made though, so she had learned to be quiet; the bruises faded quickly, but the pain didn’t and she was too afraid to ask Zan to heal her. Afraid, she was always afraid. The only time she wasn’t was when Rath and Lonnie went up above and it was just her and Zan. Sometimes they talked of Before, and sometimes they just sat and watched the light from above flicker over the dark water in the adjoining tunnel and she would dream that the water was a different color, and that instead of the tunnel she was seeing an open field with two suns overhead bathing them in warm, gentle light.

Then Rath and Lonnie would return with their tales from up there and the people they saw as they ate the food they had taken. She wanted to go up there, to see the world above, but they wouldn’t let her. Zan said it wasn’t safe and Lonnie laughed unpleasantly, pinching her cheek as she said that they wouldn’t want anything to happen to the little Queen. She hated it when Lonnie called her Queen, the way her voice would change, although Zan never noticed. Hated the way her brown eyes burned with an emotion that Ava didn’t have a name for. It was then that her memories would threaten to overwhelm her, warnings from the past filling her with a formless dread that would make her shake for hours, trying to hide her fear from the others and knowing she failed.

She couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t supposed to happen. That this wasn’t what their creators had intended when they gave them a second life. She still didn’t quite understand _why_ they had a second life, or everything that had happened in their first life, but she knew deep inside that hiding in this dark, dank hole, was not what she was meant for, what any of them were meant for.

~

The sky was blue, blue! It was absolutely beautiful, so different from the warm gold of the sky on Antar, and the clouds were so fluffy and white, scattered across the sky like a careless child’s toys. The only thing visible in the sky at home had been ships, and, toward the end, the dark black glow of Antarian weaponry. Lowering her gaze to the trees around her, she reached out to touch the bark of the one closest to her. It was rough against her skin and she could feel the life pulsing beneath her fingers. Her lips lifted in a smile, her third of the day, and she wished she could stay up here forever.

A rare sound reached her ears, and glancing away from the tree she saw two human children, just a little younger than her, chasing each other across the park. They were giggling and Ava thought she had never heard such a wonderful sound. Zan approached her and took her hand and Ava smiled again; maybe this life wasn’t so bad after all.

The two children were tossing a ball back and forth as they ran. The little girl suddenly fell as she collided with Rath, dropping the ball and staring up at him in fear. Rath sneered at her and snatched up the ball, he and Lonnie stalking over to the two of them and smirking. 

“Stupid kids. Let’s go get some eats. I’s starving.”

Ava tried to hide her anger at Rath’s callous treatment of the children, but wasn’t quick enough to avoid Lonnie’s all too sharp gaze. The blonde gave her a cold grin, forcibly tilting her chin up until she was staring straight into the other girl’s ruthless brown eyes.

“Is the little Queenie sad for the humans?” she asked, eyebrows rising dangerously.

Ava refused to answer, instead blanking her face of all expression and tightening her hold on Zan’s hand.

Lonnie’s lips twitched with anger, but she took the hint and backed off, linking her arm with Rath’s. “Come on, there’s a hot dog stand on 135th we hasn’t hit yet.”

Ava sighed, knowing she would pay for her moment of courage later and followed dutifully, glancing over her shoulder one last time to see the little boy hugging the little girl, and wishing with all her heart that she’d been born human too.

~

Last night she had snuck out and watched a play in the park. The main character was a boy who never wanted to grow up and had flown away to a place called Never-Never Land where he could always be free. Tears welled up in her eyes as her cheek stung and her side ached from Rath's hands – if Peter Pan didn’t have to grow up, why did she?

Rath sneered at her before stalking toward the dilapidated couch. Ava just stared at him for a moment before waving a hand over herself, instantly erasing all of the outward signs of the abuse, and feeling something inside of her shrivel at the realization that she couldn’t erase everything else so easily. 

Ava crawled to her feet and walked further down the tunnel to their pods, as far from Rath as she could go before sinking to the ground. Reaching out, she fingered the jagged edges of the pod she had slept in for almost forty years. As near as she could tell it was exactly seven years to the day since she first stepped out into the sewer, and that made her about thirteen-years-old by human reckoning. Dropping her head onto her knees she wondered what had happened, what had gone so wrong in this rebirth

Although she didn’t know who exactly had sent them here, and was sure that their personalities had not been expected to be identical to their first lives, this could not have been intended. Rath had been her first crush, her surrogate brother, the one who protected her, teased her, introduced her to Lonnie, threatened Zan with horrible punishments if he so much as laid a hand on her the night they got engaged, and now he was her abuser.

The tears flowed hot and fast now, burning acid on her cheeks, and Ava wished that they had been allowed to die in peace. If Antar truly needed them, they needed who they had been, not who they were now. A King who spent all his time avoiding thoughts of his destiny, a Queen too afraid to stand up for herself, and the other two – malicious and violent traitors. What possible hope could they have of saving Antar from Kivar’s cruelty if they were guilty of much worse?

Gradually her sobs lessened and she began to slip into a semiconscious state, praying as her mind left her body that Zan wouldn’t come back until her body had finished healing itself; she wouldn’t be responsible for his death. Not again.

~

Her stomach still convulsing furiously, Ava straightened, wiping her hand over her mouth before waving it over the ground and erasing all signs of her vomit. Zan was dead and it was all her fault. If she hadn’t hidden how Rath and Lonnie acted when he wasn’t around all these years, then maybe he would have been prepared for their treachery. He may not have wanted to be King, but he didn’t deserve to die like that.

Another violent sob escaped her and she bit her lip so hard that blood spilled down her chin, staining her skin like the guilt stained her soul. She loved him. She’d loved him as Lady Avaelithe of the House of Caoith, and she’d loved him as Ava, a reincarnated alien Queen living in the sewers of New York. It seemed that she was doomed to watch the man she loved die as both. 

Something was burning deep in the pit of her stomach and it wasn’t more bile, it was anger. Colder and harder than anything she’d felt before and she knew it was about time she stopped being afraid. Her inability to stand up for herself and her opinions had cost her the man she loved in two lifetimes, and she would be damned if she died a second time without avenging him.

“Are you done yet? It’s time to go,” Lonnie said sharply, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the car they had stolen. “We have another wannabe King to find.”

Ava plastered a terrified look on her face and nodded dumbly, stumbling on her way into the backseat and flinching at Rath’s laugh. Inside her mind was busy, years of practice at hiding her thoughts serving her well. At some point she needed to get away from them, even with her anger boosting her powers, she wasn’t strong enough to take on both of them yet and she needed time to practice, and maybe, allies. She could only hope that the other version of the Royal Four weren’t as warped as the two things in the front seat or not only would she be damned, so would Antar and, quite possibly, Earth as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains quotes from the Roswell episodes ‘Meet the Dupes’ and ‘Max in the City’ I own none of the material in those quotes.

  
_Chapter Two ~ Roswell_

 

_We, unaccustomed to courage_   
_Exiles from delight_   
_Live coiled in shells of loneliness_   
_– Touched by an Angel, by Maya Angelou_   


Ava tuned out the blather of the two creatures next to her and focused on the group standing in the UFO center. Max had held her attention at first, but he reminded her too much of Zan for her gaze to linger and she had found herself drawn to the other girl staring at him. Liz, that was what Rath had said her name was, and there was something about her that struck a chord in the blonde hybrid. Throughout the ensuing confrontation and the myriad deceitful explanations that Rath and Lonnie gave, she kept quiet, silently observing all of them although her focus remained on the small brunette, the only one in the room who had given her a smile or seemed to notice her at all.

Unfortunately none of them, not their dupes or Liz, seemed to see through Rath or Lonnie, although there was clearly no trust lost between the two groups, and Ava began to fear for Max’s life. If he didn’t go along with their plans, she didn’t think they would be above killing the only King they had left. The only thing keeping him safe was Kivar, ironically enough. He wanted the pleasure of killing the new Zan himself, and Ava had come to the sickened realization that her two ‘siblings’ were following Kivar’s orders, at least when it suited them. It seemed that history both repeated itself, and led to new, entirely worse, betrayals.

Later, as the two plotted ways to get Max to go with them to New York, she let loose a few comments, planting the seeds for her own planned defection. If she stayed with them, she’d never get loose and Zan wouldn’t get his justice. Besides, this group clearly needed the assistance of someone who knew something and Liz, well Ava didn’t think she was completely human anymore. She didn’t know why, but her weakest power, that of premonition, was telling her that this girl was important – not just to her personally, but to all of the Antarians. She could only hope that her instincts were trustworthy, and not about to lead her down an even darker path.

~

Ava spent the morning working up her courage to tell her ‘family’ that she wasn’t going back to New York; when Tess showed up to go with Max she had to fight to hide her smile. This was perfect.

“Too tight. Looks like there’s no room for me. Just as well,” she said bitterly, no longer hiding her dislike for her companions. She almost laughed as Rath’s eyes bugged out of his head, and she could see his fists clenching as he fought to hide his anger from the cloned King.

“What you trippin’ about?” he finally managed to sputter, glaring at her fiercely.

“I ain’t goin’,” she stated, her voice flat and eyes cold, no longer hiding beneath a veneer of timidity.

“Don’t be crazy. What are you gonna do, stay in the desert? Yo…just get in the car. Hey, I said get in, or I’ll…”

Once again Ava had to fight to hide her smile as she saw Rath biting his tongue to hold back all the things he wanted to say to her. Well, she might as well plant some seeds of doubt in the others. Max might be too dense to see it, but Tess looked smart, maybe smart enough to keep her Zan safe. “Kill me? What, you gonna kill me?”

Max finally reacted to something, his eyes showing that he had come out from inside himself, but Rath was quick to brush off his concerns, managing to lull him into getting into the car. Ava kept her victorious smile in her head and ignored the glare she saw Lonnie shooting at her from behind the car window. She was free and it had never felt so good; she only wished Zan was with her.

~

Ava had chosen the alley behind the Crashdown to sleep purposefully, knowing that at some point Liz would stumble upon her, and that the inherently kind nature Ava had sensed in her would lead to an opportunity for conversation. Ava needed to learn more about this little group, to see who could be trusted, and just how much they knew about their past, and their intended future.

What she hadn’t planned on was actually falling asleep, comfortable enough in her environment to truly rest, deeply enough to dream. The shock of Zan’s death washed through her all over again, her subconscious overriding her conscious blocks, and before she could stop herself she was telling Liz almost everything, trusting the girl more than she had trusted anyone on Earth. It should have surprised her that Max had healed this girl, saved her life, but it didn’t. It fit with what she had seen of his personality so far, different from both her Zan and the original, and it explained the energy she felt in the girl. Liz may have been human once, but she wasn’t anymore, at least not completely, and clearly she had no idea.

She also hadn’t planned on being so defensive when Isabel confronted her, but she kept seeing Lonnie’s cruel expression super imposed over Isabel’s, and it shook her more than she wanted to admit. When Michael threatened her, she was hard pressed to hide her terror, afraid that he was more like Rath than he appeared.

It was Liz’s plea that moved her enough to fight past her fear. If she let Lonnie and Rath kill Max out of fear, then she was letting them rule her life and her freedom meant nothing. It was time to tell the truth.

“Lonnie and Rath…killed Zan. And they’re probably gonna kill Max.”

In the following tension filled moments, she realized that Michael’s gruffness hid his vulnerability and that he was no more capable of Rath’s viciousness than Isabel was of Lonnie’s cruelty. It hurt to realize that they truly cared about each other, that they were the family she hadn’t gotten in this life, and was never going to have now. She wondered if Tess realized how lucky she was, but brushed the thought away in favor of helping these people save their brother, only hoping Zan forgave her for not saving him.

“Liz can do it.”

At their shocked looks and Isabel’s outburst, she realized just how little they knew about themselves and their powers; they couldn’t even sense that Liz was different. It saddened her because she knew that as soon as she had helped them and averted this crisis, she would have to leave. They weren’t prepared to be her allies and they were in no way ready to take on Rath and Lonnie or any of their other enemies. So instead she spoke the words that would change the path of their lives, oblivious to how much it would change hers as well.

“Max brought you back from the dead. You’ve been changed.”

“What do you mean by changed?”

Hearing the fear in Liz’s voice, Ava tried to put reassurance in her tone. “Look, there ain’t enough time to explain. You just gotta trust me here. If Max brought you back, then… you’re different now.”

She saw the acceptance in Liz’s eyes and then Isabel’s, and gave a small smile as the tall blonde took the small brunette’s hand. It would be okay, and maybe later, after all of this was over and when she had gained more control of her own powers, she could come back to Roswell and explain it to them.

~

She had been right. Liz had saved her Zan and they had made it back to Roswell safely. Part of her wanted to be lulled into a false sense of security and stay here with these people who genuinely cared for each other and didn’t show their affection with violence, but she knew that Rath and Lonnie weren’t going to accept defeat lying down. They wouldn’t be back here, not right away. Four to two wasn’t their style, but it didn’t mean that they wouldn’t be looking to take their anger out on her, and she intended to be far far away by the time they did.

“Goodbye. Good luck, okay?” Liz said as they stood facing each other awkwardly on the sidewalk, real affection in her eyes even as she nervously bit her lip.

Ava fought a blush and promised herself she’d check in on Liz every now and then, watch her to make sure she was okay. “Thanks, you too.”

When Liz hugged her she wasn’t sure what to do at first, her body instinctively flinching from the physical contact, but she forced herself to react and hugged the girl back. “So cornball,” was all she managed to say, the only emotion she could allow herself to show.

“Okay,” Liz replied, her smile showing that she understood, maybe more than Ava realized, and with one last smile the blonde waved goodbye. It was time to earn her freedom.


	4. Chapter 4

  
_Chapter Three ~ What price freedom?_

 

_And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor._   
_Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow_   
_From my books surcease of sorrow_   
_– The Raven, by Edgar Allen Poe_   


Ava shelved the last book with a satisfied sigh, then placed her hands on her hips and rotated in a slow circle, her eyes scanning the whole room. It looked perfect; she had managed to shelve an entire shipment in three hours. Twirling one pink tinted curl she gave a brief smirk, no one would think to look for her, street rat extraordinaire, working in a bookstore in a relatively small town in Nebraska of all places. When she had first left Roswell, she had intended on finding a job in a bar or an all night diner in some large city, but had realized that Rath and Lonnie would be able to predict that decision and look for her accordingly.

So, instead, she had removed her piercings and all of her tattoos except for the royal seal of Antar on her back, a memorial for Zan. She had lengthened her hair although she had left in the streaks, not willing to completely sacrifice her personality, and cleaned up her wardrobe, then wandered through a few small towns before finding this one.

The bookstore owner was an elderly woman who no longer had the energy to mind the store and was looking for someone to take over the daily duties so she didn’t have to sell it. The town was small enough that Rath and Lonnie were unlikely to ever set foot in it, and large enough to not be too shocked at a single girl with pink streaks in her hair living alone. Even if her former family did decide to visit the town, she would hear of it rather quickly as they would stand out like sore thumbs, and they would never step foot in a bookstore. Neither of them knew that almost every afternoon she had managed to slip away from the sewers, she had spent in the New York Public Library, reading the days away and pretending she was a normal, human girl.

Every evening and all day Sunday she spent in the woods outside her new town, strengthening her physical abilities. Her mental abilities she already had excellent control over. Dreamwalking was her strongest simply due to the fact that it got the most use. When living with Rath and Lonnie she had left her body as often as she could, finding peace in other people’s dreams and sometimes just resting in the dream plane and watching the orbs glow around her. Her Mindwarping was also strong, although she only used it when necessary, something that had frustrated the others when she refused to aid in some of their schemes. Premonition was her weakest ability, completely out of her control and rarely giving her more than a strong feeling about a certain situation or person.

But, other than molecular manipulation, she hadn’t had much call to use her physical abilities, preferring to pretend that she didn’t have them for a certain measure of safety from the others. If they believed her to be weak, then they didn’t think she was a threat. Even before Zan’s death, she had known that her life depended on her not being seen as a threat, and now she was convinced that it was the only reason they hadn’t killed her too.

A threat was exactly what she wanted to be now however, and she needed her powers strong and under control. So her evenings were spent blowing up rocks and then reforming them, and perfecting her one unique weapon – fire. In the past couple of months, she had increased her control to the point where she could burn an entire tree to ash in less than a minute, or set fire to an individual leaf on a tree from a thirty foot distance. Part of her wanted to hunt down her family and kill them now, but the rest of her, the smart part, knew that it would be better to wait, because if they were truly working with Kivar, then they would not be alone. While she was willing to die to achieve vengeance, a suicide mission wasn’t one of her immediate goals.

Sighing, she reached up and massaged the back of her neck as she walked towards the door and flipped the sign to closed, before turning the lock at the handle and flipping the one on top of the door with a small burst of telekinetic energy. It was her weakest power aside from her premonitions, but it came in handy for things out of reach of a petite girl.

Tonight, she wasn’t going to practice. Tonight she was going to check on Liz for the second time since leaving Roswell. The first time she had visited Liz’s dreams, the group had apparently just gotten back from Vegas and she had managed to glean from the images that while things weren’t perfect, they seemed to be going well enough without any significant crisis’s, and that there had been so sign of Nicholas, Lonnie, Rath, or any other enemies, although there had been some strange images of Max. She hoped to find similarly good news tonight.

If nothing else, it would be a welcome change from her own dreams. Her nights were filled with visions of Zan’s death, the worst being the ones where he would return to haunt her, his soulful eyes burning with anger as he blamed her for not saving him. Lately, those dreams had been interspersed with nightmares of Rath and Lonnie burning with unquenchable flame as they chased her through darkened streets. Those inevitably woke her trembling in a cold sweat, the taste of ash on the back of her tongue, and she was never able to fall back asleep afterwards.

~

Liz’s dream orb was dark, almost black instead of its usual warm golden glow, and Ava felt a ball of dread forming in the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong, horribly wrong. The color of a person’s orb was determined by their aura, and only something severely traumatic could change the color of a person’s aura to this degree. For Liz, whose aura had remained steady despite everything she had been through with Max and the others, to change so drastically… Ava shuddered to think of what must have happened.

Steeling her nerves, she slipped into the orb, hoping against hope that she was wrong, that her staying away hadn’t caused this. When she saw the images flowing through Liz’s subconscious, she knew that she wasn’t. Here before her was the cost of her freedom; if she hadn’t left, then maybe, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. It was time to go back to Roswell and this time she vowed, she wasn’t leaving unless it was with Liz.

She was tired of having to wait for a trigger before she acted, tired of death leading to revelation. If she had acted against Rath and Lonnie despite her fear, then maybe Zan would still be alive. If she hadn’t let her fear, fear for them and fear for herself, drive her away from Roswell, then maybe Alex would still be alive and Liz wouldn’t be grieving so deeply that the very signature of her soul had changed. 

Fear wasn’t going to stop her anymore. No one else was going to die so that she would act. It was time to face facts – she needed help to confront her enemies, and someone else needed _her_ help. Love and trust scared her more than death itself, they had been her downfall in two lives, but she felt both for Liz despite their brief meeting, and knew the brunette felt the same intrinsic pull even if she hadn’t earned it. It was time to stop running and accept her Antarian side with all that came with it, as well as her human side, which could no longer be denied even if she’d wanted to.

~

When she arrived in Roswell, it was once again too late. She could feel the concentration of energy in the desert, the power of the Granilith being used for purposes it was not intended for, and she was halfway down the street to the Crashdown when the power peaked, knocking her to the ground as she watched the burning streak light up the afternoon sky. The energy filling the atmosphere was strong enough that she could draw on it to feel the others, standing shocked and staring, as if they were next to her instead of miles away.

Tess. Tess was gone. If the others hadn’t gone with her that left only a few options, and one of those options was that Tess, her clone, her other self, had somehow been responsible for the death of Alex, whose funeral she had seen in Liz’s dreams. It seemed betrayal had tainted both foursquares.

Crawling to her feet, the blonde made her way back to the alley behind the Crashdown and climbed up Liz’s ladder, perching on the edge of her balcony and waiting for the other girl to come home. Part of her hoped that Liz wouldn’t blame her for Alex’s death, would still see her as a completely different person from her double. The other part hoped that she _would_ blame her, would tell her just how horrible she was for leaving, for not warning them that maybe they too had a traitor in their midst, a traitor wearing her face.

When Liz’s face first appeared in the window, eyes hollow and cheeks streaked with tears, the pain emanating from her nearly knocked Ava to the ground for the second time that day. Liz’s eyes widened in fear and anger when she first saw the blonde standing on her balcony, but she quickly recognized Ava and her face crumpled, tears streaming silently down her face as she stumbled into the hybrid’s arms. 

They stood like that for what seemed like hours; Liz sobbing as Ava rubbed her back until Ava started crying too, the first time since Zan’s death, and then they were both holding on as tightly as they could, drawing strength from each other to keep from drowning in a suffocating sea of grief.

Liz was the first one to break the silence, her voice hoarse and ragged from expressing her grief. “Alex is dead, Tess killed him. Max got her pregnant and then let her go because she said the baby couldn’t survive on Earth. He let her go!” Her voice was shaking with anger now, her fingers digging painfully into Ava’s back as remembered rage flowed through her. “He told me it would be okay, he pulled me into his arms and told me he loved me.” The words dripped with disgust and Ava hugged her tighter, feeling her own anger waken and begin a slow smolder in her stomach.

The brunette pulled back and stared into Ava’s eyes, her own cold with determination. “You said I was different now. I know I’m changing, sometimes I can feel it like a warm tingling in my hands. And my dreams, my dreams aren’t about human things anymore. I want you to teach me. The next time someone tries to kill someone I love, I want to be able to kill them first.”

Ava nodded, a small smile curving the corners of her mouth. “Works for me, Cornball. What about the others?”

Liz fell silent, considering. “Max won’t like it, but the others…If they want training and you don’t mind I won’t say no. They should be able to protect themselves and Michael, Michael would have killed her. He believed me, even when Max didn’t.”

Ava nodded again and rubbed her arm gently. “If they want training I’ll train them, but you’re my first priority and if I didn’t know you wanted the honor, I’d beat Max into a bloody pulp, Zan copy or not.”

Liz chuckled, a smile stretching her lips for the first time in weeks. “You’ll stay with me then, I’ll tell mom and dad tomorrow. They’ve been so worried about me that I don’t think they’ll protest, especially when I tell dad he gets to ban Max from the Café.”

The blonde giggled, taking Liz’s proffered hand and following her into the bedroom, sudden joy bubbling inside of her and temporarily washing away the guilt and fear. Maybe not all family wanted to hurt you or betray you; maybe she really did have a shot at that second chance.


	5. Chapter 5

  
_Chapter Four ~ Fault Lines_

 

_Well, now,_  
_if little by little you stop loving me_  
_I shall stop loving you little by little._  
_– If You Forget Me, by Pablo Neruda_  


“Give me one reason why we shouldn’t kill you,” Max growled out, his eyes, eyes that Liz had once found so irresistible, flashing with bitter rage.

Liz stepped in front of Ava, her own eyes dark with fury, and gave a derisive laugh, the sound crackling through the tension filled room like a slap to the face. “Maybe because she’s never done anything _wrong_? The only person who deserves to die is the one you let go, Max, and don’t you _dare_ try to blame Ava for that.”

Max rocked back on his heels, clearly surprised by the vehemence of her response, although the scowl never left his face and Liz fought a shiver. Something about the way he felt to Liz’s nascent, alien driven senses had made her skin itch since he first walked into the room. 

Maria, who’d been standing shocked in the corner of Michael’s living room ever since Liz walked in with Ava, took a tremulous step forward. “How could you bring her here, Liz?! How could you stand next to her after what we just found out about Alex?”

Liz’s expression softened as she turned to her best friend. “Because she didn’t do anything to Alex, Maria, and we can’t hold her accountable for Tess’s actions any more than she could hold Michael and Isabel accountable for what happened to Zan.”

Maria shook her head, blonde curls bouncing agitatedly as tears welled up in her green eyes. “No, Liz! It is not that simple, it shouldn’t be that easy for you! Alex…” Her voice carried both anger and grief and after saying Alex’s name she broke off, just staring wordlessly at the brunette.

Liz’s eyes hardened and she took a step back, standing closer to Ava. “Alex would have been the last person to judge Ava for who she looked like.” She had known that Ava’s presence wouldn’t be immediately welcome, especially a bare two days after they found out the truth of Tess’s betrayal, but she had hoped that once they calmed down, everyone would see the advantages of having someone with Tess’s knowledge, but not her tendencies, as part of the group.

As far as she was concerned, Ava had proved her loyalty when she helped Liz save Max’s life in New York, and she already trusted her enough that ‘Tess’s cousin’ was staying with her under her parents roof, sleeping on an air mattress in Liz’s room, since she had refused the guest bed. “She saved your life, Max. She’s the only one who knew I would be changing, or at least the only one who admitted it, and we need her. Especially now.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he snapped, immediately on the defensive, as he had been ever since she made it clear that nothing more than friendship was possible between them, not anymore. It wasn’t that she didn’t still _want_ more, part of her always would, but the death of their chances at happiness had begun with Future Max’s visit and ended with Tess’s pregnancy. She was physically and emotionally incapable of trying again.

She waved her hand exasperatedly through the air. “It means, Max, that our primary source of information on all things alien, just went to your enemies with _your son_! If we’ve ever needed allies, it’s now.” Not to mention, she thought silently to herself, the fact that given Tess’s betrayal, she highly doubted she had successfully prevented the end of the world; who knew when the invasion would strike now? And Future Max’s insistence on having the fourth member of their foursquare just made Ava’s presence all the more important; although she wasn’t prepared yet to admit to the others just how bad a mess she’d made of things. That particular confession could wait for another day; one where she wasn’t being glared at by her best friend and her ex-boyfriend while his sister, his brother, and her other ex-boyfriend all stared silently into space, each apparently lost in their own thoughts.

“She’s right, Max,” Michael said suddenly and unexpectedly, reaching up to scratch at his eyebrow, voice heavy with exhaustion. Both Max and Maria shot him betrayed looks and he shook his head. “I’m not saying you have to trust her, or even like her, but it would be stupid to turn away a source of information.”

Liz shot him a grateful glance, glad to hear another voice of reason, and accepted his stoic nod as the only acknowledgment she would receive. Max’s hands clenched into agitated fists, but he finally nodded, and gritted out “Fine, she can stay. If she helps me get to my son.”

The room fell into yet another shocked silence, everyone staring at Max as they tried to process his apparent intention to leave the planet. Liz blinked; it wasn’t that she didn’t sympathize, she couldn’t imagine the pain he was going through knowing that his son was in the hands of the man who killed them, but what could he possibly hope to accomplish? He didn’t know the culture, didn’t have a firm grasp of his powers, even if he did manage to get to Antar, what would he do? Ask nicely for his son back and hope they didn’t execute him first?

It was Ava who broke the heavy stillness, speaking for the first time since their arrival. “I’ll answer yous questions, but I’s ain’t goin on no wild goose chase with you. I’s here to train Liz, and those two if they want it,” she said with a nod towards Michael and Isabel, “But I ain’t gonna be yous personal alien detector.”

Max glared at her furiously, before sweeping his eyes over the room with angry disdain and leaving the apartment with three quick strides, slamming the apartment door behind him. Liz slumped, feeling the drain of no sleep and the emotional toll of everything that had happened since Alex’s death. Hot, burning tears stung the corners of her eyes. She hadn’t had a chance to mourn yet, that night on her balcony with Ava was the first and only time she’d cried for her lost best friend. He deserved better than that, no matter the circumstances.

“I, I can’t be here,” Maria stammered out, shaking off Michael’s comforting embrace and fleeing the apartment with one last tearful glance at her best friend. The door closed quietly behind her, but had no less of an impact on the remaining young adults, the shattered remains of what had once been an almost cohesive group of friends and allies.

Isabel had barely reacted to either departure and was still sitting on the couch next to Kyle, staring blankly into space. Kyle was alternating between glancing at her worriedly, and eyeing Ava with an indefinable emotion in his pale blue eyes.

Michael reached up to scratch his eyebrow, body tense with exhaustion and strain. “Do you need a place to stay?” he asked the blonde, voice hovering between reluctance and sincerity.

She shook her head, gesturing to Liz. “I’s staying with Cornball; we’s already told her parents that I’s Tess’s cousin, needed a place to stay since there was bad blood between us.”

Michael snorted, face darkening. “That’s one way to put it.” He sighed then, leaning wearily against the wall and rumpling his hair. “I’d like to take you up on that training, but not today.”

“Me too,” Isabel said suddenly, before Ava could reply. Her eyes were hard with characteristic determination, but glossy with unshed tears. “I want to be able to protect the people in my life, before anyone else dies because of me.”

Kyle, Liz, and Michael, all opened their mouths to protest her acceptance of guilt, but Ava beat them to it. “Unless yous mindwarped Alex, yous didn’t kill nobody. But I’ll train yous, and the next time some bitch tries to betray you, I’s help yous kill her, even if she does look like me.”

Isabel nodded, blinking back her tears, and smiled shakily before turning to Kyle. “Take me home?”

He smiled back and followed her towards the door, pausing to give Liz a brief, comforting hug before leaving, the three remaining teens staring at each other in awkward silence. 

“Thank you, Michael, I’ll see you at work tomorrow,” Liz finally said, managing a faint smile as he nodded and then led Ava towards the door, shooting one last glance at his broad, clearly tired frame over her shoulder before closing the door behind her. His support had been unexpected, although maybe she should have expected it after his help with investigating Alex’s murder, but definitely welcome. 

She only hoped that Maria and Max would also come around eventually. The past few days had been tumultuous and it was understandable, given everything, that they weren’t emotionally prepared to deal with Ava, or the reality of how much they needed her. Maria had lost her best friend, just as Liz had, only she’d been blindsided by the truth of his death. Max not only had grief over Alex, but the knowledge of his son being out there somewhere and the more personal betrayal of Tess’s actions.

Liz understood those reasons, she did, but it didn’t take away _her_ feelings of anger and betrayal over how they, especially Max, had treated her ever since Alex’s funeral, and she too needed time for healing and forgiveness.

She felt like she’d been running without a single moment to breathe ever since she stepped foot back in Roswell after being in Florida. She’d been hit with one crisis after emotional trauma after disaster, all leading to a complete mental and emotional devastation that she didn’t know if she would ever recover from. Sometimes she felt like she was suffocating, drowning without any ability to pull herself out. That was why _she_ needed Ava. Not because of the future, or their enemies, but because the small blonde offered Liz a chance to retake control of her life; a chance to regain some of the self assurance she used to possess in abundance.

Learning to use her powers, to access the tingling electricity she felt burning inside of her, was the first step to getting that control, and she couldn’t wait to get started. And at the moment, she was almost glad that it would just be Michael and Isabel there, despite the distant relationship she shared with both of them. Aside from Kyle, they were the only two people in their group that it didn’t hurt to be around, and maybe it was time to strengthen those relationships, before it was too late.


	6. Chapter 6

  
_Chapter Five ~ Training_

 

_Nor judge me light, tho’ light at times I seem,_   
_And lightly in the stress of fortune bear_   
_The innumerable flaws of changeful care_   
_– Sonnet I, by Robert Louis Stevenson_   


The energy filled her, warm and tingling just this side of pain. As she concentrated, the tingling spread and grew until it was pouring out her fingertips in streams of green and spiraling up her arms like thin, living snakes. She waited until it peaked, until it crossed the line into actual pain burning against her skin and boiling in her veins, and then shoved it from her in a controlled burst. The energy arced thirty feet and crashed into the six-foot boulder, dissolving it into dust in the space of a few seconds and leaving a feeling of peace in its wake.

The sound of muted clapping reached her ears and turning, she saw Kyle and Isabel applauding her while Michael smirked. Liz allowed herself a faint grin and bowed at the waist, triumphant butterflies dancing in her stomach. She’d come a long way from a split second projection to New York, and she was pretty damn proud of that fact.

She also had a sudden empathy for Michael and his tendencies to blow things up when upset. It was very satisfying to watch something explode after yet another fruitless phone call with Max, or a strained and silent shift with Maria.

“Remind me not to piss you off,” Michael said gruffly, and the other two laughed while Ava assumed his earlier smirk and poked him none too gently in the side.

“Aww, poor Michael, surrounded by all these women who can blast you into bits.”

“I think Maria’s lungs scare him more than we do,” Isabel said sarcastically before he could reply, and Liz suppressed both a pang at the thought of her still distant best friend, and a chuckle at how true the statement was.

Michael just grunted, but she saw a faint twinkle in his eyes, and stopped fighting her smile. This was their third training session, and the first two meetings had been understandably awkward and tense. By now though, both Michael and Isabel were treating Ava as her own person, and as a mostly accepted member of the group. Even Kyle had warmed up enough to converse easily with the small blonde, something Liz found nothing short of amazing, since as far as she was concerned, he had the most reason to feel betrayed by what Tess had done.

It gave her hope that their reluctant group of companions, tied together by such fragile strings, would be able to turn the destruction of their lives into a catalyst for coming together, rather than falling completely apart.

Pulling the ponytail out of her hair, she ran her fingers through it and rolled her shoulders, relieving the last of her tension. “So, I think it’s someone else’s turn. I’ve done enough damage for one day.”

“I think you’ve got a ways to go before you catch up with me,” Michael said with a chuckle as he rumpled his tawny locks, earning smiles from Isabel and Kyle and a frown from Liz as she caught the underlying bitterness to his tone. She knew Michael had always compared himself to Max, and not in a favorable way, but she’d thought that in the past year, during which Michael had become the responsible one in most cases, that he’d stopped feeling the need to do so. She certainly didn’t compare them, they were far too different in personality and temperament for their actions to be judged on the same meter and it was foolish to try.

Max was, in most cases – passive, an optimist, someone who led with his heart, had trouble trusting himself or anyone else, and possessed a high academic intelligence and a natural tendency for leadership. Michael was, in most cases – aggressive, a pessimist, someone who fought his emotions yet acted on a more instinctive level than the other boy, who rarely gave his trust but once he did, it was nearly unshakeable. He possessed his own intelligence, and an ability to reason that superseded the academic plane, although he was perfectly capable of succeeding on that level if he’d wanted to, and he didn’t deal well with authority.

They both had flaws; they both made good and bad decisions, but their approaches to life were so different that sometimes she’d wondered if they would have even been friends if they didn’t have the alien secret tying them together. Then again, look at her and Maria, who also had drastically opposite personalities, and despite the personal betrayal she felt at the moment for how Maria had reacted to her suspicions over Alex, she couldn’t imagine not having the bubbly blonde in her life. Maybe it was the same for the two boys. If so, she hoped that the presence and actions of Tess, Ava, and herself, didn’t manage to drive a permanent wedge between them, just as she hoped that there wasn’t a permanent wedge driven between her and Maria.

“Do you want to try again Kyle?” she asked to break the silence, shaking away her moodiness in an attempt to prevent the need for blowing up any more rocks, however satisfying the action might be.

He shrugged, one side of his mouth lifting into a strained smile. “Why not? I just love failure.”

“It’s not failure,” Ava said firmly, giving him a gentle shove towards where Liz was standing. “Max didn’t connect with you on the same level he connected with Liz, so you didn’t receive as much energy, that means your brain and body have to work harder to adapt to the changes.” He rolled his eyes dismissively, but stepped forward, and she gave him an arch look. “You decided you wanted to develop them. If you had left it alone, you probably wouldn’t ever attain an active state, so no bitching, got it?”

Kyle grinned devilishly at her. “So, now we have a Christmas Nazi and a Training Nazi?”

Liz and Michael winced as both blondes turned furious glares on him and Liz stepped prudently away from Kyle, wanting to be out of the blast radius. They were all on edge and Kyle had never been what she would describe as a cautious person, but taunting two impressively powerful women, who both had just as much emotional turmoil to work through as he did, was really, really risky, even for him.

“Maybe if we blasted him, he’d learn to shield,” Isabel stated coldly, her arms crossed over her chest and all amusement gone from her eyes.

Ava nodded her agreement, lips pursing thoughtfully. “I think we can work out a new training regimen, just for him; really put those ‘Nazi’ tendencies to work for us.”

Michael chuckled, and then choked on it as two impressive glares were turned on him. He pressed his lips together in a thin line and directed a grim look at Kyle. “Watch it, midget, before you get us all flattened.”

Kyle just grunted, then turned away and stared at the rock next to the one Liz had blown up, his brow furrowing as he concentrated. Almost a minute later, the rock wobbled slightly. Several minutes later it hadn’t moved again, and Kyle slumped, muttering to himself. “I need to start carrying aspirin.”

Ava walked towards him and placed a hand on his head, ignoring his instinctive flinch, and then smiled when he relaxed after her hand glowed briefly. “Try to avoid the name calling, or next time I’ll make it worse instead,” she said with supercilious sweetness when he turned surprised and grateful eyes on her.

He gave her a lopsided smile and nodded. “Deal.” Tilting his head towards Isabel, his smile turned hopeful. “Forgive me for being an ass?”

She waved her hand magnanimously, expression softening ever so slightly. “I suppose.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Great, now they’ll get used to apologies.”

Isabel started to glare again and Liz laughed, unable to hold in her amusement any longer, and wanting to prevent the renewal of the tension. “I promise Michael, we won’t expect them from you.”

He nodded sharply, face severe but eyes subtly glimmering. “Good.” Turning towards Ava, he raised one eyebrow. “So what’s next?”

Ava rested her hands on her hips, eyeing all four of them thoughtfully. “I want to try something new. All of you come stand over here by Kyle.” They obeyed and she directed them to stand in a modified foursquare position; Isabel next to Kyle, Liz behind Isabel with her back turned to the other girl, and Michael behind Kyle, also with his back turned so that all four of them were facing outwards towards the desert, rather than each other.

“Close your eyes,” she instructed, watching them intently. “Breathe slowly and try to focus your energy, but without trying to release it or do anything with it.” She waited several moments before continuing, her voice softer. “Think about what your energy looks like, how bright it is. Does it have a color, a texture?”

Liz concentrated, seeing a soft green glow, not as bright as the energy she used for destruction, but somehow more intense. It felt warm, like a bath that had reached the perfect temperature, and it felt right, no longer something foreign and alien, but like a part of her.

“Let the energy fill you, surround you, but don’t use it. Just let it be,” Ava said, her voice barely audible to Liz as she sunk into that well of power until she could feel it bathing every inch of her skin. It was intoxicating, but in a different, more soothing way than she had felt when using it to blow things up. She felt grounded and in control in a way she hadn’t in a very long time and she didn’t want the feeling to end.

“Now open your eyes,” the distant voice instructed, and Liz let her eyelids slide lazily upwards. She gasped. The world around her was illuminated, full of colors and lights and shadows she had never before seen. Every rock, tree, even the ground, all glowed softly, and she could see tiny bright sparks that she gradually realized were living creatures – lizards, snakes, even tiny insects. Turning her head to the side, she saw Michael standing beside her and stopped breathing for a moment, staring in awe.

He glowed with rich, dark gold light, faint whorls of red and green and black hovering over different parts of his body. She could feel the power inside of him pulsing against her own, and knew that if they wanted to, they could merge their power and use it perform feats she never would have thought possible. At her back she could feel similar power from Isabel, and a fainter but still strong pulse from Kyle, and realized that this was why the foursquare was important.

It wasn’t addition, as she had somewhat naively assumed. When it came to their powers, it was multiplication she now realized, instinctive knowledge flooding her brain as she calculated the strength of the energy rushing through and around her. If two of them merged, they were four times as strong. If three of them connected, nine times. And if all four of them joined their energies, they would have sixteen times as much power as they had individually, and not much in this world could stop them.

If this was the kind of power they had wielded in their former lives, she shuddered to think what could have defeated them. Who could have defeated them, and what devastation such power could cause, both to people, and to planets.

Fear tainted her joy in this new world that had opened to her, and her heart seized in her chest as panic surged through her veins. Was this the kind of power that would destroy Earth? Had her and the others thoughtless actions over the past years, sealed her planet’s fate? So much power between them, so much potential, but would it, could it, be enough?

Only time would tell. She clenched her fists and focused on the energy flow – training had never been more important.


	7. Chapter 7

  
_Chapter Six ~ Visions of Future Past_

 

_And, when night comes, I’ll go_   
_To places fit for woe,_   
_Walking along the darkened valley_   
_With silent melancholy._   
_– Memory, hither come, by William Blake_   


_Something heavy laid over her, pressing her into the earth. She struggled and pushed, panic stiffening her limbs as her oxygen-starved lungs caught fire. Without warning, the weight vanished and she was surrounded by cold, empty darkness. She rose to her feet, shivering in the formless void as dread trailed icy fingers across the back of her neck and coiled in the pit of her stomach, hard and heavy. Something brushed against her and she flinched, frantically turning in circles as she tried to see, hear, sense anything, and failed._

_The strange presence came again and again until she was buffeted from all sides, confusion and fear strangling her vocal chords as she wept silently until it stopped, leaving her dizzy and spent, heart palpitating angrily against her ribcage. A sudden burst of light blinded her and a single tone, loud and pure and all encompassing, drove her to her knees as it pierced her ears, sending agony skittering along her nerves until the light in her skull eclipsed the one surrounding her._

_The light and sound ceased as suddenly as it had begun and she panted, terror fading into exhaustion, her mind overwhelmed. Something inside her gut started to burn and she felt the energy, the energy she had forgotten existed, start to grow and pulse, her every cell crackling with power as the intensity built until she thought she would turn to ash if it grew again by even the smallest increment._

_The energy remained as a constant burn, an almost unbearable pressure against her skin from the inside, and in the blink of an eye she was no longer surrounded by nothing. She was standing in the middle of a field, a field of bodies, bloodied and still warm. A figure appeared on the other side of the field, insubstantial to her eyes but somehow more present than anything or anyone she’d ever felt._

_“Would you stop it?” it asked, and she stared, not understanding what it wanted from her. Would she stop this bombardment of her senses, this horrific experience? Would she stop whatever had caused the thousands of deaths she was literally standing on? What if these lifeless bodies were those of her enemies, those who would destroy everything she held dear?_

_The answer to all of those questions, if she was willing to admit it to herself much less the strange being confronting her, was yes, and so she slowly nodded, never taking her gaze away from the ominous silhouette. There was a long stretch of silence and she got the impression that it was studying her, examining her and her intentions in a way she couldn’t comprehend._

_“It shall be done,” the voice echoed and rolled across the plain, the bodies, and everything else, vanishing until all that remained was the figure and she once again stood in a vast vacuum. The figure moved with shocking speed until it was standing right in front of her. All she could see was its eyes, as black and empty as the space around her, and they pulled at her until she fell into them, the darkness invading her nose and mouth until it filled her, drowning her energy, her sense of self, until not even a spark of Liz Parker remained._

A sharp pain ripped through her head and she woke violently, clutching her skull as she rolled over and heaved. Her stomach was empty and the heaving turned into dry, racking sobs, acid leaking out of her eyes and eating its way up her throat. 

She couldn’t remember more than vestiges of the dream, brief flashes of the pain and terror, but she knew it wasn’t the first, and she suspected that it wouldn’t be the last. She didn’t know how much more of this she could take. The first dream, vision, nightmare, had occurred the night after Ava had shown them how to connect with their energy, and she had had one every single night since then: two and half straight weeks of no rest and a constant sense of dread that had turned her into a shadow of the shadow of her former self.

By contrast, her days were going surprisingly well; at least the training portion of them. They had all, even Kyle, learned how to access their full energy potential, to see and sense the energy around them, and how to draw to upon that energy if needed. Ava didn’t think they were ready to try sharing energy yet; something Liz privately agreed with, as the regular bonds between them were still fragile and liable to break if overly strained, and were definitely not strong enough for the absolute trust required for that level of connection.

Maria had thawed slightly and now spoke civilly enough to Liz at work, although she still avoided Liz outside of the Crashdown. She also knew the blonde was still making an effort to spend time with Michael, although she had forbidden anyone to talk to her about the training or anything else alien related that wasn’t immediately life threatening. 

Max had stopped calling her, stopped talking to everyone really. None of them were sure exactly what he was doing with his time since he had quit his job at the UFO center, but he still showed up for dinner with his family every night, so the five teens remaining in the alien abyss had reached a silent consensus to leave him alone until he was ready to come to them, or something happened. 

Her father, seeing how pale and thin she had become, had cut down on her shifts, and when she wasn’t training or working, she tried to spend time with Ava doing normal human things, things the other girl had never experienced, and that Liz hadn’t had time for in the past two years. It hurt, that Maria wasn’t yet willing to restore their friendship to its previous closeness, and her heart still ached whenever she pulled out her journal or remembered the happy times with Max, when they were still clueless of what the past, and the future, held in store for them.

Yet, despite that constant pain, if it wasn’t for the dreams, she felt that she would be able to start the healing process. She wasn’t ready to move on, not yet, and the loss of Alex, of her previous rock solid friendship with Maria, of her trust in Max, of her trust in herself, were still gaping holes in her psyche that would take years to heal. But she was ready to take the first step down that path and the damn dreams were preventing her from doing anything but cling to her sanity as hard as she could.

It was time to bring the others into it, to see if there could be another source besides her own troubled mind. Maybe Isabel could get inside her head, now that she had more control of her waking and sleeping powers. 

Her bedroom door opened and Ava walked in, carrying two steaming mugs of coffee. She took one look at Liz, still hunched over the edge of the bed, and hurriedly set the cups down on the bedside table, then wrapped her arm around Liz’s shoulders and helped her sit up. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I’ve been having nightmares,” Liz admitted quietly, lifting her gaze to meet Ava’s. “I think we need to have a meeting.”

~

Neither Max nor Maria had shown up to the meeting despite being invited, but no one had expected them to so they had proceeded without comment. Liz was sitting on the couch, facing Isabel, both girls with their eyes closed as Liz focused on allowing Isabel into her mind now that she knew how to protect herself, and the blonde focused on getting in.

Michael, Kyle, and Ava all watched silently from various positions in the room, until Isabel pulled away, shaking her head in frustration. “I don’t understand it. I can get in, I can see your energy, but your memories of the dreams are completely blocked, almost like something’s pushing me away from them.”

Liz slumped, equally frustrated, and turned her eyes towards Ava, wordlessly asking if the other girl had any ideas. Ava frowned and didn’t reply, clearly lost in thought, so Kyle was the next one to speak. “Maybe we should get Max, see if there’s something he can do.”

“I don’t think you can heal dreams,” Liz said dispiritedly, rubbing at her temple with a pained grimace, but managed a half smile in Kyle’s direction for the attempt.

Kyle shook his head to indicate his disagreement, and Michael added his voice to the conversation, brow furrowed as he locked gazes with Liz. “It’s not just the dreams, Parker; you’ve gotten twitchy, lost weight, and you were already too tiny. Even if he can’t help with the dreams, maybe he can help with the symptoms.”

She frowned at the tiny comment, but couldn’t really dispute the fact that her health was suffering. She just didn’t want Max to heal her, assuming he even could, because the thought of connecting to him when both of their wounds were still so raw and fresh, with their memories of everything so close to the surface, made her wish to be asleep and dreaming again, no matter how horrific. Michael was still staring at her and she reluctantly waved her hand, muttering, “Fine, whatever.”

“Now we just have to get him to agree to come,” Isabel stated, sounding both determined and hopeless, her beautiful features taut with strain as she clasped her hands together.

“I’ll do it,” Michael said with a bitter smile. “That’s my job as Second, right? Cleaning up after him, doing his dirty work.”

Liz opened her mouth to make a sarcastic comment about her being Max’s dirty work, but Ava spoke first, her blue eyes trained on Michael and expressing clear surprise. “What do you mean your job? You’ve never been Max’s Second, not unless you got a sudden urge for military service in this life.”

Michael raised an eyebrow and they all stared at her for a moment before he chuckled dryly and shifted his position against the wall. “That’s not what Tess and Nasedo said, but, given everything, we probably should have assumed that everything told us was lies.”

“It wasn’t just them, Michael, when we saw our Mom, she said…” Isabel trailed off when she saw the confused look that Ava was giving her. “It was a mindwarp wasn’t it?”

She sounded so lost, and Liz wished that they were close enough that she could comfort her, knowing from her old connection with Max just how much that glimpse of their original mother had meant to Isabel.

“I don’t know what you saw, or if you actually spoke to your mother, but Rath was not Zan’s second. Rath was a Vaneth, a servant of the Granilith, and as such was Zan’s equal, even superior in certain circumstances,” Ava stated, her voice gentle at first as she directed her words towards Isabel, before firming as her attention shifted to Michael. The tawny- haired boy’s mouth had gaped open as he stared at the smaller blonde, an expression Liz knew she shared. 

Apparently their ignorance really knew no bounds she thought grimly, and damn her and Future Max all to hell for not bothering to find out or share more.


	8. Chapter 8

  
_Chapter Seven ~ Revelations_

 

_Dreams, only dreams in the dusk,_  
_Only the old remembered pictures_  
_Of lost days when the day’s loss_  
_Wrote in tears the heart’s loss._  
_– Dreams in the Dusk by Carl Sandberg_  


“I was a what?” Michael asked sharply, his jaw snapping shut as he moved past his shock and straight into information gathering mode.

“You were a Van thingy, keep up now,” Kyle said with a smirk before Ava could reply, clearly trying to lighten the building tension in the room, and continue his tempting fate streak.

Michael glared at him and Liz shook her head with a sigh. “Why don’t we all shut up and let Ava talk, since apparently she’s the only one in this room who knows the truth about anything.” Her voice was tired and tainted with bitterness and everyone sobered, all gazes shifting to the small blonde in the chair next to the couch.

“I’ll start at the beginning then,” Ava said with a faint frown, her eyes taking all of them in, and her voice taking on an almost rhythmic cadence as Liz noticed once again that when things got serious, Ava seemed to lose her accent. Sneaky little punk, cultivating her street rat image. 

“Aízan was the first born child of King Cathàn of the Royal House of Addaon and was heir to the throne. Vilandra was the second born child, which gave her an automatic seat on the Council of Houses, and meant that she would inherit the throne if Aízan died without an heir.”

Liz’s gaze slid away from Ava to settle on Isabel, who looked fascinated and a little scared, obviously waiting for the truth of her supposed betrayal. Kyle had shifted subtly closer, leaning against the couch arm closest to the blonde, and Liz bit her lip thoughtfully, wondering for the first time if it was just friendship developing between the two of them, and how she would feel if it was more.

She, herself, was very fascinated by what Ava was saying, and more than a little horrified at the fact that they’d been so ignorant, to the point of not even knowing Zan’s full name. “Ardrath was the first born of a minor House, the House of Araide, and his father was an adviser to the King, mostly functioning as a petty spy on the other Houses,” Ava continued, catching Liz’s attention again as she saw Michael grimace out of the corner of her eye. It was certainly better than Hank, but she knew it wasn’t what he had been hoping for. “At a very young age, Ardrath was chosen to be trained as a Vaneth, a very small group of individuals who served as voices for the Granilith.”

“How is that, whatever that means, equal to the King?” Michael asked, one of his eyebrows rising doubtfully, and Liz tore her gaze away from his face to look at Ava, also wondering what that meant, and if she was going to finally find out exactly what the Granilith was. What about it was so important that so many lives had been ruined?

Ava pursed her lips, her face thoughtful as she weighed her words. “The Granilith was, is, to Antarians what you would call a deity. It’s a being, very ancient, of near absolute power. I believe it’s a sort of living crystal, although I’m not sure how a scientist would classify it, and since it doesn’t have the freedom of movement that we do, it allied itself with the Antarians thousands of years ago.”

Liz rocked back in her seat, trying to process that staggering fact in the context of all that she knew about it and its capabilities, and Michael started to pace. “Are you saying that the ship that Tess took was actually a god?” he asked disbelievingly, his hands twitching restlessly in agitation.

“Well, first thing, that ship was not the Granilith, just powered by it, and secondly, god isn’t quite the right word, at least not in Earth terms,” she paused, frowning, and Liz’s hands tightened into fists, not sure if she was glad or mad that they’d been successful, albeit unknowingly, in keeping the Granilith out of enemy hands. “It’s hard to explain, but Antar doesn’t have religions, or even a religion, like Earth does. The Granilith is powerful and knowledgeable and highly respected, but it isn’t worshipped.” Her gaze shifted over all of them, and she shook her head at the lack of comprehension she saw. “I’m not explaining this right, let me show you instead.”

She slid off the chair and sat down cross-legged in the middle of the living room floor, gesturing for them to join her. Liz sat on her left, then Michael, Isabel, and Kyle on Ava’s right, forming a small circle. The boys looked anything but comfortable, and Liz and Isabel exchanged amused grins as they awkwardly positioned themselves, Kyle faring better than Michael thanks to his meditation practice and honed athleticism.

“Now, everyone hold hands,” Ava stated firmly, no room for opposition in her tone. Liz took Ava’s hand and offered her other to Michael, who hesitated briefly before taking it, his large, warm palm completely swallowing her hand. She gave him a small smile, ignoring the brief teasing glint in his eyes, and then turned back to Ava, who directed all of them to close their eyes and focus on her energy.

Liz sunk easily into her own well of power, taking comfort from the now familiar warm caress of green energy. Once settled, she shifted her attention to Ava, whose energy was a pale rose that tingled almost like one of those pungent, muscle soothing gels. The energy drew her in, lightly flavored with everyone else’s auras, and suddenly she was somewhere, and somewhen, else.

_Ava tilted her chin so that she could see the glittering ceiling of the grotto, her eyes widening in awe and her hands tightly clutching the skirt of her gown. It was the first time her father had allowed her to accompany him to the Granilith chamber, a privilege usually reserved for Royalty, and of course the Vaneth like her father. It was beautiful._

_Something brushed against her energy core and she started, gasping softly as she felt a faint trickle of amusement._

_‘Peace, child, I merely wished to greet you.’_

_The little girl’s mouth fell open as she realized just who, or rather what, was speaking to her, and she began to tremble, barely managing to compose a mental response. ‘It is an honor, Great One.’_

_‘No need for such formality, child, although I appreciate the respect. You are the daughter of one of_ my _children and as such, you and I are kin of sorts. You may visit my chamber anytime you wish.’_

_Ava’s skin begin to radiate with soft light, indicating her pleased embarrassment, and she curtsied gently. ‘Thank you.’ A hand descending on her shoulder startled her again and she turned her head to see her father smiling warmly down at her._

_“I see you have met the Àrd-Tidsear,” he stated, gently brushing his aura against hers. “What do you think of the Great One?”_

_“I think it’s a lot nicer than everyone says!”_

_Her father’s deep chuckle was joined by the Granilith’s energy, swirling amusedly across both of their auras, and Ava’s glow intensified as she stared down at her favorite pair of embroidered slippers, wishing she said things prettier like Piral. A wave of comfort and affection wrapped around her energy core and she relaxed, daring to send a brief spurt of her own energy outwards in response to express her gratitude. She’d never been happier to be the daughter of one of the enigmatic Vaneth, even if the other children in her lessons did treat her strangely sometimes. She was speaking with the Great One! And it liked her!_

__

~

_Her new book tucked under arm, Ava slipped through the side entrance to the Granilith chamber and made for her favorite spot, an out of the way corner of the grotto where her presence wouldn’t disturb the Vaneth, or the King or Queen if they came to visit._

 _Half -way there, she stopped in surprise to see her father escorting another child through the main entrance, a boy maybe two or three years older than her. Was it the crown prince? No, this boy didn’t have the intricate marks of royalty staining his skin, although there were faint swirls of color on his cheeks and hands, indicating that he was at least a member of one of the Houses._

_What was he doing here she wondered a little petulantly. This was her special place, and no one other than a member of the Royal Family or the Vaneth should be here, and he was definitely not one of the other two Vaneth, whom she had known since she was born. Her father noticed her regard and beckoned to her; she summoned a polite smile, made sure her aura was appropriately rosy, and walked towards them._

_When she got closer, before her father spoke, she saw the tattoo on the inside of the boy’s right palm and couldn’t hide her shocked reaction. Her father noticed and smiled as she joined them. “Yes, Ava, the Granilith has chosen Ardrath here to be a Vaneth; I will be training him until he is deemed ready.”_

_Ava smiled at the boy, pleased to have the mystery solved, and knowing that her father would be less likely to take on the more dangerous tasks if he had a student. Ardrath merely nodded at her in response, and she repressed her instinctive hurt when she saw the shock lingering in the gold of his eyes, belying his stoic façade._

_The Granilith rarely chose so young, most would think never, but she had access to more complete histories than the majority of the planet, and his entire life had just been turned upside down. He was no longer a member of his House; no longer would he be trained for his family’s Council seat, for she could see in his marks that he was firstborn. All former ties were severed and he would now dedicate the rest of his life in service of the Granilith, protecting the planet and all the people in it._

_A cool demeanor was more than understandable at this point and so she took her smile up a notch, curtsying gently in a sign of respect as she formally greeted him. “I am honored to meet you, Ardrath. I am sure you will be a great credit to the ranks of the Vaneth.” Her aura took on a mischievous twinkle as she turned her smile on her father. “After all, you have the best possible teacher.”_

_Her father chuckled and Ardrath looked surprised, then a little less distant as his aura brightened and he spoke in a surprisingly deep voice. “Thank you, Lady Ava, it is an honor to meet you as well.”_

_Ava felt her skin beginning to glow in embarrassment and quickly excused herself, leaving them to their training and hurrying towards her corner, casting one last glance over her shoulder. For the first time, she found herself thankful that her father’s status meant that there was no arranged marriage in her future, once she reached maturity, as there was for most daughters of the Houses._


	9. Chapter 9

  
_Chapter Eight ~ A Whole Old World_

 

_There rises an unspeakable desire_  
_After the knowledge of our buried life;_  
_A thirst to spend our fire and restless force_  
_In tracking out our true, original course_  
_– The Buried Life, by Matthew Arnold_

 

_“Rath! What are you doing?” Ava asked through her laughter as he tugged on her arm. “I’m supposed to be studying, and so are you!”_

_“You already know everything, Ava, and your father is determined that I shall too, but there is someone I want you to meet; we can afford a small break,” Rath said, his tone teasing at first before turning more serious._

_Ava studied him for a moment, her eyes fondly tracing the handsome lines of his face, now so close to maturity, before taking in the colors of his aura, a darker gold than usual, indicating his intent. For all his teasing, Rath was far less likely to shirk his training than she was, so whoever this person was, they were important to him. Which, she thought with a hastily repressed glow, meant that they were important to her too. “All right, I will go with you. Where are we meeting this mysterious someone?”_

_“At the palace, and you’ll like her, Ava, I know you will,” Rath said as he turned to lead the way out of her chambers, missing the red flash of pain across her aura before she managed to conceal it. Her? This person was a_ her _? How could this happen?_

_Ava’s only comfort in her seemingly unrequited crush on Rath was that he had expressed interested in no other females, or males for that matter, and with the cachet of being a Vaneth in training, he could have had his pick of anyone from the lower or higher Houses who weren't already bound by arrangements. But she rarely visited the palace excepting official functions where her father usually took her as his escort, and the gossips there were tighter lipped than the flighty House youths. How long had he known this her? Who was she?_

_Her and her father, along with the other Vaneth and their families, were housed on the palace grounds, which had been built next to the grotto that contained the Granilith, so it was far too short a walk for her liking. Before she had completely composed herself Rath had led her into the palace gardens, filled with large and beautiful masses of blue interrupted by a riot of paler colors._

_Standing in the middle of one of the smaller gardens was one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen, and when the girl turned to face them, Ava saw the delicate tracings staining her skin and felt faint. Princess Vilandra? This was Rath’s her? How could she ever compete?_

_“Rath!” Vilandra cried, her face lighting with a smile as her aura automatically brushed against his, showing a familiarity that Ava had not expected, and sending shooting pains through her heart that she was hard-pressed to keep from tainting her own aura._

_“Hey, Lonnie, this is Ava, Lord Bethadh’s daughter.” In a private aside to Ava, he exercised a rare use of his gifts and spoke into her mind directly. ‘She’s lonely, Ava; please don’t judge her by her birth.'_

_Ava couldn’t manage to reply to him, not using that intimate connection, for it would reveal her devastated emotions, but she did manage to smile and curtsy. “It’s an honor to meet you, Princess.”_

_Vilandra’s answering smile was hesitant. “Please call me Lonnie; any friend of Rath’s is someone I know I’ll love.”_

_Ava saw the sincerity in her eyes, and her aura, and felt herself soften, her own aura brightening as she lightly skimmed it across Vilandra’s. “I feel the same way, Lonnie, so I am sure you and I will be great friends.” No matter how much it hurt._

__

~

_“There you are, Ava! I’m so glad you’re here, I cannot stand to hear one more person talk to me about potential betrothals, theirs or mine!”_

_Ava laughed and took Lonnie’s hand, guiding her toward a more secluded area of the state room where less people would have to pretend not to hear them. “It is all the planet is talking about, Lonnie, unless they’re discussing your brother’s lack of betrothal. You’d just better hope he puts it off as long as he can, because the moment some unfortunate girl is chosen to be the next queen, you’ll no longer be able to avoid the issue.”_

_Lonnie made a face and then sighed. “I know. I should consider myself blessed by the Granilith that father hasn’t insisted before now. Instead all of the pressure is on Zan. Thank heavens he is content to flirt with every girl he sees, without ever taking it further. He is far more interested in his rank in the combat and strategy lessons than choosing a bride.”_

_Ava rolled her eyes, tugging at the uncomfortable collar of her formal gown. “Even Rath is susceptible to that disease, and from what I hear, he and your brother are the top two in their lessons.”_

_“I just wish there was someone I would be willing to be betrothed to,” Lonnie said, lifting her own moratorium on betrothal talk. “But Rath is the only half-way decent male in court that I’m not related to, and I just don’t see him that way.”_

_Ava smiled, still relieved by that fact although her own crush on Rath was slowly fading as time went on and the realization that he did not see her that way sunk in. “What about the other planets in the alliance? Surely some of them have eligible males for you to meet?”_

_Lonnie shook her head. “I wish, but since father, and his father, married outside of Antar, he wants both Zan and I to marry within the Houses, to help ‘prevent unrest and remind the people of our loyalty’,” she said, her voice at the end taking on an uncanny resemblance to the King’s and making Ava giggle at the disgusted look on her friend’s face._

_“Mocking father again I see?” An amused male voice stated behind them. Ava started in surprise as she turned to see Prince Zan watching them both. “I can hardly blame you, he is so mockable.”_

_“And you aren’t, dear brother?” Lonnie asked with distinct sarcastic overtones as Ava winced. She knew that Lonnie and her brother didn’t always get along, but hearing them both speak so cavalierly and insultingly towards each other and their father, it went against all of her ingrained habits of respect and courtesy, especially in regards to the Royal House._

_“I think we are all mockable in our own ways, dear sister,” Zan replied with a charming smile, before turning his attention to Ava, who began to glow softly under his intent, and appreciative, gaze. “You must be Lady Avaelithe, Lord Rath and my sister both speak very highly of you. It is a pleasure to finally meet you.”_

_Ava dipped into an automatic curtsy, ignoring Lonnie’s irritated frown. “It’s an honor to meet you as well, Prince Aízan, although I am not sure I am worthy of their praise.”_

_“Oh, I think you’re worthy of much more,” he disagreed, flirtatiously touching his aura to hers for a split second before pulling away. “And I hope to see more of you so that I can be proven right.”_

~

_“I don’t know what you see in him,” Rath said with a frown, and Lonnie nodded her agreement._

 _Ava’s aura darkened with frustrated streaks. “I don’t care,” she snapped, pleased and guilty when both of their auras flared with surprise. “I am the one who is seeing him, not you, and I am tired of listening to your complaints.” Her angry regard turned to Rath, who stared stoically back at her. “You are his partner in lessons, at least until your training is complete, and I know you have no complaints when it comes to his skill or intelligence, so whatever your issue with him is, at least in my presence, get past it, please.”_

_Turning her head towards Lonnie, her glare softened. “Unlike Rath, I know you do have reasons to dislike him, and I don’t expect that to change, but please, Lonnie, I love you both, and I cannot keep being torn between you.” Shaking her head, she turned away from her two closest friends, heading toward the state room and out of the gardens, casting one last comment over her shoulder. “And just so you know, he has never once insulted either of you to me.”_

_A moment later they both came up behind her, Lonnie looping an arm through hers and both of them linking their auras with hers, their energy pulsing with apology. “I won’t promise to change my mind, but I will stop complaining about him to you,” Lonnie said first, Rath nodding his agreement._

_“I will stop as well; I just want you to be safe, Ava, body and heart.”_

_Ava smiled, loosing her hold on her energy and letting them both feel her forgiveness, and affection. “Good, now let’s go get this boring Council meeting over with.”_

_“You’re not officially betrothed yet, you can still avoid the meetings,” Lonnie pointed out, and Ava shook her head._

_“I might as well get used to them, and besides, I’m there to support all four of the people I love, since you, Rath, Zan, and father all have to attend. Where else would I want to be?”_

_Silence and bursts of affection, much more enthusiastic from Lonnie than the more reserved Rath, greeted her words, and she felt her own aura brighten happily as they walked through the garden door into the state room, and then through to the adjoining Council chambers. Along with most of the Council, Zan was already sitting at the table, and his aura brightened the moment he saw her, his gentle mental caress making her giddy with joy. Dealing with these meetings, even sacrificing her scholarly dreams to become Queen, it was all worth it for him._

_Taking her seat between him and Lonnie, she beamed at Rath from his place across the table with her father and the other two Vaneth, his answering, reluctant, smile making her laugh softly. She would make them all get along, no matter what it took. Nothing would take away her family._

_The King called the meeting to order, breaking her away from her thoughts, as he introduced the first order of business. “Kivar, son of Lord Addanc of the former House of Corph, is here to present his case for the reinstatement of his House now that his father has passed on, taking with him the stain of betrayal. Shall we hear him speak?”_

_The assembled Lords, Ladies, and Vaneth assented and a servant brought in Kivar, a handsome man some ten years older than Rath. Something about his eyes made her shiver, although his aura was open and showed gentle humility, and Ava tightened her grip on Zan’s hand, trying to ignore her chill of foreboding. Her happiness, and fear of losing it, was just making her paranoid._

_Intent on reassuring herself, Ava almost failed to notice the flicker of unease in Rath’s aura as he too studied Kivar. The sight took away her momentary comfort and she began to hope in earnest that they were both suffering from unfounded paranoia. Anything else was far too dangerous to contemplate._


	10. Chapter 10

__

_Chapter Nine ~ Familiar Faces_

 

_And we have been on many thousand lines,_  
_And we have shown, on each, spirit and power;_  
_But hardly have we, for one little hour,_  
_Been on our own line, have we been ourselves_  
_– The Buried Life, by Matthew Arnold_

Michael felt the warm tingle of Ava’s energy slip away from his and took a deep, shuddering breath, reeling from everything he had just learned, and from just how intimate a view he’d had into Ava’s head. He felt like he’d violated the blonde girl, in a far more intense and personal way than when he’d stolen Liz’s journal, and judging by the way she’d withdrawn from everyone, Ava felt pretty much the same way.

But the information they’d received as a result, it was mind blowing. Their world, their culture, their past, they were nothing like anything he’d imagined, and he was amazed at how wrong some of their assumptions had been. The sheer immensity of the power that the Granilith wielded staggered him, and he felt a sudden chill at the thought that Kivar most definitely still wanted it, that Tess leaving with Max’s son was not the end of things, and that everyone in Roswell was still in danger. Danger that only existed because of them, both their past and present selves.

He noticed that he was still holding Liz’s small, delicate hand, her aura still brushing warmly against his, and abruptly pulled away, standing up and walking away from the small group in an attempt to get some distance from what they had just experienced, and the lingering emotions it had engendered.

Everything he had just seen, felt, heard, sensed, had sparked uncomfortable feelings of familiarity; distant memories of a voice that was always present in his head, of a crushing sense of responsibility, of people and relationships that had once been important to him, but that he could no longer remember as anything more than a strange sense of déjà-vu. What had happened after the last memory Ava had shown them? What had led to them dying; no, to them being killed, and sent here? And to what purpose? And why the hell couldn’t _he_ remember these things?

Agitatedly rumpling his hair, he couldn’t help but ask himself how different his life on Earth would have been had he known these things sooner, what decisions he would and wouldn’t have made. Turning back to the look at the group, he catalogued their reactions; Isabel’s longing and fear, Kyle’s shock and concern for Isabel (concern that both pleased and worried his brotherly instincts), and Liz’s dazed, but somehow calculating expression, making him wonder not for the first time just what secrets she was keeping.

Ava finally straightened, clearing her throat and meeting his gaze, her shuttered blue eyes revealing no hint of her emotions. “I can help you unlock your memories; I think they might help Liz,” she stated, sparing a brief glance at the brunette who had looked up when the blonde began to speak.

He frowned, scratching at his eyebrow. “I want to see them, but how can they help Liz? What does any of this have to do with her dreams?”

The small blonde shook her head, also frowning. “I’m not quite sure, even my memories are not all complete or clear, but I know that the dreams are familiar, and what little I do know is telling me that you’re the one who will know what they mean.”

It was vague and he didn’t like vague, but although he had his suspicions about Parker keeping things from them, he couldn’t deny how often she’d proven her loyalty, not the least in sparing them from death on Antar, and he had no intention of letting her waste away if he could prevent it.

“Fine,” he grit out. “We can do another session tomorrow; I have a shift starting in an hour.” He shifted his gaze to Liz, who had her head tilted to the side as she watched him intently, feeling the faintest surge of guilt at making her suffer another night. “Or we can do it after my shift, whatever.”

She gave him a small, tired smile. “I can last one more night, and I think we could all use a day to recover from what we’ve already learned.”

He gave her a short nod, remembering once again why he respected her – the same strength he’d seen in her journal, only seeming to have increased thanks to the past two years, and then included the others in his gaze. “Well, then if you four would get out, I can get ready for work.”

Liz and Kyle chuckled while Isabel broke out of her stupor long enough to give him her patented icy glare, before gracefully rising to her feet, the others following suit with a little less regality, regality he now knew she had possessed in their former life as well. He watched them file out of the apartment, both Liz and Ava shooting him unreadable glances over their shoulders before leaving, and slumped with exhaustion the moment the door closed again. He hadn’t had more than a few minutes peace since Valenti came into the diner and told them about Alex; the shockwaves of that night were still rippling through their lives, along with everything that had happened after.

As much as he wanted answers, and as much as they desperately needed them right now, part of him wished that Ava’s arrival and all of the subsequent revelations could have been postponed until they’d all had time to deal with the repercussions of Tess’s actions, and with the sordid mess their lives had become. He was worried about Max; both for his brother, and that he would do something stupid to endanger all of them. He was worried about Liz, about the secrets he knew she was keeping, and about how pale and withdrawn she’d become, something the dreams had exacerbated, but that had started before them, even before Alex’s death if he thought about it.

He was worried about Isabel and even Kyle, and how they were dealing with Alex’s death and Tess’s betrayal. And most of all he was worried about Maria, who, although maintaining their relationship, seemed to be growing more and more distant as he delved deeper into his alien heritage, and worried that maybe she had the right idea. He had been right all those months ago when he told Maria that it wasn’t safe, that he was staying away for her own good. Although Liz would be dead if Max hadn’t intervened, he couldn’t help but feel that all of the subsequent trauma their human allies had experienced, hadn’t been worth the few rewards. It was too late to step back now; too late for what-ifs, but that didn’t stop the guilt.

He shook his head, irritated with himself for standing in the middle of his living room and brooding, and headed for the bathroom; maybe a shower would wake him up.

~

Michael was both disappointed and relieved when he showed up for his shift and found that Liz was working instead of Maria. He wasn't ready to face his conflicting feelings or hers, but also missed the closeness that they had spent the past year building. He kept a close eye on Liz, but she seemed to be holding things together -- her years of experience as a waitress serving her well -- even though his keen eyes picked up on her exhaustion.

Ava was sitting in a corner booth also watching Liz, although avoiding his gaze, and unwillingly his thoughts were drawn back to the memories they had witnessed, and another unanswered what if. What if they had treated Tess differently? Their lack of welcome by no means excused her actions, but if they had given her an alternative to Nasedo’s plan, been the family she remembered and had clearly loved, would Alex still be alive?

Liz handed him a personal order, summoning up the ghost of a smile, before turning toward the familiar jingle of the door, her smile brightening into something approaching normal as she went to greet the entering customer. It was only their fourth of the day, a young blonde woman who looked vaguely familiar to him. Michael watched with sudden concern as the blood drained from Liz’s face and she took a shaky step backwards, away from the woman who was staring at her with strange intensity.

Michael hurried out of the kitchen and through the backroom into the restaurant, glad that their only remaining customers aside from the blonde were an older couple who could barely hear or see, and that Ava was perfectly capable of making sure that no one but them could see or hear anything they shouldn’t.

Liz had taken another step back by the time he pushed through the swinging doors, and Ava was on her feet. A line of concentration marred her forehead as she stood behind the brunette and slightly to the side, both warily watching the woman who Michael still could not place. Stepping past Ava, he stood next to and just in front of Liz, glancing briefly at her pale face, and the green electricity already weaving through her fingers, before turning all of his attention to the threat.

“I’m not here to hurt you,” the young woman said firmly, carefully keeping her hands down.

Liz shook her head fiercely and hissed. “Somehow I don’t believe you, _Leanna_.”

Michael sucked in a sharp breath, finally recognizing the blonde, and raised his palm towards ‘Leanna’ or ‘Jennifer Coleman’ or whoever the hell she was, his hand emanating a soft, potentially lethal glow. “What do you want?” he growled, only a justly earned caution and unwillingness to deal with a body in the middle of the Crashdown holding him back from incinerating the woman where she stood.

“I was sent here to help you,” she stated, earning a bitter, derisive snort from Liz. The girl smiled sadly in response. “I know I haven’t succeeded very well. Killing the one you call Nasedo and keeping the Skins busy is not nearly enough to make up for the loss of your friend, or the betrayal of the other Ava. But I can help you now, if you’ll let me.”

Liz seemed to be too furious to speak, and Ava had other things to focus on, so it was Michael who had to reply to her shocking statement. “Why should we believe anything you say?”

“Promise not to shoot?” she asked with a hint of amusement in her green eyes, amusement that quickly faded as she cautiously raised her right hand, palm out, making all of them tense instinctively. There was some sort of tattoo on her palm and Ava gasped, taking a step forward so that she could see better. “No,” she whispered. “It’s not possible.”

‘Leanna’ just smiled, and Michael ground his teeth in frustration, hating that he didn’t know what had Ava so spooked. “What’s not possible?”

“Don’t you recognize it?” Ava asked in clear shock, turning wide blue eyes on him and gesturing towards the mark. “You saw it today.”

Michael frowned and focused on the shape, etched with some sort of ink that shimmered strangely in the light, wracking his brain until an image of a young Rath with the same mark on his palm flashed through his mind. “You’re a Vaneth,” he stated flatly.

She nodded and Liz started to laugh, an edge of hysteria tainting her voice as the green currents faded from her skin. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

Michael rocked back on his heels and scratched at his eyebrow, unable to do anything but completely agree with her sentiments.


	11. Chapter 11

  
_Chapter Ten ~ Trust Issues_

 

_All the world’s a stage_  
_And all the men and women merely players;_  
_They have their exits and their entrances,_  
_And one man in his time plays many parts._  
_– As You Like It by William Shakespeare_  


Liz didn’t want to let the electricity burning against her skin fade away; it was a violent and useful security blanket that she was fast becoming accustomed to. But she could see the strain Ava was under in keeping them all concealed, and she reluctantly pulled the energy back into her core, still glaring fiercely at ‘Leanna’. She had been there, she had seen Alex, and if she really was on their side, then why the hell had she allowed him to die? Biting back an angry sob, she pointed furiously at the back booth. “Sit down. You will tell us everything, and you’d better hope we like your answers.”

‘Leanna’s’ green eyes flashed for a moment, showing a bevy of conflicting emotions that Liz couldn’t quite decipher, but knew included both anger and guilt -- two emotions she could identify strongly with, but didn’t particularly give a rat’s ass about when it came to this alien woman who had done nothing but deceive. She was so unbelievably sick of alien revelations. Not a single one had ever done anything but cause devastation, and she wasn’t sure just how much more she could take before she snapped. And with her new powers, snapping was a dangerous, if tantalizing, proposition.

The alien sat down, sliding along the bench until she was against the wall. Michael took the seat next to her to block her in. Ava dropped her warp and sat across from them. Liz went to check on the older couple who were still obliviously enjoying their meal, before sitting down next to Ava and doing her best to control her anger. “So talk,” she said bluntly, not trusting herself to say anything else, and ignoring the probing and cautious glance Michael shot her.

‘Leanna’ cleared her throat, her hands clasped on the table where they could all see them. “My name is Canaich of the House of Saoidh, and I was sent by Queen Rìghan, and your father, Lady Avaelithe. You would have been sent help sooner, but the one you called Nasedo killed your original protectors, and it wasn’t until I was called that we learned of the Granilith’s interference with your rebirth.”

“What interference?” Michael ground out, before Liz could say anything. She resisted the urge to glare at him and fought to get a handle on her anger, exacerbated by her lack of sleep and the returning feelings that they had absolutely no control over anything; that no matter how much they learned and trained, they would always be ten steps behind.

“You should have been reborn shortly after arriving on Earth, but Kivar sent Nasedo after your ship and he killed all of your protectors after the crash, except for one who shall be dealt with for abandoning his duties.” Canaich’s voice was calm and informative, but developed a hard edge on the last few words that made Liz’s hands twitch. If she truly was on their side, that edge could be useful, if she wasn’t, well, it wasn’t like they weren’t used to betrayal. “The Granilith delayed the growth cycle of your pods, for reasons it has not chosen to reveal yet, so while the Queen and Lord Bethadh knew you were alive, we had no other information about your condition or location until I was called.”

Liz carefully kept silent, too many questions bubbling over to decide on one. Although Ava had revealed the true importance of the Granilith earlier that day, she hadn’t had much of a chance to truly think over the ramifications, and it seemed that she still didn’t understand just how much power it held. How, and why, had it delayed the pods? All of them apparently, since the New York set hadn’t hatched until later either. She tried to imagine her life if the eight hybrids had been born fifty years before her, and couldn’t, too many changes for her to comprehend. How could they ever hope to understand something that held the power to change, to influence, the course of so many lives?

“I arrived last year,” the blonde continued quietly, her pale green eyes focusing on each of them in turn. “After locating you, I discovered several colonies of Skins and did my best to keep them away from you. Once the one you called Nasedo had disbanded the human threat to you, I killed him, implanting the suggestion to warn you about the Skins. The next time I returned to Roswell, I found the other Ava acting suspiciously, and followed her to Las Cruces. She spotted me following her so I had to warp her. I knew she was manipulating your friend, but his life was not in danger, and I was being tracked by two different groups of Skins, so other than implanting myself in her warps, I did nothing.”

After speaking those words, words that sent anger roiling like acid in Liz’s gut, she turned all of her attention on Liz and placed her right hand over her heart, bowing her head. “I misjudged the situation and I take full responsibility for the death of your friend. Elizabeth Parker, I acknowledge and accept the life debt I owe you.” Beside her, Ava inhaled sharply while Liz exchanged a confused glance with Michael, wondering what exactly the woman’s words meant, and if this was a good thing, or just another messy complication.

~

Michael stood on Maria’s porch staring at the front door, unable to knock. In the past year, despite their rocky start, he had been there for her when she needed him, had opened up to her, and now it was slipping out of his grasp. Maria had always been easily excitable, subject to extremes of emotion, but while dramatic, she had never shied away from the reality of his life.

On the contrary she had shoved herself in, even when he didn’t want her to, _especially_ when he didn’t want her to. But now, now she flinched if he used his powers in front of her, even for something as simple as cleaning up a spill or removing a stain she’d pointed out. She wouldn’t allow any mention of anything alien related, and having to hide that part of him, now when he was finally getting answers, finally learning his true past and potential, from the one person he’d finally gotten used to sharing with... It sucked.

It hurt every time she pulled away from a kiss, or ended a hug when before she would have clung, as did the sinking feeling in his gut that told him it was only a matter of time before she ended things completely. He clenched his fists and then relaxed them, focusing on the pool of energy inside of him that he was finally learning how to control, and then raised his hand, knocking on the door three times before dropping it again. 

Moments later Maria opened the door, a patently false smile on her face as she reached up and kissed him on the cheek before pulling him inside. “Hey you, how was work? Sorry I couldn’t make it; mom wanted some bonding time. Been on one of her ‘I’m your mother and your friend’ kicks lately.”

He grimaced behind her back before forcing a pleasant tone. “Work was fine; pretty slow.” He couldn’t mention Leanna or Canaich or whatever her name was, or everything she’d told them, or that she was living in town and meeting them in the morning, that would be breaking Maria’s rules. Rules he was growing increasingly tired and wary of, just waiting for the other shoe to fall when she accused him of lying to her. 

He thought he understood where she was coming from; the loss of Alex, the truth of his death, it was a lot to deal with, but if anything, it had proven that denial was both stupid and dangerous. However he wasn’t prepared to throw in the towel yet, he still cared more than he liked for the aggravating blonde, so if that meant he had to withhold information until she was comfortable again, he would.

When she led him into the living room, and gently pushed him onto the couch, false smile starting to falter, his blood ran cold as it became clear that it didn’t matter that he was still willing to try if she wasn’t. His own smile disappeared into a stoic mask and she winced as she sat down on the coffee table in front of him, beautiful green eyes wide with regret and sorrow. “I’m sorry Michael; I just can’t do it anymore. I’m not me anymore; I haven’t been for a long time, and I need out, of all of this.”

He felt his fists clenching again and forcibly uncurled them, trying to figure out how to reply to that; what he could say to her, when apparently all she wanted was to be away from him, and everything that made up his life. “Are you leaving?” he asked quietly, wondering just how far she was going to go to get ‘out of all of this,’ and unable to ask anything more personal, not without losing the control he’d so painstakingly built.

“No. I mean, mom wants to go on a road trip this summer, but I’m not moving away, and I want to still be friends. I just can’t be a part of, well, you know,” she said earnestly, reaching out to take his hands, a gesture he allowed but didn’t return.

Michael searched her face, looking for any hint of hope that this was just one of her phases, and found nothing. “Whatever makes you happy, I guess,” he finally replied, unable to keep an edge of resentment out of his voice, and not truly caring, only the faintest flash of guilt surging through him as pain flickered in her face. She had fought and pushed her way into his life, and now was just walking right back out. If only everything was so simple. If only he had that option.

She sighed and squeezed his hands before pulling away. “I’m sorry, Michael, but I have to do this, for me, before it’s too late.”

He nodded, not trusting himself to reply, and managed a weak, almost smile. He really did want her to be happy; he just wished that she could have come to this realization at any other point in the past two years. He was also wondering what else was going to be thrown onto his plate, because clearly the universe wasn’t done fucking with him. He was beginning to think that Liz, this new angrier Liz, had the right idea when it came to dealing with all the shit thrown their way.

~

Liz glared at the milkshake machine, wishing that she could trust her powers enough in her current emotional state to clean it that way instead of toiling by hand. Ever since Leanna (she refused to use her ‘real’ name) walked in the door, her already volatile emotions had been completely uncontrollable. She’d had to work hard just so that she didn’t spark up in the middle of the diner, thanking her lucky stars that they were in that dead period after the first summer rush before the tourist season really picked up in July and August.

Getting answers was supposed to make her feel better, but each new piece of knowledge felt like a punch to the gut: more painful and ominous than helpful. The deceitful blonde woman apparently already had a place in town, which she had retired to shortly after declaring all that crap about the life debt, something that still hadn’t been explained to Liz’s satisfaction, and would meet them at Michael’s apartment in the morning to discuss the current state of Antar and their enemies on Earth. All things that made her want to blow up every single breakable thing in the restaurant, and scream until she was hoarse, because she just couldn’t do it anymore.

She had never truly regretted being healed, becoming a part of this ever growing alien abyss; after all, she had come to the realization that whatever Future Max said, war would have come, or would come, to Earth regardless of her involvement. But she was seventeen, almost eighteen, and while first loves were always dramatic, always life and death, or so they seemed while in the depths of them, the fate of a planet, of two planets, was a bit much to have resting on her shoulders. With each new piece of the puzzle, a puzzle they really had no idea of the true size of, she felt herself shatter just a little bit more. In the end, she wasn’t sure that there would be any of Liz Parker left.

Someone knocked on the glass of the front door and she shrieked, dropping the rag she was holding, and spun around, hands raised defensively and heart seizing in her chest. When she saw who it was she briefly considered keeping her hands lifted, but reluctantly dropped them and moved around from behind the counter to let him in. “What do you want, Max?” she asked wearily after opening the door, too tired to pretend that this was normal, that he hadn’t been avoiding her since that night in Michael’s apartment.

He was rocking on his heels, wearing rumpled clothes that looked like they’d been slept in, and sporting dark circles under his eyes along with rough stubble. He looked nothing like the Max she’d always known, more haggard than he’d been even after being captured by the FBI, and she felt a surge of concern, and wariness. The strange feeling he’d given her the night of the last meeting he’d attended was stronger now, and pulling on her powers she could see dark, unhealthy streaks in his aura – something was definitely wrong with him; something deeper than the trauma they’d all been through, and she had no idea what to do about it.

“I just wanted to see if you were okay, if everyone was okay, since I couldn’t make it to the meeting,” he said quietly, voice rough as if it hadn’t been used in a while. His eyes were locked on her with disturbing intensity and she fought a shiver, not wanting him to see how much his presence unnerved her.

But despite being afraid for him, and for herself, she couldn’t stop herself from saying what she really felt. “No, Max, we’re not okay. You and Maria are avoiding us; we’re all trying to deal with Alex’s death and learn everything we can about our powers and what we can expect from Kivar and the Skins, and it’s hard, and it sucks, and you should be there, dealing with this, and you’re not, and that’s not okay.”

One of his hands started to curl into a fist as she spoke, and he reached up to agitatedly rub at his head with the other. “You have no idea what I’m dealing with, what I’m doing,” he bit out when she finished, voice rising in volume with every word until he was almost shouting. “None of you would help me, none of you know what it’s like, so don’t tell me it’s not okay!”

The streaks in his aura were spreading and she thought she saw a glowing flicker of power in his clenched hand, making her pulse speed up and her mouth go dry with fear. “We want to help you, Max, but we can’t if you don’t talk to us, if you won’t listen. Come to the meeting tomorrow, Max, let us help you,” she pleaded, careful to keep her own hands down and to appear as non-threatening as possible.

He sneered, leaning forward menacingly, and she flinched back despite herself. Something, some hint of awareness, flickered in those eyes she had once lost herself so easily in. Then he turned away, stalking out the door and slamming it so hard behind him that the glass shattered, leaving her to stare at his retreating figure as the shards glinted in the harsh neon light of the Crashdown sign and wonder hopelessly if any of them were ever going to be okay again.


	12. Chapter 12

  
_Chapter Eleven ~ Reason in Madness_

 

_Yet if hope has flown away_   
_In a night, or in a day,_   
_In a vision, or in none,_   
_Is it therefore the less gone?_   
_– A Dream Within A Dream by Edgar Allen Poe_   


Michael leaned against the wall and watched Liz pace -- back and forth, back and forth -- her small hands clenched into fists so tight he wouldn’t be surprised if her nails were drawing blood. Ava caught his gaze and raised a questioning eyebrow; he shook his head, indicating that he didn’t know what was wrong with her. Unless Maria had broken up with her too he thought with a bitter snort. There was a brief knock on the door and then it swung open, revealing Isabel and Kyle, leaving ‘Leanna’ as the only missing member of the meeting.

Kyle looked slightly awkward, his arms hanging loosely at his sides, and Michael wondered distantly if the two of them had been holding hands before they opened the door. He hadn’t yet decided how he felt about the apparently blooming romance between his sister and the midget, and so refrained from commenting, instead turning his eyes back to the petite brunette who had finally stopped pacing and faced all four of them with her arms crossed protectively over her chest, her face as blank as he’d ever seen it.

“I need to tell you something before Leanna shows up; I lied to her about the time,” Liz stated, her face still expressionless but her voice shaking slightly, and Michael’s eyes widened in surprise as he wondered if she was finally going to share some of her secrets. She turned slightly, so that she wasn’t really facing any of them, and took a deep breath, her fingers tightening on her arms until the knuckles whitened. “Well, technically I have two things to tell you, so I’ll start with the easiest. Max visited me last night.”

Isabel gasped, Kyle instinctively wrapping his arm around her from his place next to her on the couch, and Ava exchanged a glance with Michael before turning her sharp gaze on Liz, who was looking at them again with worried brown eyes. “Something’s wrong with him. I don’t know if it was Tess, or something else, but his aura,” she shuddered. “It’s tainted and it’s doing something to him. He blew up all the glass in the door and almost…” she trailed off, running an agitated hand through her hair, and then shook her head when she saw the angry look on Michael’s face. “He didn’t hurt me, but I think it’s only a matter of time before he hurts someone; we need to figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it, before it’s too late.”

Kyle chuckled darkly, still gently rubbing Isabel’s back. “Well if that’s your idea of easy, I don’t think I want to hear the hard thing you have to say.”

Liz grimaced, her eyes shuttering as she once again tilted her face so that none of them could meet her gaze. “I don’t want to say it,” she murmured quietly, entire body hunching inward. “But I need to; I should have a long time ago. If I had – ” She let out a shuddering breath, a single tear trickling down her cheek, curdling Michael’s stomach with dread. “Well, let’s just say things would have turned out differently.”

She didn’t wipe the tear away, instead her eyes slid closed and she continued speaking, voice so soft that Michael had to strain to hear. “Last year, a couple months after school started, Max showed up in my bedroom. Only it wasn’t Max, not our Max.” Visions of shape shifters, of Skins, of more duplicates, started rushing through Michael’s mind, and it took all of his self-control not to walk over and rip whatever she was talking about right out of her mind, find out what had changed her so much, because he knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was when Liz Parker had changed.

“He said he was from the year 2014; that he’d come here because the world had ended, and that it was all our fault.” She gave one, sharp-edged, bitter laugh and shook her head, eyes still closed, words falling off her tongue quick and despairing. “I didn’t believe him of course, but he provided proof and gradually I accepted that he was telling the truth, and that I needed to do whatever it took to change the future he told me about; a future where everyone but he and I had been killed. He _told_ me that because he and I were together Tess left town, and that without her they weren’t strong enough to defeat your enemies. He told me that I had to get her and Max together, no matter the cost.” She finally opened her eyes, now dry and cold as she flicked her gaze to Kyle, who had a look of shocked comprehension on his face, before meeting Michael’s dark and angry eyes.

“It took a few tries, and methods I won’t go into now, but as you all know it worked. And as you all know, he and I were fucking idiots, and all we did was make things worse. All we did,” her voice broke and she angrily bit her lip, obviously fighting tears, “All we did was ensure that Alex died too young and that we fell right into Kivar’s plans.” Her bottom lip was stained crimson where she’d bit it too hard, and Michael focused on that instead of how much he wanted to shake her for not coming to him, for keeping such a horrible, important secret for so damn long.

She tore her gaze away from him and focused on Isabel, who had tears streaming down her face. “I’m so sorry; I thought I was doing the right thing and I was so wrong, and so stupid, and I’m sorry.” Her last words ended in a choked sob and she turned away, shoulders shaking as tears stained her cheeks. Ava leapt to her feet and wrapped her arms around the other girl, murmuring something in her ear that Michael couldn’t hear, and he turned away from both of the crying women in his living room, his hands clenched into fists and his breathing heavy as he barely stopped himself from punching a hole in the wall.

God, their lives were so fucked up, and every day it only got worse. What the hell were they supposed to do now? How could they ever fix a cluster-fuck of these proportions?

~

The room was silent and tense when Leanna finally showed up, the sound of her knocking on the door startling everyone out of their dark thoughts. Her pale green eyes widened slightly when Michael wrenched open the door, face stoic and forbidding, and she saw that everyone else looked similarly welcoming. Liz was sitting on the floor against the wall, her arms wrapped around her knees and Ava’s arm around her shoulders. Isabel was still on the couch, Kyle’s arm wrapped around her waist, and, after closing the door behind the blonde alien, Michael resumed his post leaning against the wall opposite the one Liz was sitting against. He found it hard to look at the tiny brunette without anger rising like bile in his throat, anger that was only partially directed at her.

Leanna stood uncertainly by the door, her gaze darting between him and Liz, clearly unsure who she should be addressing. Liz didn’t even look up, so she settled on Michael, her shoulders straightening as she assumed a more formal air. “Would you rather have a more detailed update on my actions here? Or the current situation on Antar?”

Michael too found his gaze drawn unbidden to Liz; she’d been the one to direct their questions so far, but she was still withdrawn inside herself, although he could tell by how tense her frame was that she was listening, so he scratched his eyebrow in frustration before turning back to the blonde he still didn’t trust and ordered; “Tell us everything that’s happened since we were killed.”

She looked a little surprised, but covered it quickly, and nodded, her voice taking on an almost rhythmic cadence as she spoke, reminding him of the way Ava sometimes talked. “Queen Rìghan and Lord Bethadh managed to escape the Palace slaughter and reach the Granilith chamber with your bodies; it sealed itself and remained protected against all of Kivar’s attempts to break through. The Granilith then transported them to one of the royal laboratories and they were able to clone your essences. Earth was one of the planets that the Granilith had advised expeditions to before, and it instructed them to send you here, the planet it had chosen for its new resting place, as Kivar had ordered the execution of all Vaneth and forbidden the populace from mentioning or invoking the Granilith’s name.”

Ava frowned, muttering something under her breath that Michael didn’t catch, but Leanna continued before he could ask. “They sent you here with several of the royal guards and the only other surviving Vaneth besides you and Lord Bethadh, but one of the lab technicians ran and turned traitor, informing Kivar of the plan. The Queen and Lord Bethadh were able to escape before Kivar found them, but he sent a ship after you, a ship that contained the one you call Nasedo and two other shape shifters.”

Isabel looked up at that, her tears long dried and her face firmed into the strong-as-steel ice princess Michael knew she could be, lightening his mood ever so slightly. “You mean Nasedo wasn’t our protector? Why did he help us then? Why didn’t he let the FBI take us all?”

“Because Kivar wanted something from you. You and Ava weren’t supposed to be killed in the initial attack – you because you were his partner and lover, and her at your request.” Isabel paled, her grip on Kyle’s hand tightening at the first confirmation from an ally of her role in their downfall, but didn’t react other than that, earning a proud and supportive smile from both boys. “When he realized that your pods had been delayed, and that the Granilith had abandoned Antar, he created the plan to have Nasedo retrieve the four of you, and Ava’s child, hoping he could gain control of the Granilith through her offspring, and so that he could have you back.”

“Why not go to the Duplicates then?” Liz asked quietly, raising her head and speaking for the first time after glancing briefly at Ava, who was still frowning in obvious thought.

Leanna looked at Liz, her stance a touch more deferential than it had been when she was focused on Michael, making him deeply curious since Liz had no rank with their people, at least as far as he knew. “Because the Granilith had removed its blessing from the duplicates, and he would not have been able to use them or their offspring to commune with it.”

Ava looked shocked and horrified, and Liz squeezed her hand until the hybrid looked at her, speaking softly and earnestly. “Hey, you’ve felt its power since then, and you told me the others couldn’t; you’re not like them.” After a moment the blonde nodded, and Liz gave her a flickering smile before looking back over at Leanna, asking coldly. “You were going to tell us about the situation on Antar?”

The Vaneth’s jaw clenched slightly at Liz’s tone, but her tone maintained the same level of deference as she spoke again. “The Queen and Lord Bethadh have remained in hiding, gathering supporters and encouraging rebellion, but Kivar controls the bulk of the armies, and has the backing of the alliance. Until now, the Granilith has refused to take a more active role.” She tilted her head and included all of them in her gaze. “We believe it has been waiting for you.”

Michael felt his own jaw go slack and saw similar shock in the others’ gazes, and in Liz’s, similar anger. “And it couldn’t bother interfering before Tess betrayed us, before Alex died, before we lost Max’s son?” she spat bitterly, glaring fiercely at the tall blonde alien who stared stoically back until Liz spoke again, making her inhale sharply in horror. “Frankly, the Granilith can go to hell for all I care.”

Leanna flinched, glancing briefly upwards as if expecting a crack of lightning or some equally ominous response to Liz’s words. Nothing happened, the room remained silent and tension filled, and Michael chuckled darkly, unable to do anything _but_ agree with the brunette, even if he had been a servant of the being in a past life. Pushing away from the wall, he arched a disparaging eyebrow at the alien woman. “Well, you’ve given us a lot to discuss, but we still don’t trust you, so if you could leave while we talk that’d be great.”

She stiffened, but before she could speak, Liz rose to her feet. Her arms were still crossed over her chest and her eyes burned with dark, cold fire. “Meet us back here at six tomorrow evening; we’ll have more questions.”

Her lips thinned angrily, but Leanna nodded and then spun on her heel and left. The door closed quietly behind her instead of slamming as Michael half-expected, although the thick silence left in her wake was no less tension-filled.

“You know Liz, you didn’t use such foul language when we were dating; was Max a closet potty mouth?” Kyle asked dryly, breaking the weighty silence and earning a sharp look from Isabel and a chuckle from Michael. Liz stared at him for a moment and then started to laugh as she slumped back against the wall, rubbing a hand over her face before shaking her head as she gave Kyle a slightly manic grin.

“No, Kyle, I just didn’t want to blow your innocent little mind.”


	13. Chapter 13

  
_Chapter Twelve ~ The Truth Hurts_

 

_You may shoot me with your words,_  
_You may cut me with your eyes,_  
_You may kill me with your hatefulness,_  
_But still, like air, I’ll rise_  
_– Still I Rise by Maya Angelou_  


“Innocent my ass,” Kyle muttered, leaning back and pouting as everyone else grinned or laughed, even Isabel allowing a chuckle to escape.

“As much as I enjoy watching you being mocked,” Michael said with clear amusement, “I think we have more important things to talk about then your ass.” His tone darkened as he continued speaking and his eyes drifted back to Liz, who flinched slightly before giving him a resigned and self-loathing smile; something he knew to recognize because he owned a mirror, and that looked entirely wrong on her usually beautiful and determined face.

“Like how to fix the mess I made,” she stated softly, her head thudding back against the wall hard enough to make him wince, even though she showed no visible reaction.

“The mess my idiot future brother made,” Isabel refuted firmly, eyes flashing. “You were a sixteen-year-old girl in love; I’m not saying you made the right choice,” she clarified when Michael grunted, “But you do not get to take all the blame. All of us hold a part in this: past, present, and future.”

Ava nodded, still looking a little shaky, and rose to her feet too, slipping her arm through Liz’s. “She’s right; it was our mistakes in the past that led to all of this.”

“And apparently this has all been part of some plan,” Michael added bitterly, raking his hands through his hair as his muscles strained with the tension of not reacting physically to everything they’d learned. The idea that this powerful being had been withholding help for so long, had manipulated events, possibly more than they knew of, made him furious. He wasn’t the type to ask for help, independent to the point of stupidity according to some people, but if there had been any way to prevent Alex’s death, to prevent Tess’s pregnancy and betrayal, he would have had no qualms about accepting assistance, no matter who or what it was from.

Needing to do something active, instead of continuing to brood uselessly over facts he could not change, he walked to the center of the living room and unceremoniously plopped down on the floor, gesturing commandingly to everyone else. “Come on, I want some more answers; let’s see what _my_ past mistakes were.”

Liz sat down next to him first, taking his hand without looking at him, her small, delicate fingers cold and lifeless against his palm. Ava sat on his other side, linking their auras together instantly so that she could walk him through the process, while Isabel and Kyle joined them on the floor, Isabel taking Ava’s other hand and Kyle taking Liz’s.

Isabel’s eyes were dark and penetrating and he closed his own and dove into his power, hating how well she knew him, and completely unwilling to discuss the present, not until they knew more of the past. Kyle’s aura was a dark burnt orange that ‘tasted’ like cinnamon. Isabel’s was a rich, and appropriate, royal blue with a shocking tingle almost as strong as the time he’d brushed against an electric fence. Liz’s was a bright apple green that was warm and welcoming, like a hot shower after a long day.

Feeling them in his head like that, it was intimate and personal on a level he’d never experienced before in this life and the very human part of him absolutely hated it. The instinctive alien part he was learning to tune into found it soothing and right in a way that didn’t make logical sense, and that made him almost grateful for the human dislike of openness. He couldn’t imagine living in a society where that kind of intimacy was common and expected.

Before he could delay the inevitable any longer Ava was in his head, showing him the paths to take to unlock his memories and take them along with him. It was a surprisingly simple process, making him suspicious all over again about what Tess had really been doing in Max’s head all those times. But that was a worry for later and so he grit his teeth and plunged forward, his living room fading away as the abstract concept of Rath suddenly became all too real.

_Rath shot straight up in bed, skin cold and clammy with sweat, his aura flaring wildly in the dark room, as the pain and fear filled images of his dream flashed through his mind before fading away. His heart rate had just started to slow when a sudden searing pain burned into his palm and he bit back an agonized scream, not wanting to wake the House. The pain vanished as quickly as it came, and he uncurled his fingers to see a glowing crimson sigil on his palm, a mark he recognized instantly despite never having seen it in person before._

_An intense surge of elation, shock, confusion, and fear flooded through him; father was never going to believe this._

__

~

_The grotto was immense and stunning and his palm tingled as he felt the power flowing in waves over his skin, through his blood, into his own core of energy. ‘Welcome home, Ardrath.’ A voice whispered in his mind, satisfied and staggering, and his knees went weak as he bowed his head in awe. Lord Bethadh placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and he looked up at the older man, trying to compose his face into a semblance of reverent stoicism._

_“The Àrd-Tidsear can be overwhelming, Rath, but you have no reason to fear – you were chosen rightly and you will always be welcome here.” He tried to smile in response to the Vaneth’s words, but failed, another presence impinging on his awareness before the older man could speak again. It was Lord Bethadh’s daughter, Avaelithe, and her kind, playful words made him feel a little less out of place. In truth, he had never wanted to become Lord of the House of Araide, and while he had never dared to aspire to become one of the enigmatic Vaneth, maybe this life path would suit him more than his last._

~

_His muscles burned and his tunic clung to him, sticky with sweat as he spun the staff in his right hand and darted in low with the knife in his left. He grinned with satisfaction as it sliced a hole in the prince’s vest and made the other boy curse poisonously. Zan twisted, dodging just in time as Rath’s staff whistled past his head, lifting his sword to parry the metal coated wooden pole. A high pitched shriek made both boys grit their teeth as the sword and staff collided. Rath smoothly turned with the motion of their weapons, letting the force of the blow propel him forward as he swept Zan’s legs out from under him and smartly rapped his wrist, the prince’s sword thudding against the pale dirt beneath them._

_Zan glared at him as he cursed again, then laughed, his aura lightening, and lifted his soil-streaked hands in surrender. “You win this time, Rath, but I will take that top spot from you.”_

_Rath’s aura flickered intentionally, expressing clear doubt, and Zan scowled at him even as he accepted the other boy’s hand to pull himself up. “Arrogant Vaneth.”_

_“Cocky Royal Brat,” the older boy replied calmly, dropping Zan’s hand once he was on his feet, and kicking the fallen sword in his direction. “Now pick up your weapon so we can go teach someone even more incompetent how it’s done.”_

_Zan leaned down and scooped up the sword, wiping off the blade with the torn edge of his vest and wincing as he examining the bruise on his wrist. “You know, most of the others are afraid to mark me,” he commented conversationally, lengthening his stride to catch up with the Vaneth-in-training._

_Rath smirked, glancing sidelong at the prince, taking in the sweat and white dust marring the perfect spirals of his bloodline marks, and the clear light in his eyes as he stretched out his arms, checking the balance of his blade. “It is one of the duties of the Vaneth to remind the Royals that they serve the people, not the other way around, no matter how difficult certain egos might make that task.”_

_Zan laughed again, long and loud, his aura brightening with mirth. “You should meet my sister, oh wise one, I have a feeling that the two of you would get along quite well.”_

~

_“Why couldn’t you have been my older brother? Then Ava would have fallen for you instead of that idiot, and our future King would actually care about what being an Addaon means instead of his stupid training rank,” Vilandra ranted, her voice scathing as she paced back and forth on the garden path, oblivious to the beautiful flowers she usually doted on._

 _“Would you truly have been happier, Lonnie? Or would you have come to resent me too for being first born instead of you?” Rath asked pointedly, ignoring the shocked and furious glare she shot him as her aura darkened. “You know I am not fond of your brother either, but we both agreed to give him a chance, for Ava, and nothing can change the fact that he_ is _going to be King, and not the worst one Antar has had.”_

_The streaks marring Vilandra’s aura remained and Rath studied her closer, noting the subtle changes he hadn’t paid attention to during his last and hardest year of training. In three months time the Granilith would judge him worthy to become a Vaneth in truth, or remove the mantle entirely, and every moment of his time was spent studying and training, attending Council sessions, and communing with the Àrd-Tidsear._

_Ava had been busy finalizing wedding plans and preparing for her duties as future Queen, and he had assumed that Vilondra was equally busy and content, as she had recently assumed her official Council seat. Perhaps he should have paid more attention, but his rare free moments had been spent worrying over the problem of the reinstated Lord Kivar, whom he did not trust, but could not explain why, and the friendship that had sprung up between he and the prince._

_The thought of the older man, son of a traitor and entirely too perfect to be true, made him notice the thin cord trailing away from his friend’s aura -- a thin cord that matched the color of Kivar’s aura. “How long have you been seeing Kivar, Lonnie?” he asked sharply, the vague feeling of dread in his gut deepening as the marks on her skin glowed rosily for a moment before she cast him a defiant look._

_“What of it? My father wishes me to marry within the Houses, and while he is of the lowest tier thanks to his father’s actions, he is popular with the people; it would be a sound match.”_

_“And it doesn’t bother you that he’s so friendly with your brother?” he asked dryly, hiding a frown when a faint smile crossed her face before disappearing quickly._

_“It is necessary for him to cultivate alliances; you know not all were in favor of reinstating his house despite the conditions placed on him, and it enables him to share his wisdom with Zan.” Her eyes flickered strangely, intensifying his concern. “He has far more experience in duty and caring for his people than my brother.”_

_Rath felt pressure inside his skull, a warning, but too vague to be helpful. “Just be careful, Lonnie; I was one of those who spoke against his reinstatement, and I don’t trust him.”_

_Her smile was brittle, but the streaks in her aura had faded. “Don’t worry about me, Rath; I know what I’m doing.” Her words did nothing to reassure him, and he could only hope that the warning became less vague – before it was too late._


	14. Chapter 14

  
_Chapter Thirteen ~ Good Intentions_

 

_Do not go gentle into that good night,_  
_Old age should burn and rave at close of day;_  
_Rage, rage against the dying of the light._  
_Though wise men at their end know dark is right._  
_– Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas_  


_Rath slipped down the darkened street away from the crowd of citizens, hood raised to cover the telltale marks on his cheeks and gloves on his hands to conceal the rest. It was the third such gathering he’d attended in the past weeks, and the vague sense of dread he’d been experiencing since before he became a Vaneth and began his first assignment was starting to crystallize. The murmurs of unrest that had plagued the kingdom for years had graduated from whispers to shouts, from conversations in darkened corners to mobs in city squares, and he, like the other Vaneth, feared that violence would soon follow._

_None of the complaints were new, nor were they all in the wrong, or the right, but the undercurrents were different. There was an edge to the words and glances exchanged by the leaders that was new, and it made the back of his neck itch with warning and his fingers seek instinctively for his weapons. For all its apparent randomness and natural progression, there was an organization, a structure, to the growing rebellion, and that meant a guiding hand, a leader. He had his own suspicions on who that leader might be, but suspicions and prejudice, no matter how well honed his instinct was, weren’t enough, and he needed to find evidence of treachery before he could report to the Council._

_It was time to take a more active role. He had remained a passive observer so far, but now he needed to play a new role: that of a participant, a believer in the cause, so that he could work his way into the inner circle of whatever conspiracy was hiding behind the people’s unrest. In their society, deception was difficult and rare, even those with the smallest gift could see auras, and bloodline marks could not be removed, nor concealed easily. But he hadn’t spent nearly two decades in training for nothing, and he could produce or hide any aura reaction, along with knowing how to alter his marks and appearance to assume any station he chose._

_If his suspicions were correct, the leader of this rebellion had similar training, which should have been impossible. However, it wasn’t his duty to determine the how, but the who and why, and he_ would _find the answers he sought._

__

~

_The stone was rough and cold beneath his knees, and only twenty years of training enforced discipline prevented him from showing his distaste at having to bow to another man for the first time in his life – the Vaneth were_ not _subservient by nature. The heavy tread of boots reached his ears, along with the clank of a sword on armor, and he felt a flicker of excitement in his stomach, ruthlessly suppressed from displaying in his aura. Finally, after months of playing the rebel, he was going to meet the man behind it all._

_“This is him, my lord, the one who’s been so helpful in training the recruits.” It was the gravelly voice of the leader’s second in command, Nikolas, who was the highest ranking member of the organization Rath had been in contact with to that point, and a bull of a man, barely shorter than himself with ropy muscles and a menacing face. Nikolas was well trained in street fighting, but lacked formal military education, a fact that Rath had used to worm his way into the inner circle._

_“Well, let’s see this miracle worker then.” Another voice drawled, silky smooth and very familiar, sending a surge of elation and tightly wound anticipation burning through Rath’s veins as he rose to his feet and calmly met the gaze of the man he’d been hunting for over a year. His suspicions were correct, and the eye witness testimony of a Vaneth was enough evidence under current Antarian law to convict, although there had been vague whispers lately that concerned him regarding the public’s opinion of the Granilith and its servants. But, those whispers could be dealt with after Kivar, the new Council darling and Vilandra’s lover, was revealed as a traitor to the crown, just like his father._

_He only hoped that Vilandra forgave him for being right._

__

~

_Cursing viciously under his breath, Rath pressed harder on the makeshift bandage over his ribs, slowing the seepage of blood from the knife wound Nikolas had given him, and darted to the next shadowed corner of the street. He was making his way slowly towards the Palace grounds and the Granilith chamber so that he could present his findings. Damn Nikolas all to hell for being such a paranoid bastard and going through his things, finding the knife stamped with the official Vaneth seal that Rath, damn himself too, had foolishly left unattended._

_A slow and cautious hour later, he finally made it to the Palace grounds and stopped, hiding in the shadow of the gate and frowning as he saw that the outer doors to the Council chamber were closed and barred with guards posted outside, signaling a closed session. He had received no warning of a Council meeting and all Vaneth were notified, undercover or not._

_A coil of unease wrapped around his spine and he slipped his hand into his tunic to grab the knife that had betrayed him earlier that day, sending his power searching outwards and recoiling in shock when he felt the malevolent pulse of energy blocking him from seeing into the Council chamber. Something was horribly wrong. ‘Vaneth! To the Council Chamber!’ He broadcasted silently, before stepping out of the shadows and striding across the courtyard, lifting one eyebrow demandingly at the four guards blocking the door._

_They shifted uncomfortably and glanced at each other before one gathered up the courage to speak. “Sorry, my Lord, we’re not supposed to let anyone else in.”_

_Rath smiled, slow and dangerous, and raised his right hand, palm out, letting his power flicker enough to make the sigil on it glow. “No one has the right to bar me from the Council, and any attempt to do so could be construed as treason against Antar.” The guard blanched, eyes darting nervously as he tried to avoid looking at the knife still held casually in Rath’s left hand, and after another moment of hesitation, gestured for the other guards to unbar the door and bowed jerkily as Rath swept past them._

_The moment he stepped across the threshold he felt the turbulent emotions and power he’d been prevented from sensing before, and his heart seized in his chest as he saw dead bodies surrounded by pools of blood. There were a few surviving Council members huddling in a corner while rebels threatened them at knife point, and worst of all, Kivar dueling an already wounded Zan while Vilandra held a knife to Ava’s throat._

_He was too late to save her from herself, but, gritting his teeth, he swore that he would not be too late to save Ava, or the throne. Hefting the knife in his left hand, he threw it with deadly accuracy at Kivar’s unprotected chest. Vilandra saw his movement and, with wild eyes, threw Ava into the path of the oncoming blade. It slid into the pale flesh of her throat without a sound, blood bubbling as she clutched at it for a moment before collapsing limply to the ground._

_Rath cried out and lunged forward, barely noticing Kivar slicing Zan’s head off when he turned to try and save his fallen wife, frantically trying to heal his first friend, and biting his tongue so hard it filled his mouth with blood when he realized that her spirit was already gone. Spitting a crimson mouthful onto the stone floor, he rose sinuously to his feet, eyes cold and dark and aura crackling with power as Zan’s fallen sword flew to his hand._

_Kivar took a step back and Rath swung, a vicious overhand blow, not aimed at the leader of the rebellion, but at his lover, who had betrayed her own family in cold blood, carrying out sentencing and punishment with one stroke. The stroke proved to be fatal in more than one way. The sword caught in her rib cage and Kivar lunged forward with his own sword before Rath could free it, the blade sliding cleanly into Rath’s heart._

_The traitor grinned triumphantly and Rath released the last of his power in a concussive blast that brought the ceiling of the Council chamber tumbling down, before sinking into endless black, the blood of everyone he loved on his hands._

Michael gasped, heart pounding painfully in his chest as he was wrenched suddenly from the vision of his former self and back to the present. The sound of Isabel retching filled the apartment as he tried to catch his breath, hands cold and clammy with sweat. Blinking to clear his blurred vision he saw Isabel bending over the trash can as Kyle rubbing her back, his face pale, while Liz had reached across the circle to pull a shaking Ava into her lap, carding her fingers soothingly through the blonde’s hair as she met Michael’s gaze. He knew the shock and horror on her face matched his own expression. 

Rising to his feet, Michael strode across the room and rested his hand against the back of Isabel’s neck. He sent a wave of healing energy through her, quietly amazed at his new grasp of his powers, even more honed than they had been under Ava’s tutelage. His sister shuddered and wiped her mouth, but refused to look up, so with a brief glance at Kyle who nodded and took a step back, he pulled her into his arms, hugging her fiercely until she broke down and sobbed, hands tightening convulsively on his shirt. 

“That wasn’t you, Isabel,” he murmured into her hair, wishing for just a second that he’d never opened the door to their past, that they’d remained ignorant if it meant that his family didn’t have to go through this pain. She tried to shake her head and pull away and he just held her tighter, voice gentle but implacable as he continued. “You are incapable of that kind of betrayal.” 

Eventually, her sobs quieted and, after brushing a kiss across her forehead, he handed her back to Kyle, who guided her to the couch and wrapped his arms around her. The other boy was no longer bothering to try and hide the closeness between them as he whispered quietly to her, blue eyes dark with sorrow and determination – Michael knew his sister was in good hands. 

Turning back to the other two girls in his living room, he lowered himself back down beside them. He cautiously met Ava’s shuttered blue gaze, not sure how to handle the surge of affection he felt for her now that he knew just how much he’d cared for her in their past lives. “Are you okay?” 

A tiny smile flickered across her face and she nodded, but didn’t let go of Liz, who was still comfortingly stroking her hair and nibbling thoughtfully on her lip. Michael’s attention sharpened as he noted her expression and wondered what she had seen in the visions that he’d been too overwhelmed to process yet. “Your dream,” the brunette stated quietly when he raised one eyebrow questioningly, and he searched his memory, then rocked back in surprise as he realized the implications of her words. 

His very first memory, the night Rath was marked as a Vaneth, he’d had a vague, disquieting dream that left him pale and shaking and unable to remember the details, just as Liz had been awoken every night for the past few weeks. 

Sighing wearily, he scrubbed a hand across his face, frustrated by the fear and anger and resignation he saw in Liz’s beautiful brown eyes, emotions they’d all felt far too frequently of late, and that he knew would be sticking around for a while to come. Apparently they’d only seen the tip of the iceberg when it came to the meddling of the Granilith, and hell if he knew what to do about it. 


	15. Chapter 15

_Chapter Fourteen ~ Once Upon a Midnight Dreary_

_“Prophet!” said I, “think of evil! – prophet still, if bird or devil!_  
_Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,_  
_Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted –_  
_On this home by horror haunted – tell me truly, I implore._  
_– The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe_

She was burning again, drowning in darkness, in _nothingness_ , everything that made her Liz Parker dwindling away until only a spark remained, a spark that she clung to out of sheer, stubborn fury. She would _not_ give up that easily, not after everything she’d survived, not while there were still people depending on her. An alien sense of satisfaction filled her and then it was over and she was sitting up and gasping, hands twisting together over her chest as her heart pounded frantically against her ribcage, her body trembling with the aftershocks of being so close to death, closer than she’d been since the day she was shot.

When she got her breathing back under control and opened her eyes, her stomach lurched sickly when the four walls of her bedroom didn’t meet her gaze, instead replaced by cold, forbidding stone, gleaming dully with otherworldly light. Her pulse sped up, panic zinging through her veins once more until she fought it down and pushed herself to her feet, shivering slightly in her thin pajamas until she remembered that she had powers and warmed herself with a thought.

How the hell had she gotten _here_?

She knew that she had fallen asleep in her room mere hours before, just feet away from Ava, who was both paranoid and a light sleeper thanks to her lack of a childhood, and who would have noticed someone taking Liz, assuming that someone could actually manage that without waking Liz herself. Besides, she was alone, with only the pervasive energy of the cave itself (a cave she had thought destroyed by Tess’s departure), or rather, the Granilith hiding in the cave, for company. Its power crawled across her skin, uncomfortable and oppressive, nothing like the warm, welcoming feeling from Ava and Rath’s memories.

Something stabbed through her right palm, burning more fiercely than anything she’d felt before, and she cried out, falling back to the ground as she clutched her wrist. Sucking in a painful breath, she stared at the glowing sigil on her hand when the invisible agony stopped, and her whole body shivered, adjusting to the foreign energy that was now a part of her, melding with her aura until the Granilith no longer felt like an enemy. She absolutely hated it.

The Granilith might be responsible for the existence of several people she cared about, but as far as she was concerned that didn't excuse its actions, or rather lack thereof, when it came to everything they had all suffered over the past two years. Not to mention what the people of Antar had gone through, and must still be going through. How dare it interfere _now_ , after all this time? If it thought that she would become its willing servant, and bow down to its every wish and command, it was sadly mistaken.

_‘Peace, child, you are not my servant, nor will I be giving you commands. My only desire is to share knowledge and power. I want to help you.’_

“Help me?” she snapped, voice dripping with bitter disdain, refusing to use such intimate means to communicate with it. “You have got to be kidding me. If you wanted to help, you should have done so years ago, before the queen _you_ reincarnated betrayed her family and murdered my best friend, then fled the planet with an innocent child. Where was your knowledge and power then?”

There was a moment of silence and she felt both vindicated, and even more furious, that it didn’t have an immediate response to her accusations. It still ached every time she thought of Alex, every time she remembered that she would never see him smile again, and no gift of power or knowledge would ever be enough to heal the wounds left by his death.

 _‘I am powerful, yes, and I have access to sources of knowledge that your race has not yet evolved to see, but I am_ not _omnipotent, nor omniscient, and I too have limits on what I am allowed to do. Rath’s mind was closed to me, and none of the other hybrids had auras that complemented mine. You were the only other one I had the potential ability to connect with, and until the former Queen used me to leave this planet, your mind was not open to me either.’_

Liz blinked, her anger receding but not disappearing as her logical mind pushed her emotions aside, focusing on the being’s words and analyzing them for accuracy and believability, and finding, much to her dissatisfaction, that they made sense. Assuming of course that the being wasn’t lying. 

_‘I cannot affect things directly, only through intermediaries, and until this night my only intermediary on the planet was the one you call Leanna, and she is but one person. One person who has had many people to protect, and a very short time to do it in. My vessels are not perfect anymore than I am.’_

Its mental tone was gentle, but implacable, and Liz knew that it was well aware of how poorly she thought of the other Vaneth. A flicker of guilt made her flush slightly as she recalled all too clearly how disrespectfully she’d treated the other woman, blaming her for Alex’s death without a word of gratitude for the enemies she had protected them from. Part of her still did blame her, and the Granilith, for not helping Alex, and probably always would, but no matter how much of a right she had to be angry, she did not have a right to treat another person with that level of disregard.

_‘I called you here tonight, not just to give you the mark, but to give you knowledge of the timeline that you averted, and dangers that still lurk because of it.’_

Liz flinched, jolted out of her thoughts as she felt her own shame rise within her, acidic bile more painful than any burn the Granilith had caused. What dangers could be left after Alex’s death and Tess’s betrayal? She didn’t dare ask how things could get worse, far too weary and afraid to tempt fate with that sort of challenge. “What do you know?” she asked quietly, voice devoid of her previous anger as she settled into that cold, calm place she’d only discovered after Ava began to train them.

Instead of replying in words, the Granilith seized her mind and filled it with images, memories she had never seen, snapshots of a life she had never lived. From them, she learned the reason why Future Max had come to her with such a desperate, illogical plan, learned just how deep a certain blonde’s treachery had run, and just how great, and futile, a sacrifice she’d actually made. When it was done, her face was wet with tears and her throat was tight with the effort it had taken not to scream and curse.

“Will we do better this time?” She couldn’t stop the whispered words from slipping out, desperation wringing them from her tongue as her nails bit into her palm so deeply she knew she’d drawn blood. They’d been so close, so close to victory, no matter how costly, and now that she had seen the scope of what might come, her heart shrank within her at the thought that this time, they might lose for real.

 _‘I believe we can, but we must have hope,’_ it replied, equally solemn. _‘And the King must be dealt with. The damage to his mind is great, and it worsens by the day. Unless he is brought to me and the tampering is removed, he will die, and he will not die alone.’_

Liz shuddered, remembering the madness she’d seen in her ex-boyfriend’s eyes when he confronted her at the Crashdown, and silently prayed that they got to him before his mind snapped, before Tess’s warps killed him just as surely as they’d killed Alex. Only this time, there would be collateral damage as, unlike her best friend, Max would try to fight back, even though he wouldn’t know who he was fighting or why.

“We will bring him here,” she stated grimly, glancing down at the bloody crescents on her palms and healing them with a brief glow of green energy. “There will be no more victims of Tess’s meddling.”

 _‘Good,'_ it replied simply, mental tone taking on the feel of a smile. _‘Now I suggest you return to your home, you will need the rest for the days to come.’_

Liz quirked an eyebrow, settling her hands on her pajama clad hips as she stared around the dark cave. “And how would you suggest I do that, oh wise kidnapper.”

It chuckled mentally, making her frown at its apparent lack of concern for stealing her from her bed in the middle of the night. _‘You have the power now, and the knowledge; just take yourself back.’_

Glaring in the general direction of the strongest glow, she searched her mind, finding the knowledge it spoke of. Fighting irritation at its smugness, she focused instead on just how useful this ability would be, and gave a sarcastic wave goodbye before reaching for her room and pulling herself through time and space.

When she arrived, landing ungracefully with a thump in the middle of her bed, Ava was staring at her with slack-jawed surprise, the phone held to her ear with Michael’s voice echoing tinnily from the speaker, rising in volume as the blonde didn’t reply. Liz grinned at her, feeling a surprising surge of good will despite her deeper knowledge of just how desperate their situation was. “Tell him that I’m fine and we’ll talk in the morning; I need more sleep before explaining everything.”

Ava blinked, and then dutifully repeated her words with a curious smile that faded into a grimace when Michael’s voice only rose in volume once more, a clear denial of Liz’s decision. Ava shrugged and held the phone out. Liz shook her head, rolled her eyes, then wrapped her fingers around Ava’s forearm and reached through time and space once again.

Michael was still growling into the phone when they appeared in his living room, Ava stumbling in shock though Liz managed to keep her feet this time, only swaying slightly as her body processed the disorienting feeling of moving so instantaneously to a new environment. Michael spun, hands raised and glowing with offensive power, then glared as soon as he realized who it was. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Parker. This isn’t the time to be playing games.”

“Games?” Liz asked in a dangerous tone of voice, moving into his personal space and ignoring Ava’s wise decision to take a large step back away from the two of them. “Frankly I thought waking up in a dark cave in the middle of the night with no idea how I got there was more of a terrifying adventure, but then the past two years have messed with my head a little, so maybe that’s your idea of fun.”

Michael blinked, faint surprised concern crossing his face, before vanishing into his usual scowl as he crossed his arms over his chest, refusing to give any ground. “You look fine to me.”

“I don’t know if I’d say that,” Liz replied with a brittle smile, lifting her right hand, palm out, just as Leanna had done days before. He stared, then reached out and wrapped his fingers around her wrist with more gentleness than she expected, cradling her hand in his and examining the mark closely.

“It’s different than Leanna’s,” he murmured, the feel of his calloused fingertips against her skin making Liz shiver, then frown, dismissing the reaction as a result of her decidedly unsettling night.

Before she even had time to wonder at the difference he’d noticed, the answer came to mind, yet another ‘perk’ of her new relationship with the Granilith, a melding of consciousness and knowledge that she still wasn’t comfortable with, and wasn’t sure she ever would be. “That’s because Leanna’s is the mark of one who guards Antar, and mine is the mark of one who guards Earth.”

Michael met her gaze, emotions disturbingly similar to her own flickering in his dark caramel eyes. “So, Parker, tell us all about your _adventures_ , so that we can figure out what the hell we’re supposed to do next.”

Liz knew it was the closest she would get to an apology and managed a smirk, wondering at the part of her that was disappointed when he let go of her hand, then ruthlessly suppressing it as she moved towards the couch. They had bigger worries than her strange physical reactions, and it was probably just sleep deprivation anyways. Or at least, that was the only answer she was willing to consider at the moment, no matter how much the voice in her head might think otherwise.


	16. Chapter 16

  
_Chapter Fifteen ~ Laugh Until You Cry_

 

_I have no time for idle cares._   
_Through gazing on the unquiet sky;_   
_And when an hour with calmer wings,_   
_It’s down upon my spirit flings._   
_– The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe_   


Liz yawned and stretched until her bones cracked, then slipped off her uniform with practiced ease and shimmied into a pair of jeans and a red tank top. Despite not yet sharing what the Granilith had revealed about the future she had changed, something she was still processing herself, Michael had kept her and Ava up for far too long going over every other detail of her conversation with the being. He wanted to know everything she now knew about the Vaneth and their powers, and responsibilities. Added to her full nine hour shift and she wasn’t looking forward to the meeting with Leanna, or the coming confrontation with Max.

The fact that her conscience now required her to treat the other Vaneth with respect was already grating on her nerves. Every time her anger had gotten the better of her that day, the low level tingle in her palm had increased, reminding her of the high stakes, and her new knowledge. “Maturity’s a real bitch,” she muttered to herself, and then nearly jumped out of her skin when Michael’s rich chuckle sounded behind her. 

“I have to say, Parker, I’m quite liking the new you, and your foul mouth.” 

She spun and glared, irritated with herself for letting him sneak up on her, when even before her recent enhancements, she was capable of sensing anyone’s approaching energy. Damn Granilith, filling her already overflowing mind with even more complications to stress over.

_‘Complications you are more than capable of dealing with. I didn’t choose you for your temper, nor your way with words.’_

Liz bit back a highly inappropriate and definitely foul mouthed response, and studiously ignored the amused voice in her mind. “Well I am just thrilled to have your approval, _Guerin_ , my life is now complete; I can die a happy woman.”

His eyes darkened slightly at her flippant tone when discussing the possibility of her death, but the momentary flicker of seriousness disappeared when he rolled them. “The attempts at humor, however, I could do without.”

She smirked. “Don’t lie, Michael, the only reason you don’t laugh is because you can’t admit that I’ve taken your place as the dispenser of sarcasm for our merry little band.”

“You wish, Parker, my title’s more than safe if you’re my only competition,” he retorted dryly, eyes glimmering with humor as they smirked at each other. The brief lighthearted interlude was dispelled when Maria came through the swinging doors to get ready for her shift, erasing Liz and Michael’s smiles as they both went stone faced.

Liz met her best friend’s gaze, not even sure if that title applied anymore, and felt only weariness. “I’ll meet you at your place for the meeting, Michael,” she said quietly, and then disappeared up the stairs, not waiting to process Maria’s expression or possible words. She felt guilty only for leaving Michael alone with her, not for refusing to ignore the biggest thing in her life just because the blonde couldn’t handle it.

She had accepted the inevitability of her involvement in the alien crisis facing her world. There was no turning back now, not even the Granilith could change that much history, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less to realize that she’d lost her two closest friends because of it. What hurt the most was knowing that Maria had walked away, that she did have a choice, or at least thought she did, and was willing to lose Liz by her own decision, after they’d already lost Alex.

It wasn’t that she didn’t understand Maria grieving over Alex, or even blaming, rightfully, the alien abyss for claiming his life. But once her anger had passed, Liz’s response to his loss was to cling even tighter to those she had left, not to walk away. She wouldn’t have thought Maria would make that choice either.

~

Liz grinned at a scowling Michael and a gaping Isabel and Kyle, having decided that she refused to let Maria, or anything else, sour her mood. Max would take care of that soon enough, so she might as well enjoy what little time she had left for relatively good spirits. In order to further that goal, she’d decided to ‘pop’ her and Ava over to Michael’s apartment instead of driving or walking. The reactions she’d received more than justified that decision, and she shared a smirk with Ava before plopping into the recliner next to the couch. “Well that’s just handy.”

Michael grimaced and ignored her, but Kyle took the bait. “What the heck was that? When did you become super Liz?”

“I’m glad you asked, Kyle,” Liz stated, still grinning, her tone just a shade too close to manic. “You see, last night I was kidnapped from my bed by a mysterious alien entity. I woke up in a disturbingly familiar cave, had an interesting telepathic discussion with said entity, and now I’m Earth’s first Vaneth. Isn’t that exciting?”

He blinked, he and Isabel still gaping at her, and she clapped her hands together. “Oh, I almost forgot, I also got this nifty tattoo!” she exclaimed, holding up her right hand and showing them the faintly shimmering mark on her palm. “Can’t wait until my parents notice that one,” she added wryly, then shrugged. “They’ll probably blame it on Max.”

“Think they’ll blame him for your mentally unbalanced state too?” Michael asked dryly, finally deigning to meet her gaze, and Liz laughed with genuine amusement.

“Probably, and it’s not like they’d be wrong,” she responded with a wink, earning herself an amused snort. 

“If you two are done pretending you hate each other,” Ava interrupted, “I think we should clarify things for everyone before Leanna shows up.”

Liz smiled at her sheepishly, and then turned back to Isabel and Kyle, her tone sobering. “So, during that scintillating telepathic conversation, the Granilith revealed that Tess had been tampering with Max for quite a while. Those warps are still in place and they’re slowly driving him mad as his own energy fights against the alien intrusion. That’s why he’s been acting the way he has.”

Isabel looked horrified and Kyle wrapped a comforting arm around her as Liz reached out to take her hand. “We can fix it; we just have to get him to the Granilith.” She grimaced slightly. “It won’t be easy, not as far gone as he is, but with all of us, and Leanna, I know we can do it. We _will_ get Max back.”

The blonde nodded, blinking back tears as her expression firmed, and then there was a knock on the door. Michael answered it and Leanna stepped into the room, eyes going straight to Liz and an unrestrained smile gracing her face for the first time since she had revealed herself to them. “Fàilthe, pithar.”

“Fàilthe,” Liz replied instinctively, the alien word rolling off her tongue with the ease of a native speaker.” 

She felt disoriented, like there was another person inside her head, a person whom Leanna called ‘sister’. “Super Liz indeed,” she muttered under her breath, shaking her head to dispel the strangeness, and then straightened in her chair, meeting Leanna’s bright green gaze with little warmth, but more respect than she’d shown her before. “We need your help; we need to bring Max, Zan, to the Granilith.”

~

Michael fought his need to pace as Liz and Leanna stared silently into each others’ eyes, communing on a level that he couldn’t hear, just feel as a low level hum against his aura. Liz’s vehemence when it came to Max worried him, and he wasn’t completely sure why. He didn’t want to leave Max to melt down, potentially violently, thanks to the manipulations of the little blonde traitor, but the very idea of the Max and Liz saga starting up again exhausted him. An exhaustion he thought Liz shared, until he heard her tone of voice while speaking to Isabel.

Now she and Leanna were searching for Max’s energy signature, or something like that, the blonde’s explanation had been rushed, all of them in an understandable hurry – if Max melted down in public, the consequences could be catastrophic, drawing attention from their human enemies in addition to their not-so-human enemies.

The Vaneths’ hands started to glow (it was still strange to apply that word to Liz, even in his head, though not as strange as seeing her speak Antarian), and after a moment Liz jerked, her breath sucking in sharply and her aura flickering as the red streaks that had begun to fade in recent weeks darkened again. “Gotcha,” she whispered grimly, eyes snapping open, and Michael’s fists clenched, his muscles bunching with tension. He’d always wanted them to act more swiftly in a crisis, less over thinking, but this was a little fast, even for him.

“Liz and I will take point,” Leanna stated, her tone brooking no opposition, and the brunette nodded her agreement. “Isabel and Kyle, you will share your powers with me; Michael and Ava, you will meld with Liz.”

No one spoke, just silently gathered themselves, and Liz grasped Ava’s hand, offering him her other while Isabel and Kyle rose from the couch to take Leanna’s. Michael didn’t hesitate, reaching out physically and metaphysically, heart rate speeding slightly as the electric green warmth of Liz’s energy washed over him on a deeper level than he’d felt before, a jolt of _life_ , blending with his own aura and wrapping intimately around his own energy. 

None of them had gone past superficial touching of the minds and auras for the memory sharing -- not enough to share power, none of them comfortable with that level of trust and openness. Unfortunately, like everything else in their lives, when it came right down to it, they had no choice.

Liz smiled at him faintly, no words needed for him to know that she wasn’t any more thrilled with the situation than he was, or that she did in fact trust him. It was a surprising, but pleasant feeling, the part of him that now remembered Rath completely comfortable with the closeness of their connection, which only made the rest of him even less comfortable with it.

Suddenly the world folded around him, Liz’s energy burning against his skin, and then they were somewhere else. When the world righted itself, he found himself standing in the middle of the road, Liz still clutching his hand, while Max stared at them shocked from inside a hideous blue Chevelle. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel and marks on the road showed where he’d swerved to avoid hitting them.

His eyes darted to Liz, fear lightening them for a moment before they darkened with rage and his face contorted into a snarl as he stepped out of the car, not noticing Leanna, Isabel, and Kyle in the shadows cast by his tail lights. “You can’t stop me, I won’t let you.”


	17. Chapter 17

  
_Chapter Sixteen ~ Cut My Strings_

 

_Ah! Well for us, if even we,_  
_Even for a moment, can get free_  
_Our heart, and have our lips unchained;_  
_For that which seals them hath been deep-ordained!_  
_The Buried Life by Matthew Arnold_

 

Liz could feel Michael’s energy, strong and richer than her own, burning like lava as it melted into her core, completely different from the almost fizzy, refreshing feeling she got from Ava’s. It was both steadying, and unnerving, as she was struck with the sudden urge to throw herself deeper into the bond, to immerse herself in his essence until the two of them were indistinguishable, an intoxicating rush of power and sensation. 

Michael’s large and calloused hand was still wrapped around her own and it squeezed hers with enough force to shake her out of it, before he let go and stepped away so that they would both have their hands free while their auras remained joined.

“Stop you from doing what, Max?” Liz asked carefully, as Ava released her hand as well, the blonde’s energy coiling tightly in preparation. Liz took a cautious step forward with her hands held non-threateningly by her side, knowing, as they all did that he was more likely to listen to her than anyone else, and feeling a strange sense of sorrow and anger that it wasn’t his family he would confide in. Neither emotion was entirely her own, and she had to shove down the resulting disorientation in order to focus on herself and Max. 

“I have to save him,” Max said fiercely, his body trembling and his eyes burning. “There’s a ship. I have to use it, to _save_ him.” His tone was anguished and angry and one of his hands touched his waist where Liz saw, with detached panic, the outline of a gun under his shirt. For a split second she could hear a roaring in her ears, could see the black tunnel that had almost swallowed her whole two years before, could feel the stickiness of the blood on her chest. 

Once again the connection saved her, both Ava and Michael holding the memories at bay long enough for her to reassert control over her instinctual terror.

Taking another slow step forward to keep Max’s attention on her, and away from the three people behind him, she forced herself to smile and somehow managed to keep her voice from shaking with stress. “We can help you save him, Max, if you let us. But not like this. If you do it like this, someone is going to get hurt, and I know you don’t want to hurt anyone, Max.”

His expression had lightened ever so slightly at her first words, but quickly darkened again, his mouth twisting into a snarling grimace as his power suddenly exploded outwards, shoving all of them to the ground with the force of his rage and pain. “Someone might get hurt, Liz?” he spat bitterly, stalking towards where she was sprawled on the hot pavement. “I think someone already got hurt, Liz. You betrayed me! You told me that you didn’t love me anymore! You blamed me for everything that happened! How dare you say you want to help me?!” 

His voice rose in volume with every word and he raised his hands, the air around him visibly shifting with unstable energy. Dark streaks mottled not just his aura, but his skin as he began to funnel his power into his hands, both of them curled towards her in menacing claws.

A sudden blast of energy from the right knocked him into the car so hard it dented and Liz didn’t have to turn her head, not daring to look away from Max, to know that Michael had risen to his feet. Her hands and knees were bleeding from scraping against the pavement and her heart was pounding in fear, but she knew that she had to stop this before it got any further. Michael would never forgive himself if he had to kill Max, and none of them would be able to deal with Leanna if the Vaneth did it.

Max had straightened, spitting blood onto the road and baring his teeth at Michael in a clear challenge. He never noticed Leanna raising her glowing hands, green eyes hard with determination and resignation. 

“Stop!” Liz yelled, pushing her own power into her voice and shoving herself to her feet as everyone winced at the decibel. “The Granilith is still here, Max. I will take you to it, and then you can rescue your son.”

There was hushed silence, the indrawn breath before a scream, or the stillness before a hurricane strikes. Max met her gaze coldly, then glanced at everyone else before holding out his hand with a smirk. “Just you, no one else.”

“No,” Michael grated, but Liz didn’t turn around, just walked towards Max and took his outstretched hand, only pausing to look intently at Leanna before sending her own smirk up at her ex-boyfriend.

“I suggest you don’t let go.” Before he could do more than scowl in puzzlement, Liz twisted the world around them, letting go of his hand the moment they appeared in the dark cave and silently backing away. She shielded herself from his senses, human and otherwise, before he recovered from the disorientation. The curses that spilled out of his mouth disturbed her on many levels, and she almost screamed when large hands closed around her waist from behind.

 _‘Impressive, I didn’t think he knew half those words existed,’_ Michael commented silently, her jangled nerves soothed by the welcome feel of his aura joining with hers again even as her muscles tightened in response to the thread of anger in his mental voice. _‘If you ever again do something that stupid without telling me first, Parker, I will make you regret it, no matter how powerful you are now.’_

 _‘It worked, and you would have done the same damn thing, so shut up and let me talk to the Granilith,’_ Liz snapped, more harshly than she intended, fear and anger and her need for control all clamoring in her head as she fought to shield herself from Max’s searching energy, maintain a distance from Michael’s all too enticing power, and reach out for the one being that could fix this, a being already communing with her fellow Vaneth, who had wisely chosen to ignore the interaction between them. 

His hands tightened their grip on her waist, but he didn’t respond verbally, and she sunk more fully into the always open connection with the Granilith. She was joining with Leanna for the first time as well, and found it disturbingly undisturbing to be so close to the alien woman she still had problems trusting. 

_‘I can only connect to him and heal the damage through one of you,’_ the Granilith stated the moment her mind focused. _‘And while Canaich has more experience, you have a preexisting connection with him that will make it easier for to me to get past his defenses without causing further trauma.’_

Liz flinched, acid roiling in her stomach at the thought of willingly opening that connection, of deepening that connection to the level needed for healing, even if she was just a vessel. It wouldn’t be her power, but it would be her mind, and it would be _their_ memories she would be forced to relive. Taking a deep breath, she forcibly calmed herself. _‘Fine, how are we going to do this?’_

It was decided that Michael would handle physically subduing Max while Leanna dealt with his powers, and Liz would get close enough to form the connection the moment that she could. Once she and the Granilith were in his mind, her ex-boyfriend wouldn’t be able to fight any longer, and the difficult healing could begin. Liz opened her connection to Michael to bring him into the planning, vaguely curious about the Granilith’s silence when it came to contacting the former Vaneth directly, but was too distracted by the current situation to give it more than a moment’s thought.

Ignoring the pull of Michael’s energy was easier than before, her fearful anticipation of what was to come overwhelming every other emotion and sensation. The three of them, plus the Granilith, had joined in total synchronization, their movements, physical and otherwise, concealed from Max, who was still cursing as his energy fluctuated wildly in an attempt to find her or find a way out of the cave. 

Between one breath and the next, Leanna struck, wielding her power with the precision of a scalpel and draining Max’s away from him, grounding it in the Granilith. Michael pulled his sometime-brother’s arms behind his back while he was still in shock, twisting them up into an uncomfortable hold as the darker haired boy struggled futilely against him. Liz hesitated for the barest moment, her heart shriveling in her chest, before stepping forward and grasping his head in her hands, yanking it down until their gazes met. The Granilith surged forward within her mind, linking the three of them together, and she screamed, Max’s anguished yells joining hers in a pained crescendo before she lost all awareness of the physical world.

_“Liz, Liz! You have to look at me. You have to look at me.”_

_“Liz, listen to me. You can’t talk to anyone about this. Not your parents, not Maria. No one. You don’t understand what will happen if you do. Liz, please? Now my life is in your hands.”_

His fear, for her and his family, was ice cold, stabbing through her mind, in painful counterpoint to the burning of his feelings for her, not yet tainted by the ruin of their lives.

_“Liz, it’s not safe. I mean, for you and, and me to…it’s not safe.”_

_“Make sure he deserves your trust.”_

_“Liz, I think that what I’m afraid of isn’t that we try this and it works out really badly. What I’m afraid of is we try it and it works out really well. I’m afraid of everything that I know I would feel. Because I know it’s not meant to be. And somewhere down the line, we’re gonna get hurt. I can live with that. I just couldn’t bear to hurt you.”_

Rage and sorrow and despair were threatening to drown her, his tangled emotions a vicious bombardment without the benefit of her shields.

_“How do you know women so well? Don’t let me stop you. This is fascinating.”_

_“Michael, I’m telling you, there’s something weird about this. It’s like she knows something about me that she shouldn’t.”_

_“It was like…it was like something was controlling me.”_

_“She’s one of us.”_

The memories were no longer just ones they shared, and the feel of Tess’s energy in his mind grated like sand paper, an intrusion and violation that had started much earlier than they realized. 

_“I know what you are, and now, you’re going to tell me everything.”_

_“Huh. You do have feelings. Just like us. Whatever you are, you better tell me the truth for Liz’s sake.”_

_“Max, you do have a destiny. You just heard it. I can’t stand in the way of it.”_

The force of Max’s pain was devastating, the trauma at the hands of Pierce and the FBI immediately compounded by Tess’s further tampering, tampering that had extended to all of them in that cave -- even her. 

_“My life is only in danger if I am with you.”_

_“I haven’t slept since I saw you with Kyle.”_

_“Either way you’re going to die, Max. So why don’t you just make this easy on yourself?”_

_“This is where you belong, Max…up here with the world at your feet. Like a king.”_

The images were coming faster, more disjointed as more and more of his memories and emotions were manipulated, it was hard to tell what she was feeling, or he was feeling, or what Tess had made him feel, and overlaying all of it was the inhuman power of the Granilith, erasing the blocks on his real memories and healing the damaged pathways in his mind.

_“You put your hand over my shoulder and you did your little trick like a robot. You’re a machine, Max. You wouldn’t know the first thing about what it takes to heal me.”_

_“For some reason Tess is the clearest.”_

_“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about! You don’t know anything about Kivar or our world.”_

_“My whole life I’ve wanted to be this person, this normal person. Human. My whole life I’ve been thinking that this alien side of me was this bad thing. This thing that made me a freak. This monster. I realize that I haven’t just been hiding from the government and the law all this time. I’ve been hiding from myself. I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I thought I knew, but I don’t. I’ve lost everyone.”_

_“You were different – you were a king! Now you’re just a boy.”_

_“You kill me, Max, you kill our son.”_

After that, the memories weren’t coherent enough for her to distinguish specific images, just a jumbled mass of pain and confusion and all consuming rage until one last surge of impossibly strong power from the Granilith brought order to the chaos.

Max’s energy finally felt like his again, the vicious red threads of Tess’s power no longer woven through his core, and Liz felt weak with exhaustion, emotionally and physically, every cell in her body crying out in distress. 

_‘L..Liz?’_ His mental voice was tentative and fragile and she shoved down her instinctive urge to sever the connection and block him away before she could feel any more pain, the sensation of his aura melded with hers stinging like salt in her freshly opened wounds.

 _‘It’s okay, Max. Tess did to you what she did to Alex, but it’s better now, you’re going to be okay.’_

He started to sob, broken, heart-wrenching sounds that penetrated the mental plane they’d been trapped in, and she closed her eyes, breaking the connection before her own tears could fall. He’d been right, two years ago, it hadn’t been safe. It _still_ wasn’t safe, and now they’d been shattered into too many pieces to ever be made whole again.


	18. Chapter 18

  
_Chapter Seventeen ~ Life, the Universe, Everything_

 

_I knew they lived and moved_  
_Tricked in disguises, alien to the rest_  
_Of men, and alien to themselves – and yet_  
_The same heart beats in every human breast!_  
_– The Buried Life by Matthew Arnold_  


Liz gently disengaged from Max’s mind and the Granilith, and pulled back into herself with a silent sigh of relief. She was suddenly intimately aware of how depleted her energy was and how unhappy every part of her body was, especially her knees, which she knew were going to be bruised from being pressed against the stone floor of the cave for so long. She could feel goose bumps on her arms from the cold air, but felt flushed and feverish from the intensity of the power she’d been channeling.

Her eyes slid open and she saw Max’s face bare inches from hers, his eyes still tightly shut and his face damp with tears. The sight made her flinch and she quickly looked away, unable to handle dealing with how raw her emotions were after having every protective barrier in her mind invaded by things she’d never wanted to see or feel, not yet, maybe not ever. 

Leanna was standing a few feet away, a distant look on her face that meant she was communing with the Granilith; Michael was closer and staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face. “How, how long?” she croaked out, surprised by how dry and sore her throat was.

“Six hours,” he replied flatly, and she winced, knowing how hard it must have been for him, of all of them, to stand there and not be able to do anything while they tried to fix a member of his _family_. However strained their relationship had become, she knew that Michael still cared for Max, and did not want to see him hurt, and he had never done well with forced inaction. 

She tried to move her legs in preparation for standing up, and would have fallen over if Michael hadn’t caught her. “Thanks,” she muttered, too exhausted to even be embarrassed as he carefully pulled her to her feet and held on until her legs stopped tingling and she could balance on her own. “We should get back; everyone has to be freaking out by now.”

“I contacted Ava a couple times, but all I could tell her was that the two of you were glowing like fireflies. There were some mutters, and convulsions, and a scream or two as well, but I didn’t pass that on,” he drawled, the sarcasm sharp enough to draw blood, and she grimaced.

“It wasn’t a picnic from the inside either.”

His expression softened infinitesimally, or maybe it was just her vision blurring from bone-deep weariness, and he reached out and laid a hand on her arm, a coil of his dark gold energy spooling into her and replenishing her core. She sucked in a sharp breath, the resulting, uncomfortably pleasurable, tingle felt in her body as well as her aura, and fought back an entirely inappropriate blush. “Thank you.”

He nodded, lips curling upwards ever so slightly, before firming again when she sensed motion behind her. She felt her own muscles tightening in resignation and wariness, and fought the urge to turn to look at the boy who had saved and destroyed her life, instead walking past Michael to join Leanna in communing with the Granilith.

She could deal with Max later, after she’d had some sleep, maybe a whole year’s worth.

~

Ava had been frantic, terror and rage threatening to pull her under the way they had when Zan died, the moment she saw Liz disappear with Max. Then Leanna and Michael had vanished after them, leaving her, Isabel, and Kyle, to take Max’s car back to Roswell, a three hour drive with only one communication from Michael, stating that Liz was fine, and was connected to Max while the Granilith tried to heal him.

It had made her choke back something that was either a laugh or a sob. _Fine_? Who was Michael kidding, if Liz had to meld her aura with Max’s on the level needed for healing then she was anything but _fine_. 

But she had heard the tension, the well concealed fear in Michael’s mental tone, and knew, from observing him and Liz interact over the past few weeks, that it was just his way. He had more in common with his original self than the Rath she’d been raised with did, but was even more reserved if possible, and less confident in his own skin. The biting humor though, and the sparse way he doled out is words, made her throat tighten with grief and pleasure in the memories they invoked, sharp reminders of what she’d once had, and what had been denied to her in this life, replaced with fear and shame and pain.

In the end it had been seven hours that she was left to worry and pace and try not to drown in her memories, of this life or the last, before Michael appeared. He was supporting a clearly exhausted Liz who swayed on her feet with the expenditure of energy it had taken to bring them back. Her aura was a pale shadow of itself as Michael guided her to a chair, his face hard and his eyes burning with emotions Ava could only begin to decipher the edges of. 

Before she could take more than a step in their direction, Leanna appeared with her arm around Max, his face pale and drawn and streaked with tears as he blinked in dull surprise at the apartment. His energy curled around him gently and his aura was a clear silver instead of a tangled mass of black and red. Isabel had her arms around him by the time Ava managed another blink, while Kyle hovered between his girlfriend and Liz, not sure who needed him more. 

Ava ignored all of them to cross the room to Liz’s side, kneeling on the carpet next to her and lacing her fingers through the brunette’s as she fed her energy. Michael was doing the same thing and within a few minutes Liz looked a little less like death warmed over, although she would still need sleep and food before she could get back to a normal level.

Kyle stepped closer, catching Liz’s gaze with a look of warm concern, reminding Ava of how long the two had been friends, and how strong that friendship was -- despite their brief romantic history and the interference of the Antarians and the Granilith. It reminded her almost painfully of her childhood with Rath on Antar, and she couldn’t help darting a quick glance at Michael – who was carefully not looking at Max and Isabel’s tearful reunion. Would they ever form that kind of bond? Or anything more than allies tied together because of their individual loyalties to Liz and the Granilith?

Liz squeezed her hand and Ava fought back a blush. She’d momentarily forgotten Liz’s new status, and how much her friend’s sensitivity to the emotions of those around her had increased because of that status. When Liz spoke, however, her words were directed at Kyle. “I’ll be fine, and, once everyone’s rested, we have a lot to talk about.” 

The brunette’s gaze flicked briefly towards Max and Isabel before meeting Kyle’s again with a wan smile. “Really, Kyle, this isn’t like after Alex, I won’t be heading into the deep end again.”

Ava could feel Michael tense at Liz’s words as he dropped his hand from Liz’s shoulder, eyes going blank. Kyle’s smile was wry, only faint edges of pain visible, as he captured Liz’s free hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Good, cause crazy and desperate isn’t a good look on you.”

Liz’s smile gained more life and she raised an eyebrow. “I’d say the same thing about you, but I think your desperate days are over.”

Kyle chuckled and released her hand, running a hand through his hair. “Stalker definitely wasn’t my best role; did I ever apologize for that?”

Liz shook her head, still smiling. “I think we can call it a wash, given that I dragged you and your dad into a vast alien conspiracy and then used you to alter reality without telling you.”

“You ever wonder if our lives are like that Buffy episode, and one day we’ll wake up in a padded room with strait jackets on and find out that this was all a shared hallucination?” Kyle mused.

“Like your puny little brain could ever imagine someone as incredible as me,” Michael interjected flatly, one corner of his mouth curled up in a smirj.

Liz rolled her eyes and looked pleadingly at Ava. “Take me home before I’m smothered by the inevitable testosterone overload?”

Ava laughed and rose to her feet, then helped Liz stand, the brunette’s legs shaking only slightly as she leaned into Ava’s helping arm. “Don’t worry; I’ll keep the children away from you until you’re capable of blasting them to smithereens again.”

Kyle snorted and Michael raised an eyebrow. “Does that make you two our lesbian mothers? Because that would make my thoughts highly inappropriate.”

Liz stared at him for a moment and then started laughing, collapsing against Ava, who shook her head and grinned as the boys gave each other smug smiles at successfully distracting Liz enough that she allowed herself to relax.

“What’s so funny?” It was Max, his voice hesitant as he and Isabel approached them, Isabel’s face glowing beneath the tear streaks. Her eyes were dark with turbulent emotions and she clung to her brother’s arm as if she was afraid to let him go.

“Life, the universe, everything,” Michael replied flippantly, the good humor fading from his face as he studied the other boy. The coolness in his tone made Ava wince as she felt Liz flinch against her. Her double had done this, had destroyed these relationships, and for what? To bear a child for Kivar, the man who murdered them? How could any version of her be capable of such an act?

Liz squeezed her hand, straightening as best she could. “It’s been a long day, for all of us, and I am in desperate need of some sleep. Why don’t we all meet tomorrow?” Her eyes flicked around the circle before meeting Max’s. “Explaining everything will be easier when we’re rested.”

The boy who no longer reminded Ava of Zan, too lost and unsure, looked like he wanted to protest, wanted to stop Liz from ever leaving his sight, and so Ava guided the brunette towards the door, ignoring the bits of conversation that sprung up behind them. Liz, as the first Vaneth on Earth, and as her friend, was more important than anyone else’s ego or need for answers. The complicated group she’d attached herself to was a powder keg just waiting to blow, and Ava didn’t want to have to pick up the pieces of Liz left after the blast, not if she could help keep the girl she wished was her sister, and everyone else, in one piece instead.

It seemed like she might have gotten her wish after all, a family, and one that in some ways was tied together with far stronger bonds than they had ever been on Antar. But their situation was far more precarious, and the lack of knowledge and unwillingness to trust would be their undoing, again, if they didn’t fight to stay together. 

Ava refused to fail once again. Refused to watch those she loved, in any incarnation, die while she watched helplessly. This time _would_ be different. It had to be.


	19. Chapter 19

  
_Chapter Eighteen ~ The Devil You Know_

 

_And that we should not see_   
_The buried stream, and seem to be_   
_Eddying at large in blind uncertainty,_   
_Though driving on with it eternally_   
_– The Buried Life by Matthew Arnold_   


Liz stared into the air, lost in dark and troubled thoughts. Ever since she had become a Vaneth, her dreams had changed. No longer soul tearing and physically torturous nightmares, now she dreamt of the future, or rather of possible futures, and of the past. Some of those dreams were hopeful, most were confusing, and many woke her shaking with all the things that could go wrong, and all the things that _had_ gone wrong.

She frowned, suddenly remembering a glimpse of the past that had shocked her to the core, a disturbing portent of just what the Granilith was capable of, even with all of its limitations. “Asshole,” she muttered out loud, scowling in the general direction of the buried pod chamber, then realized that everyone had turned to look at her.

She grinned, feeling herself teetering on a now familiar edge of questionable sanity as she glanced around at the small group gathered in Michael's apartment. “Oh, not you guys. I was talking to the Granilith.” Leanna, sitting on the floor next to Max, frowned reprovingly at her and Liz rolled her eyes. “I think I'm entitled. I just found out it's the reason I got shot two years ago.”

“What?” Michael asked, a darker expression taking over his already forbidding features as she tilted her head so that she could see him, looming by Isabel's chair. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, it's like this. Apparently you guys were far too obsessed with keeping your life and death secret and it needed me to know about your world, so, it meddled. It seems to be far too fucking fond of meddling if you ask me.”

Leanna sighed in apparent resignation at her continuing disrespect towards the being they were bound to and Michael's eyes bored into hers, thoughts similar to her own swirling in their depths. A strangled noise from Max caught her attention before the connection she could feel the beginnings of could fully form, and she turned her head back towards the boy it still hurt to look at. He was staring at her, his face bloodless and his eyes bright with unshed tears. “You mean it's our fault that you got shot? My fault that everything...” he trailed off and Liz bit back a curse, furious with herself for opening her mouth to begin with.

“No Max, it's not your fault. It's the Granilith's fault for making that decision, Kivar's fault for starting the war to begin with, and the fault of all sorts of other people who have made various decisions in this life and past lives,” she stated wearily, leaning back against the couch cushions and wishing that he was anywhere but here, back in her life. She also wished that she could tell him to get his head out of his ass, because he'd always been far too prone to blaming himself for everything and making everything about him, but she couldn't. He was still too fragile from all of Tess's tampering and the traumatic healing process (which she herself wasn't recovered from.)

She was being hypocritical, and she knew it, but she also hated that suddenly she had to be the sane and in control one again, after having taken over as the emotionally unbalanced member of their little group. Assuming any of them truly qualified for sanity.

It had been a bad idea to have a meeting today, less than two days after they'd taken Max to the Granilith, but their need for answers, and cohesion, was too pressing to ignore, no matter how much they all needed rest.

She'd been planning on telling them about what she'd learned about the future that Max had come from all those months ago, but maybe that information should be reserved for Michael and Ava. After all, the truth wouldn't change anything, and it might just be the straw that broke the camel's back when it came to the fraying thread of hope they were all holding onto.

“I don't think we're going to get anything accomplished today. Why don't we all get some rest and try this again on Saturday; Max, you can join us for training in the desert and we can have a group meeting afterward.”

She could see that Max wanted to protest, but one glance from Isabel silenced him and he nodded hesitantly, nearly all his former confidence missing in the wake of the destruction they had faced in the past two years.

Ava, sitting on the couch next to her, rose to her feet and held out a hand to Liz. Before she could take it, Michael cleared his throat. “I need to talk to you, Parker, about Maria.” Liz blinked, surprised, then narrowed her eyes at him. Maria, right. Well, it was an excuse that most of them would buy, or at least pretend to, so she didn't protest. “Alright. I'll meet you at home, Ava, I think you and I need a spa night.”

“Can I join?” Isabel asked, her words surprising Liz again as she turned her head to stare at the blonde.

“Um, sure. Meet at my place in two hours?” she said, hoping her voice sounded more sure than she felt. And hoping that talking about 'Maria' wouldn't take any longer than that. She really wasn't up for more time in the emotional wringer; even if Michael was one of the more level-headed of the group, dealing with him and his intensity was still stressful.

Isabel nodded, smiling at her and Ava, before gently pushing Max towards the door, Kyle close on her heels. Ava glanced questioningly at her, clearly not buying Michael's reason for talking to her either, but she seemed to find what she was looking for on Liz's face and left with a cautious smile at the man who in another life had been her best friend. Michael managed an almost smile back and then the only person left was Leanna.

“I will see you at the Granilith chamber tomorrow, pithar,” the blonde stated, her blue eyes also regarding Michael with curiosity before heading out the door after receiving an acknowledging nod from Liz.

After the door closed behind the other Vaneth, Michael slumped into the chair Isabel had been using and stared at her. “Talk, Parker – you had a reason for wanting to meet with everyone today.”

Liz grimaced, knowing this couldn't be the only thing he wanted, and not exactly thrilled to be sharing the news with him either. Then again, misery loved company, so maybe knowing he shared her nightmares would help. “We weren't losing.”

He stared quizzically at her, clearly not understanding what she was referring to and she sighed, wrapping her arms around herself unhappily. “When Max came back, we weren't losing the war.”

Michael's eyes widened, but he remained silent, clearly turning that shocking information over in his mind. After a moment he gestured for her to continue, the intensity of his stare, and the mind behind it, almost unnerving.

“You and Isabel had died, but Kyle was still alive, along with many of our allies, and Ava had joined us, completing the foursquare. It was hard, there had been untold destruction, but Earth had a decent shot of winning the war.” Liz could see the question in his eyes, the need to know what had made Max come back if things weren't as hopeless as he'd made it seem, and smiled with bitter amusement.

“It was Tess, again. She'd planted warps in Max as soon as she came to town, and they never went away even after she left. Her leaving had earned her the rejection of Kivar's forces and so she had no allies, had been living in the shadows while we fought for control of Earth and the Granilith.” Liz's smile faded into a grim expression. “And then she came back. The future me didn't know that, neither did Max – the Granilith showed me. She manipulated us into changing things, wanting to change her own future.”

“Why did the Granilith allow you to come back?” Michael asked after several moments of silence, a frown marring the broad line of his forehead.

Liz chuckled, her shoulders shaking slightly. “I don't know, it doesn't share everything. Maybe it thought we could do better this time. Maybe it has less control than it wants us to think.”

Michael nodded slowly. “Do _you_ think we can do better?”

Liz opened her mouth, then closed it again. “I don't know,” she finally said, voice soft. “I have no idea if we can survive the next year, much less win a war.” Meeting his gaze, she shrugged, letting him see some of the hopelessness and frustration that had been growing stronger within her ever since she'd helped heal Max. “I don't even know if I want to.”

There was silence again. They stared at each other, incomprehensible emotions and ideas flowing between them before he abruptly leaned forward and spoke. “You screwed up. You should have come to one of us, to me, when Max came back and maybe things would be different.”

His words struck her like a blow and she flinched back, unable and unwilling to defend herself from the truth of what he was saying.

“But you know that, and it wasn't all your fault – it wasn't even mostly your fault. And Parker?” His eyes bored into hers and she couldn't look away. “Everything else you've done for us outweighs that mistake. I know that you'll never stop blaming yourself for Alex, but you need to let it the fuck go and move on because we _can_ survive this, if we have you, and I for one have no intention of letting anyone kill me just because life isn't fair.”

Liz wasn't sure if she wanted to cry or laugh, but she let his words summon some of the steel that still remained within her and managed an expression that conveyed agreement. “I'll help us survive, but you need to give Max a chance. We're going to need all of us to do this and you haven't spoken to him once since we got him back.” She grimaced. “If I can do it, you should be able to manage to at least pretend to forgive him.”

He let out a painful sounding chuckle, but nodded. “Deal. I'll stop pretending the former King doesn't exist, and you'll stop wishing that you didn't.”

“Making deals with the devil,” Liz muttered, lips quirking in wry amusement as she resigned herself to hoping for the future once again.

“And which one of us is the devil?” Michael asked, his eyes shifting to a lighter shade of caramel as he smirked.

Liz finally let out the harsh laugh that had been bubbling inside of her. “We both are, Michael, we both are.”


	20. Chapter 20

  
_Chapter Nineteen ~ The Ties That Bind_

 

_Here is the deepest secret nobody knows_   
_(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud_   
_and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows_   
_higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)_   
_And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart_   
_I Carry Your Heart With Me by E. E. Cummings_   


Liz made it back to her house an hour before Isabel was due to arrive, mind still whirling from her conversation with Michael and everything that had been said, and everything that had gone unsaid. She walked into her bedroom and flung herself face first onto her bed. Grasping her pillow, she held it to her face and gave a muffled scream, then sighed as she felt the mattress dip down under Ava's weight.

“So, did he kill your puppy, or try to kiss you?”

Liz rolled over and stared at the blonde, eyes wide with confusion. “What?”

The hybrid shrugged. “Michael. Those are my best guesses as to why you're now screaming in frustration instead of looking like you wish you'd never gotten up this morning,” she paused and tapped a finger against her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Unless you're frustrated because he _didn't_ try to kiss you.”

Blinking rapidly, Liz shook her head. “You've gone crazy. Why on Earth would Michael want to kiss me, and why would I want him too?” She frowned. “Besides, I don't even have a puppy.”

Ava laughed and threw a pillow at her. “Fine, live in denial, see if I care.”

Liz huffed, she wasn't in denial. Michael had just broken up with her best friend (assuming that title still applied given their lack of communication lately) and she was dealing with PTSD from _her_ last relationship. That was not a recipe for romance, and just because she occasionally had some R rated dreams about him did not mean anything except that she was a hormonal teenager regularly facing life and death situations, which _was_ a recipe for lust.

“Using that big brain of yours to convince yourself that you didn't stare at Michael's lips for half of our failed meeting?” Ava asked, interrupting Liz's internal monologue and earning herself a glare.

“What, I, shut up,” Liz sputtered, her big brain decidedly silent in regards to a more coherent reply to Ava's ridiculous accusations. She hadn't been staring at Michael's lips – she'd been contemplating their future and chatting with the annoying voice in her head that was definitely too fucking fond of meddling, and his lips had just happened to be in the way of her eyes. Yes. That made sense.

She groaned and buried her head in her hands, flinching when Ava started patting her back. “I told you to shut up.”

“And notice, the lack of words coming from my mouth,” Ava said dryly. Liz shot her an ugly look and she chuckled. “Fine, I'll leave you alone. I don't think he will, but if you want to wallow in that river in Egypt a while longer, that's your choice.”

“Who knew aliens liked bad puns,” Liz muttered spitefully, unable to summon up any more protestations of innocence.

“And who knew you were so stubborn. Oh wait, I did know that,” the other girl teased, then waved away Liz's answering glare. “Now, what the hell is involved in a spa night?”

“Right, a spa night. In which we use foot baths, give ourselves pedicures and manicures, do each other's hair, and basically do everything the long way instead of with a wave of our hands. Oh, and we usually consume lots of sugar too,” Liz responded distractedly, grateful for the change of subject, but pessimistically aware that the topic would be brought up again, probably when she least wanted it to. Ex-boyfriends, ex-best friends, meddling aliens, and annoying hormones – she wished she could take back her promise to Michael about trying to survive.

It was Ava's turn to frown. “And this is fun?”

Liz chuckled, ruthlessly shoving down all other thoughts. “Yes, it's fun. Now come, you deprived alien child you, let's go raid the kitchen for goodies and then we'll get all my girly crap together before Isabel gets here.”

Ava still looked doubtful, but followed her willingly enough as they collected pie and ice cream from the Crashdown's stash of sweets. After they made it back upstairs, Liz dug around under her bathroom sink for the various manicure, pedicure, hair, and makeover kits that she and Maria had put together over the years, determined to have actual, non boy or alien related fun, for the first time in she didn't even know how long.

She was struck by the momentary urge to call Maria and invite her over, try and reclaim the friendship that had once been such an important part of her life. She glanced up to see Ava staring in astonishment as the unnatural rainbow of nail polish colors that had been tumbled onto the bedspread and the urge died a slow and painful death. Maria still wouldn't hold more than the barest of civil conversations with Liz's new roomie, and had not lifted her moratorium on alien talk, which was basically the only kind of talk Liz had anymore.

She would always love Maria, and she would never forget the decade of being her best friend, but their lives were no longer compatible, and it was too painful to continue pretending that they were.

A faint tingle ran up her spine and she smiled, the expression less forced than expected. “Isabel's here; I'll go let her in, you pick out some colors for yourself.”

Ava looked up with a bemused expression on her face. “This is punishment for teasing you about Michael, isn't it?”

Liz fought a real grin and shook her head. “No, of course not. That will come later, when you discover the joys of face masks.”

“And people say aliens are the evil ones,” Ava muttered, staring back down at the various substances and implements covering Liz's bed.

Liz finally allowed the grin to break free and ruffled Ava's hair as she walked by, then dodged a retaliatory slap. She made her way down the stairs and towards the side door, smiling at the fact that even Isabel's knock sounded imperial. “Why hello, Princess, welcome to the humble Crashdown beauty salon,” she stated cheerfully as she opened the door.

Isabel blinked at her, clearly surprised by her greeting, but smiled hesitantly back. “Hey.” She lifted her hand to show the large bag she was carrying. “I brought chocolate and supplies.”

“Perfect! We have pie and ice cream and we were most definitely missing chocolate,” Liz said with another grin, closing the door behind the statuesque blonde. “Ava's upstairs trying to figure out our strange human rituals.”

Isabel laughed, looking faintly surprised at herself. “Who knew that I'd ever get to help explain human activities to someone.”

“Probably the same someone who knew I'd be teleporting and flinging lightning at people,” Liz replied with a dry chuckle. “And when we find that someone, we will bury their body in the desert and never speak of it again.”

Isabel laughed again, no more uncertainty in her gaze, and followed Liz up the stairs. “Now that sounds like some fun, friendly bonding.”

Ava met them at the top of the stairs, holding a bottle of shimmering black nail polish that Liz had picked out during a rebellious week in eighth grade. “So, let's do this thing, before Liz gets kidnapped by any other mysterious alien beings.”

“You mean, besides us?” Isabel teased, eliciting laughs from the other two as they all made their way back into the bedroom. Liz paused in the door way and grinned at the two blondes now arguing over the pile of makeup, feeling her earlier frustration slip away. The alien abyss might have sucked away most of her soul, but at least she had great company on the ride to hell.

~

Ava shaded her eyes from the sun and watched Leanna coach Michael, Liz, Isabel, and Kyle through yet another foursquare exercise. The power flows between them had gained a richness and smoothness that attested to the growing trust between all four of them, and the sight brought a smile to her face. A dark cloud seemed to hover on the edge of her vision, dimming her smile, and she turned to look at Max, standing beside her with a resigned expression on his face.

“She'll never be my Liz again. And the rest of them, how can they ever trust me?” he said softly, his face, so achingly identical to another face she'd loved more than anything, etched with pain.

“They learned to trust me,” Ava responded after a moment, trying to figure out how to phrase what she wanted to say in such a way that the fragile young man next to her might actually absorb it. “And they know that most of your actions were not your fault. You weren't yourself and you've apologized.

She turned to face him more fully, watching the play of emotions over his face and seeing hints of the man who had swept her off her feet in her first life. Those hints hurt and she wondered how Liz could face him, how she'd survived having their minds melded together, given how much more recent her pain was.

He stared at her and she smiled grimly. “But you need to show them that you're not weak. You need to prove, to yourself, that Tess didn't destroy you.” She waved a hand at the other four. “They're strong, and powerful, but we have a lot of enemies, and we will still need you.”

His lip trembled for a moment, anguish twisting his features, before he swallowed and nodded, his expression firming into something resembling determination. “Will you help me? I,” he smiled wanly, “I have a lot to catch up on, and neither Isabel nor Michael are the most patient teachers.”

She chuckled, glad to see that he still had a bit of spirit left after having his mind so thoroughly put through the wringer. “I suppose I could do that.”

She'd promised Liz once that she would never help the boy who had treated her so cruelly, but things had changed. And Max wasn't the only one trying to figure out his place in things. She'd been their adviser on all things alien, but now they had Leanna. She knew they weren't just going to toss her aside; Liz, at least, saw her as family. But she wanted to be able to contribute, and if she and Max could work together, they could add their powers to that of the foursquare, multiplying their potential into something greater.

Ava had watched her family destroy each other in not one, but two lives, and she had no intention of allowing it to happen a third time. If that meant risking pain by once again bonding with the reincarnation of her husband, she would do it.

“Okay, Max, let's get started. I want you to close your eyes, breathe slowly and focus on your energy, but don't try to use it.”


	21. Chapter 21

  
_Chapter Twenty ~ Tension_

 

_Love arrives_  
_and in its train come ecstasies_  
_old memories of pleasure_  
_ancient histories of pain._  
_\- Touched by an Angel by Maya Angelou_  


“Can I get a refill?” One of the customers asked as she hurried past him toward the grill, waving his empty glass in her direction.

Liz nodded with a tight smile. “Just one moment, sir; I'll be right with you.”

He grimaced impatiently, but remained silent, and she took her three plates from Jose and carried them to the corner table. The door jingled again as she made her way to the soda machine to get the grumpy man's refill and she bit back a groan as she heard the high pitched squeal of an excited child.

Could this day get any worse?

The tourist rush was in full swing and Maria was on a road trip with her mother, leaving Liz with very few competent waitresses. Ava had been helping out, but she was scheduled for the evening shift, meaning Liz was basically running the front by herself during the insanity that was lunch at the Crashdown.

And work wasn't her only dilemma. It had been two weeks since Max started training with them and it still hurt every time she felt his energy brush against hers. She wasn't the only one struggling with his presence either. Things were still strained between Max and everyone in the group, with the surprising exception of Ava who had taken him under her wing, a selfless action that earned her more of Liz's respect and admiration. The tiny blonde had been through more than any of them, growing up with that poisonous group she'd once called a family, and had somehow become the strong backbone of their group, helping all of them come together despite her own pain.

Not that she loved everything about the other girl. Ever since Ava had confronted her over Michael, Liz had found it a lot more difficult to ignore her attraction to him, which pissed her off to no end. How could she possibly be thinking about any kind of non-platonic relationship with someone _now_? And with _him_? What was her problem?

“Hey, where's our food?” A grating voice interrupted her reverie and Liz clenched her teeth; right, well, that was one of her problems. Work first, brood later.

Three hours later, after passing the baton to Ava, she stumbled upstairs: tired, greasy, and frustrated by life. Stripping off her uniform, she grabbed a towel and walked into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, she waited until the water was hot enough to almost burn, and then stepped in the spray with a sigh of relief.

Opening her eyes almost half an hour later, she felt clean and sleepy, much of her frustration swirled down the drain with the sweat of her long and excruciating day. Turning off the water, she pulled the towel off the shower bar and lazily scrubbed it over her head to get away the surface moisture before wrapping it around herself and stepping onto the tile. Wandering back into the bedroom, she slowly dried her body and put on the skimpy, comfortable, pajamas Ava had laid out of her. She really did love that girl.

Before she could go back to drying off her hair, her phone rang, making her jump and glare. God damn it, were a few hours of peace and quiet too much to ask for? Pushing the talk button as angrily as she could manage, she held it to her ear and bit out one word: “What?”

“I need to talk to you, Parker.” It was Michael, his voice reawakening all of her earlier confusion and frustration over his existence and her feelings about him and all she could see was red.

“Can't it wait? I'm kind of fucking exhausted,” she ground out, her free hand clenching into a fist.

“Well, if you're too tired to deal with alien stuff, Parker, you might need a different life,” Michael growled in response, sounding equally frustrated.

Instead of replying, Liz closed her eyes and bit her lip against the string of curses that were trying to pour out. Dropping the phone on the bed, she willed herself away, only opening her eyes when she could hear Michael again, swearing at his phone.

“What, Michael, what on earth do you want?” she demanded, angrily brushing drops of water off her forehead from her still soaking wet hair.

He spun around and stared at her for a moment, eyes lingering over her clinging tank top and barely there cotton shorts, before narrowing his eyes and biting out, “Why aren't I a Vaneth? Why are _you_ a Vaneth when the Granilith hasn't spoken to me once in this lifetime.”

She gaped at him, furious at his implications, and suddenly knew the answer to his question without having to even ask the entity she was irrevocably bound to. Stalking forward, she shoved a finger into his chest. “You're not a Vaneth because you haven't asked to be a Vaneth.” She glared up at him, frustration seething in her veins. None of this was her fault and fuck him anyways. “And why is that, Michael? Why has it taken you this long to ask that question? Surely the big bad alien isn't afraid?” she drawled out scathingly.

“It can't be that simple,” he insisted, ignoring her taunts as his caramel eyes burned into her, his energy flaring wildly around him.

“It is. So either accept the responsibility, or shut the fuck up about it. I should be sleeping right now, not dealing with this bullshit.”

“Bullshit, Parker?” he snarled, taking a step forward and forcing her to move back or be run over. “Good to know you lied when you told me you were going to actually try and give a shit about this life, about _our_ lives.”

Liz's mouth fell open. Reaching up, she placed her hands on his broad chest and shoved, channeling her own power and pushing him back several feet. “Fuck you, Michael, fuck you. I care so much about our lives that I force myself not to vomit every time I have to look at Max when we practice, much less share energy. I care so much that I've resisted every urge to run screaming for the hills every time your precious fucking Granilith starts talking in my head!”

They glared at each other, eyes sparking angrily and chests heaving as they caught their breaths. Instead of yelling back, Michael moved faster than even her enhanced brain had time to process and suddenly he was pressing her up against the wall, his body firm against hers in all the right places. He stopped just before his lips touched hers, a silent question. She didn't use words to answer, dragging his head to hers as their lips met and their tongues clashed in a heated, furious dance.

She gripped his shoulders, nails scraping at his skin through his shirt and he wrapped his hands around her hips and pulled her feet off the floor. One of his hands slid down to cup her ass through her flimsy shorts while the other slid up her back, burying itself in her hair and tilting her head back as he trailed his mouth down her throat. He bit down on the curve of her neck and she gasped and arched into him, legs wrapping around his waist as the electric energy of his aura battled with hers.

Her muscles were strung wire tight, but she felt like she was melting under the fire radiating from him, the blood in her veins boiling as their auras suddenly melded together, stronger even than when they'd faced Max. Their combined energies crashed explosively into them, their bodies grinding against each other as he claimed her mouth once more, pouring all of his frustration and anger and need into their connection.

She reciprocated, sinking her teeth into his bottom lip as her own rage and irritation bubbled over, joining with his and forming something different, something new, something powerful.

Instead of two beings, they were now one. Their thoughts were jumbled together, origins impossible to determine. Their emotions pulsed in perfect synchronization, a throbbing heartbeat of rage and hope and love. It wasn’t romantic love—not yet—but a fierce, protective sentiment, well seasoned with lust.

Liz groaned at the intensity of his— _their_ —emotions, her skin shimmering with energy that was a melding of the green of her aura and the gold of his. The power covered both of them, tingling not with destructive potential, but something else entirely. She instinctively manipulated it to stimulate Michael’s erogenous zones and grinned fiercely as he gasped. His mouth ceased its plundering of hers and satisfaction welled within her at gaining the upper hand in the sensual battle they’d started.

He growled, low in his throat, and suddenly that mingled energy was rushing over and into her, stimulating things that had never been stimulated before. Just before she crashed over the edge into oblivion, she latched onto his essence and took him with her, both of them crying out as their shared orgasm rocked them and their minds flew through an endless expanse of stars.

When they returned to themselves, they were slumped on the floor, sticky with sweat. Their bodies were still pressed together, limbs awkwardly entangled, clothes damp. Liz raised her eyes, somehow both exhausted and filled with exhilarating energy, and found Michael staring at her. The gold flecks in his eyes were brighter than normal and his expression looked torn between a frown and a smile.

“You’re an asshole,” she said after a moment, and his face settled into a smirk.

“I know.”

She sighed and then melodramatically snapped her fingers, cleaning their clothes and their bodies. “I did not become a Vaneth so that you could have teleportation aided booty calls.”

He grunted, smirk fading into his usual stoic expression and she reached out to grab his chin, reinforcing their still wide open connection. “Are _you_ going to become a Vaneth?”

He lifted his hand and stroked his thumb down her cheek, then showed her his emblazoned palm. “Apparently it’s an STD,” he said dryly.

She began to laugh and then gently pushed him away from her so that she could stand. When she’d regained her feet, she smirked down at him. “I don’t know how it works for your people, Guerin, but that wasn’t sex.”

His eyes glinted as he opened his mouth to retort and she popped away with a wink. She didn’t go home, instead transporting herself to the Granilith chamber where she knew he would eventually follow. Leaning against the cold stone wall of the cave, she closed her eyes with a slight, troubled smile. She’d temporarily gotten the last word, but Michael was nothing if not stubborn and what they’d started was far from over. Once again, her emotions and thoughtless actions had sent her blindly stumbling down a path she couldn’t see the end of.

 _‘Maybe you enjoy the uncertainty, despite your professed need for control,’_ the voice in her head (and now Michael’s head) mused.

“Shut up,” Liz said tiredly, and then sighed as she felt Michael’s energy coalesce next to her. So much for ever sleeping again.

“Sleep is overrated,” Michael murmured, blatantly using their connection to invade her privacy, and then claimed her mouth in a sizzling, open mouthed kiss.

She groaned and arched into him, hardly unwilling as she felt the intense chemistry between them flare anew. _‘Aren’t you supposed to be chatting with your new life partner?’_ she asked, even as she scraped her nails over the waistband of his jeans, enjoying his hiss of desire.

 _‘It can wait,’_ Michael responded shortly and she laughed into his mouth, then let herself be carried away in the heedless tide of lust only he generated. The Granilith could wait, and who knew, maybe it would enjoy the show.


	22. Chapter 22

  
_Chapter Twenty One ~ Anamnesis_

 

_Hardly had skill to utter one of all_   
_The nameless feelings that course through our breast_   
_But they course on for ever unexpress’d_   
_And long we try in vain to speak and act_   
_\- The Buried Life by Matthew Arnold_   


Max watched Ava step gracefully around another customer as she carried several plates to one of her tables, her blonde curls pulled back into a messy bun and her pink lips curved into a tired, but genuine smile. His heart gave an odd thump and he stared down at his hands. The Granilith had healed him, had rid him of the warps Tess had implanted, but if anything it only made the confusion in his mind greater. He now remembered two lives, this one and his past as Zan, and in this life many of his memories were doubles, what really happened contrasted with the grainy and painful memories of the warps.

His feelings for Liz, his forced feelings for Tess, and Zan’s intense love for Ava were all swirling inside of him, and now a nascent crush on _this_ Ava was building, and he didn’t know what to do about it or how much of it was based on gratitude. He didn’t know how she could even look at him, not after loving and losing a version of him twice, and yet she, of all the group, was the only one who seemed completely comfortable in his presence. Even Isabel, who had welcomed him back into her life with a fierceness tainted by desperation, still watched him warily sometimes, looking for signs of the Max who had bullied and dismissed her under Tess’s influence.

Max winced, more memories of how horribly he’d acted flashing through his mind. He had been such an asshole, to everyone, and knowing he was under the control of someone else didn’t do much to lessen his guilt.

Michael’s face flashed before his mind’s eye, a sarcastic smirk twisting his lips as he mocked Max for brooding and Max chuckled softly, his gaze drawn back to the blonde who had become his teacher, and his friend. Ava wasn't much like Tess or Liz, although he could see similarities between her and the version of her he'd been married to on Antar. She was fiercely protective of Liz, funny, warm, slipped between accents at random moments, and hid wisdom behind her blue eyes that had nothing to do with reincarnation and everything to do with _her_. Max flushed when she looked up and caught him watching her. She smiled at him and then winked, inspiring a deeper blush in Max's cheeks.

She turned away to answer a customer's question and Max looked down at his hands again, this time with a faint smile. It was nice to have a friend again.

Another wisp of memory intruded on his thoughts, another wink, and this time he let the memories consume him.

_Zan grit his teeth behind his perfect smile as his father introduced him to yet another daughter of one of the Council members. He skimmed his aura flirtatiously against hers in the briefest of contacts, his eyes already roving onward as he looked for Rath. The Vaneth in training was a prickly bastard, but at least he was good for quality conversation, and he certainly never simpered or wasted words on false flattery. Instead his gaze stopped on his sister, or rather her companion: the lovely Avaelithe, daughter of Lord Bethadh, and an intelligent enigma. Until she had befriended Lonnie, she had rarely attended court functions, preferring her books and her corner in the Granilith chamber, a place Zan rarely visited. He disliked feeling so small._

_She was beautiful, one of the loveliest Antarians he'd ever seen, and even had her father not been a Vaneth, she would have ranked just below Vilandra, given the House her father had belonged to before being called. And she didn't care. She was known for being a scholar, even outside Bhalekinn and her life revolved around the history of Antar and the Alliance, her father, and her friendships with Lonnie and Rath, two people who weren't exactly fond of Zan._

_He couldn't stop thinking about her. At first talking to her had been largely because he knew it irritated his sister, but lately he sought her out at every function simply because he enjoyed their conversations._

_The woman he was ostensibly flirting with said something complimentary about his physical prowess and Zan murmured something back, meeting her gaze for a moment before looking away again, his eyes unconsciously seeking Ava once more. When he found her, she was looking back, an amused smile tilting her lips, and a brief flash of embarrassment flickered across his aura at being caught so blatantly ignoring his companion. Ava winked and the embarrassment faded into pleasure._

_Turning back to Piral, he gave her an entirely too rushed farewell and then walked away from his father, heading towards the fiercely intelligent woman who’d captured his attention, and his emotions._

When Max blinked away the vestiges of Zan, Ava had slid into the booth across from him and was watching him with curious blue eyes. “What were you remembering?” she asked him, and grinned with a hint of wistfulness when he shot her a startled look. “Your aura looked more like Zan’s for a moment.”

“Oh, um. I was remembering when Zan first realized he wanted to pursue you, her,” Max stammered, flushing again and trying in vain to remember the last time he’d blushed so many times in one evening.

Ava’s smile widened. “I remember that night. I’d always been jealous of Piral, how comfortable she was in formal situations, and there you were, utterly ignoring her to stare at me.”

Max smiled back. “You should never be jealous of anyone,” he told her, aiming for lighthearted and failing as the words came out as seriously as he meant them.

Ava’s eyes widened, and then softened as she reached out to take his hand. “Thank you, Max.”

Max didn’t speak, wasn’t sure he could speak, but squeezed her fingers and let himself enjoy the moment, for the first time in weeks forgetting every reason he had for despair.

~

Michael watched Liz, sitting across from him with their legs entangled, the cave silent except for the barely audible hum of the Granilith which was, for once, leaving them in peace. The being had answered some of his questions, Liz had answered others, but he still felt as if there were so many things he didn’t know about their past, their present, their future, and the girl who had somehow gone from being his best friend’s be all and end all to his, what? Girlfriend? That word didn’t seem to fit somehow.

Partner. That sounded better, more accurate to the dynamics of their relationship. His partner in dealing with the fucked up tangle of their lives.

He still wanted to know why the Granilith had delayed their pods for so long, and had yet to receive an answer from the being once again inhabiting a chunk of his psyche.

“The Granilith was waiting for me,” Liz said softly, staring down at her palm as if mesmerized by the shimmering symbol branded there.

“What?” Michael asked, startled at her sudden words, which seemed to dovetail exactly with his thoughts. He thought he’d closed his thoughts from their connection. “Why?”

“The Granilith’s energy wasn’t compatible with humans at first. It functions almost like a type of radiation,” Liz stated, her voice taking on a lecturing tone although she continued to stare downwards. “Our cells had to be altered to be able to process its energy. It wasn’t until this generation, until mine and Kyle and Alex and Maria’s generation, that the humans in Roswell had been exposed to the Granilith long enough.”

“And how do you, specifically, fit in?” Michael queried, turning her words over in his head and searching for flaws in the reasoning. He still struggled with accepting that the Granilith couldn’t have done more to save Alex, or stop Tess and save all of them, given the copious evidence of its manipulations.

“I was the first person born of the right generation to have the right ‘resonance’ with its energy, along with whatever personality traits and capabilities the Granilith looks for,” Liz answered, a hint of wry bitterness to her tone as she finally looked up and met his gaze, dark emotions staining the delicate lines of her face. “That’s how it was able to manipulate the shooting. Those two men would have argued and their gun would have gone off no matter what anyone did. But the Granilith can see possible futures, and it saw that if I froze instead of ducking like everyone else...”

She trailed off and Michael reached for her hand. “You would get shot and Max would intervene.”

Liz nodded, lacing their fingers together as their energy hummed in satisfaction at the skin-to-skin contact. “Exactly.”

“Why did it need you to know us first? Why couldn’t it just call you?” Michael asked, wanting to know why all the trauma that had resulted from the shooting, an event he knew still haunted Liz’s nightmares, had been so necessary.

“Antarians are born and raised knowing of the Granilith, and the Vaneth. Unless they are called they won’t truly understand, but they can comprehend its existence.” She shrugged, lips quirking into another bitterly amused smile. “If I had been called without preparation, I could have been driven insane.”

“I’m not noticing a whole lot of sanity, despite the preparation,” Michael said dryly after a moment, enjoying her answering chuckle and the banishment of a few shadows from her eyes.

“It’s definitely not a flawless planner,” Liz agreed, shaking her head. “Sometimes I think it’s afraid to admit just how fallible it can be.”

_‘Yes, because being known as a deity who can see and manipulate time makes it so simple to admit to not being able to calculate every possibility._

Michael and Liz stared at each other, both fighting laughter, although Michael could feel the anger still simmering in both of them. “Did we get more sarcastic because of the connection, or did we rub off on it?” Liz mused and Michael chuckled.

“I think that’s a chicken/egg question,” he replied, tugging on her hand until she scooted forward into his lap. "And there are better ways we could be spending our time before we have to deal with everyone else again."

"Oh is there?" she asked pertly, looking up at him and batting her eyelashes.


	23. Chapter 23

  
_Chapter Twenty Two ~ The Indrawn Breath_

 

_As sometimes,_   
_in the gentler months,_   
_the sun will return_   
_before the rain has altogether stopped_   
_\- The Weavers by Linda Gregerson_   


Ava looked away from Max, sitting quietly on a rock beside her, and smiled at Isabel and Kyle’s antics as they chased each other around the small patch of desert they’d claimed as a training area. Ostensibly today was about the six of them training to work together in battle while Leanna was off communing with the Granilith and hopefully getting an update from Antar. Instead, however, it had devolved into something far more relaxed as they let the glorious summer day coax them into temporarily setting aside their stresses and responsibilities.

Even Michael and Liz, by far the most serious and determined of their group, had something like smiles on their faces as they sketched out battle formations in the sand, using rocks and twigs, and tried not to look like they were resisting the urge to maul each other.

Ava snickered, wondering who they thought they were fooling. Even Max, not as in tune with the group dynamics as the others, had picked up on the obvious chemistry between them. And the fact that it hadn’t made him angry, only kind of wistful and amused, had _not_ made her stomach flutter with happiness, nope, not even a little bit. It was only logical, as Liz would say, that she would be glad that nothing would interfere with the happiness her friends had found.

“I need to talk to her,” Max said, interrupting her silent attempts at denial, and Ava turned to look at him, not denying her happiness at the peace reflected in his aura. “And him, but her first,” he added, offering her a shy but confident smile that showed how far he’d come since Tess’s warps had been removed. “Think you could steal Michael away from her for a little bit?”

Ava nodded slowly. It would be nice, if terrifying, to talk to Michael one on one, a rare occurrence. They were closer to being friends than ever before in this life, but she still missed the connection they’d had on Antar, and still hoped that someday they would reach a similar closeness here on Earth. Assuming they all survived whatever was to come. Vague dreams and the creeping sense of dread, products of her miniscule gift of prescience, had made her a little paranoid lately.

“Sure, I can do that. Just,” she paused, staring into his trusting gaze and wondering what warning she should give, or could give, that would encompass all that lay between he and Liz; so much potential for pain and missteps. “Be careful,” she settled on, giving him a small smile of her own.

“I will,” he promised, and then leaned in and kissed her cheek, pulling back with a pleased and daring expression on his face before she could move.

She blinked at him, contemplated setting him on fire, then rose to her feet and walked toward Michael and Liz without a single word. She also refused to let a single millimeter of pink tint her cheeks. Looked like she and Max needed to have a talk of their own later. If only she knew what she wanted to say.

Liz looked up as she approached and smiled at her, dark eyes glinting with amusement. “Look! Another voice of reason, tell Michael that he’s being pigheaded and needs to listen to me.”

“Michael, you’re being pigheaded and need to listen to Liz,” Ava recited dutifully, then winked at Michael and his scowl. “And Liz, you’re being obstinate and should probably listen to Michael too.”

“Hey!” Liz exclaimed, throwing her hands up with false effrontery.

Ava chuckled and shook her head as the two equally stubborn members of her family smirked at each other, challenge and sexual tension filling the air between them with crackling energy. “Before you two consummate right here and ruin your pretty little diagrams, I would like to chat with Michael.”

Liz flushed and Michael’s scowl made a reappearance and Ava laughed at both of them. “Seriously, please, _no_ one is buying it. Now come on, Michael, I need to give you numerous and painful threats in regards to your totally not-secret relationship with my sister.”

Liz’s embarrassed flush turned into a blinding grin and Ava grinned back, that part of her that had lived a life in constant terror of rejection warmed by Liz’s obvious happiness at Ava’s designation for her. They _were_ family, all of them, the first she’d had since she’d died because traitors and dead men didn’t count, and that fact made every second of pain she’d gone through in this life worth it.

Michael scoffed, interrupting her mental tangent, and rose gracefully to his feet. “Fine, let’s go. I even promise to quake in my boots.”

Both girls laughed and Liz shot Ava a wink over Michael’s shoulder before looking back down at the ground while Ava led Michael to a more secluded patch of desert, amusement, joy, and a painful twist of paranoia that it just couldn’t last bubbling inside of her.

“So what was that really about?” Michael asked her with a raised eyebrow once Ava had plopped herself down on a convenient boulder.

Ava smirked and shrugged. “What, you don’t believe that I’ll slowly dissect you if you hurt her?”

Michael waved a dismissive hand. “Of course I believe that; I just don’t think it needs to be said.”

“Perhaps not,” Ava said with clear amusement, then sobered and waved a hand back at Liz, whom Max had now approached. “However, that does need to be said, and couldn’t with you right there.”

Michael followed the motion of her hand and tensed, then clenched his hands into fists and sat down next to her, obviously fighting the urge to go storming back to Liz’s side. “Does it really?” he asked quietly, obscure pain twisting his lips. “Hasn’t he caused her enough damage?”

“I think you mean, hasn’t Tess caused all of you enough damage,” Ava said gently, “Including him.”

Michael shot her a sharp glance, but then nodded, reluctantly. “Yes, that.”

“That damage won’t just go away because we want it to. If any of us are going to survive this, there has to be honesty and trust -- between _everyone_ ” Ava continued, calm and implacable and not letting him look away from her piercing gaze. “We have both seen what happens when those are missing.”

Michael chuckled bitterly, then sighed and scratched at his eyebrow. “I can admit that you’re right, but I refuse to like it.”

She laughed softly and gave into the impulse to reach out and squeeze his hand. “You wouldn’t be you if you did, and that would be a tragedy.”

He stared down at her small hand for a moment long enough to make her want to pull it back, and then moved his other hand so that her’s was clasped between his palms as he looked back up at her. “I’m glad you came back, Ava,” he stated, a thousand unspoken words lingering in the silence that followed.

She didn’t answer in words, just a brief touch of her aura against hers, a gesture so familiar and yet so new that it brought the sting of tears to her eyes.

He returned the gesture and they sat there in silence, watching their family and basking in the unexpected moment of peace.

~

“So, you and Michael huh?” It was Max’s voice, but lighter than she would have expected, and Liz looked up from the symbols she’d been sketching in the red desert dirt to meet his surprisingly calm gaze. “I have to say I didn’t see that coming.”

He still didn’t sound upset, just kind of vaguely amused, and so Liz smiled at him carefully and patted the ground beside her, her stomach muscles tensing as she prepared herself for whatever conversation he intended to have. “I didn’t either, but,” she paused, momentarily lost in a memory of Michael’s face when he returned her journal back before any of them knew the cost of her life, and smiled sadly. “I could have, if I’d bothered to look.”

He nodded slowly, eyes distant as if they were seeing glimpses of memory as well, and then he focused again on her and she felt a sudden sharp sense of déjà vu as she remembered his eyes, back when they were warm and just a little bit guarded, before everything happened, staring at her as she handed him food or traded notes over their lab table. “I missed you,” she said, startling herself and him if his sudden intake of breath was any indication. “Before, before everything, we were friends. And lately...” she trailed off and he smiled gently.

“Lately all I am is a reminder of pain.”

She made a face. She wanted to disagree, wanted to banish the shadows that reappeared in his eyes, and hers, but she couldn’t, so she remained silent. They’d come to far to hide behind lies -- that would only cause further pain, for both of them.

“I’m sorry. I know I’ve said that before, to everyone. But you deserve more apology than most, and I’m sorry that saving me, helping me, caused you more pain,” he said quietly, traces of the shy boy who just happened to be an alien visible in the lines of his face.

She winced, remembering the grating harshness of his mind against hers, but then reached out and lightly touched the back of his hand. “You saved me, at the cost of everything. The least I could do was return the favor.”

He smiled crookedly at her and she smiled back, her muscles relaxing and her heart lightening. For the first time since they’d gotten him back, she felt like they might actually be able to restore the bonds that used to exist between all of them. They might even be able to build them stronger, which would be nothing short of astonishing given all that had been done to tear them apart.

Before she could make a comment to that effect, Leanna appeared in front of her, her eyes wild and her face pale. Her energy flared erratically around her, drawing everyone else close until they stood in a loose circle around the Vaneth, who had yet to speak.

Liz rose to her feet, brushing her hands off on her pants, and stepped closer to the blonde woman. “Canaich?” she asked carefully, using her real name for the first time, her heart seizing in her chest as she wondered what could have put that look of shock on her fellow Vaneth’s face. “What happened?”

Canaich stilled at her voice, her energy calming for a moment as her pale green eyes focused on Liz’s face, something like victory brightening them until they almost glowed. “Kivar is dead.”


	24. Chapter 24

  
_Chapter Twenty Three ~ Losing my Religion_

 

_There is a place where the sidewalk ends_   
_And before the street begins,_   
_And there the grass grows soft and white,_   
_And there the sun burns crimson bright_   
_\- Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein_   


“What? How?”

Liz stared at Canaich, silently echoing Kyle’s questions, her mind racing over possibilities and probabilities and what this really meant. Kivar was dead. Kivar was _dead_.

Did that mean the world wasn’t going to end?

Canaich’s brilliant smile transformed her face into something transcendent, an avatar of righteous justice. “Learning that Kivar didn’t have the Granilith pushed the other leaders of the alliance into withdrawing their support from him. My calling and the evidence of the Granilith’s support for you provided inspiration for the rebellion, and with the alliance’s withdrawal of support, Larek was able to provide weapons and economic assistance.” The blonde laughed, a joyful sound. “Kivar is dead and Queen Righan has taken the throne, ruling as regent for the infant Zan.”

Max flinched and Ava reached out a hand to steady his arm without ever taking her eyes off Canaich. “My father?”

Canaich’s smile softened and Liz was reminded that Ava’s father had been her teacher, as the sole surviving Vaneth. She had a sudden wish that she could meet the man who’d been loved by both Ava and Michael in their past lives.

“He’s fine, hopes to be training another Vaneth soon.”

Ava smiled, strained but happy, then turned her head away, staring out across the desert while the rest of them stood there, speechless.

It was Michael who broke the silence next. “What does this mean for us?”

The smile finally faded from Canaich’s face, replaced with sober respect. “You have a choice to make.” She turned toward Max and Ava. “You could take back the throne, the people would welcome you back and Zan would take his place as your heir.” She tilted her head to include all of them in her gaze. “And Michael, you could join Lord Bethadh. Antar will need Vaneth, especially now.”

“What about me?” Isabel asked, an edge of bitterness lining the resigned amusement in her tone. “Can I resume my Council seat? Or would I be sent to prison for my crimes?”

“Lady Vilandra died for her crimes,” Canaich said firmly, before anyone else could vocalize their protest and Liz smiled. It was getting harder to hate the woman with every second. “If you returned, Isabel, your mother would welcome you with open arms, and so would the court, given enough time.”

“And us?” Kyle asked, carefully not looking at Isabel although their hands remained laced together. “What about those of us who never had lives on Antar?”

Liz spoke before Canaich could, the space between her and Michael feeling dense and impenetrable. “I am sure you would be welcome too Kyle, and your father, if he chose to join you.”

“And you?” Kyle asked, meeting her gaze with knowing blue eyes.

Michael’s gaze was heavy on her face as she replied. “I am Earth’s first Vaneth; I will not abandon that responsibility, or the Granilith, which has chosen to remain physically here.”

Canaich smiled at her with quiet understanding and Liz smiled back. No, she couldn’t hate the other woman anymore. You couldn’t hate someone you understood that well, no matter how much you might wish too.

She took a breath and finally looked at Michael, taking in the still lingering shock on his face and the intensity of emotion in his eyes. “But that shouldn’t affect your choices. If, if you want to go back to Antar, you should. I’m sure they could use people of your strength to rebuild.”

Ava opened her mouth, then closed it, glancing down at the hand she still had on Max’s arm, before shaking her head. “I go where you go, Liz.”

“But, your dad,” Liz said, trying to hold back the warmth Ava’s words had caused.

Ava’s answering words were wistful, but not sad. “We had a life together, a good life. And I am not the Ava he knew. This Ava belongs here, with her new family.”

Liz smiled, reaching out her hand to clasp the other girl’s free one. She’d always thought of Maria as the sister she never had, but Ava had become the sister she _did_ have, and she was glad she wasn’t losing her.

“What about Tess?” It was Max, and his voice was ragged, tired in a way it hadn’t been since they broke him out of the warps. Liz’s smile dropped and she held onto Ava a little tighter. “Is she, is she still alive? Is she in prison?”

“She’s under guard, but still with Zan,” Canaich said, her lips twisted as if she disagreed with that decision. “If you retake the throne, you can do with her as you wish, under the laws of Antar.”

Max laughed, a bitter sound, but didn’t speak again, just stared at his hands, at Ava’s hand on his arm, while Liz fought down the part of her that wanted to demand execution as the only suitable punishment for Alex’s death.

“We shouldn’t make any decisions right now,” Michael said firmly, into the ensuing silence. “We have time, now.” He looked down at her and Liz raised an eyebrow. “I want to talk to the Granilith. About what possible futures it sees now.”

Liz nodded, sensing the undercurrents in his thoughts. The Granilith had never mentioned this possibility, and as far as they knew, Kivar had still been alive in the future that had been averted. They were flying blinder than ever before, and good news now didn’t mean good news in the future. If they had learned any lesson in the past two years, it was that good news now almost always lead to bad news later.

“Why don’t the rest of you go back to my place, order pizza or something; we’ll meet you there,” Michael continued, his tone gruff and his muscles tight beneath his skin. Liz wasn’t the only one who’d forgotten how not to be pessimistic.

Liz didn’t say anything else, just smiled at Ava and Kyle when the both glanced at her as they turned to head toward the cars. Michael, despite having felt more of it than any of them but Ava, dealt least well with uncertainty. They hadn’t known exactly what was coming before, or what they were going to do, but they had known some things. They’d known that Kivar would come for them eventually. They’d known they’d needed to train for battle, either here on Earth, or on Antar.

They’d known who the enemy was. They hadn’t needed to think beyond that. They hadn’t been able to think beyond that.

But now. Now there might be a future, and that was more terrifying than the almost certain lack of a future ever had been.

Canaich caught her gaze, that fierce, brilliant smile tugging her lips up again, and then disappeared with a twist in the fabric of reality. Michael reached over and took her hand, not looking at her face, and took them both away with another twist.

When time and space had resolved themselves around her, Liz was standing in the Granilith cave, Michael’s hand gripping hers tightly, and his eyes boring into hers. “If I want your decision to affect my choice, it will.”

His voice was terse and he turned away before she could respond, eyes closing as his energy melded with the Granilith’s. Liz didn’t know if she wanted to frown, smile, or cry, so she closed her eyes as well and sunk into the well of power they were bonded to. As she did, a long unanswered question sparked in her mind. _‘This is why you delayed the pods. You weren’t just waiting for me, or someone like me. You knew this was a possible future; you wanted to give the rebellion time to succeed on its own.’_

She could feel Michael and Canaich’s startlement as the Grabilith replied. _‘Yes.’_

 _‘Why?’_ Canaich asked, a thread of anger in her voice, the first time Liz had ever seen her doubt the Granilith.‘Why did Antar have to suffer for all these years under Kivar’s rule?’

_‘Antar wasn’t suffering for all that time, not all of it. Kivar didn’t create the dissent that led to his rebellion, he just fanned the flames. And not everyone was unhappy when he took the throne, not on Antar, and not in the Alliance. If the others had returned on schedule, if they had been hatched fully aged with all their memories and come back immediately, there would have been a long and bloody war and the other planets would have been pulled in. That was true of every possible future. They would still be at war, and countless people would have died._

The Granilith sounded weary in a way it hadn’t before, another glimpse of it’s age and the strain that such power brought.

Canaich was silent, her emotions turbulent. Liz wasn’t sure what she felt. She couldn’t imagine war on a galactic scale, no matter how many movies displaying such a thing she’d seen at the yearly Crash festival. All she could imagine was the pain they had experienced -- the loss of Alex, Max’s torture, the pain and regret of changing the future. Some selfish part of her couldn’t help but think that all the horror of that galactic war would have spared her and Maria and Alex and their families all that pain.

She was glad she wasn’t the one with the power to affect all those lives, because she didn’t know if she could handle the constant weighing of who would suffer and who would die.

 _‘Rath, he, I, had a theory. About Kivar, about where he learned the things he knew how to do. The tricks with his aura. But he died, before he could prove it.’_ Michael’s mental voice contained no question, but the Granilith answered it anyway.

_‘You were right. Kivar’s father, Lord Addanc, was called as a Vaneth when he was young. It became clear, a year into his training, that he was not suited to be a Vaneth and he was dismissed back to the House of Corph, still the heir. But he was not content with that, not after feeling my power. He stole training materials and fermented the rebellion that eventually led to his execution and the disbandment of the House of Corph. Until his son, Kivar, whom he had trained himself, was more successful in his plans.’_

Michael scowled while Liz processed that, processed the guilt she could feel from the Granilith for choosing so wrongly.

 _‘I did just fine, after losing the connection. Even after my memories came back.’_ Michael said, helpless anger seething beneath the words at all that had been caused by Lord Addanc’s reactions.

_‘Not all handle the loss so well.’_

~

Maria frowned, wondering who could be knocking on the door. Her mother was out delivering the pies she’d made when they got back from their road trip and her friends... Well, her friends weren’t talking to her anymore and it was entirely her fault.

She knew that. She’d known it even as she pushed them away, but she hadn’t known what else to do. She’d been so lost and angry and sad and Alex wasn’t there to keep her stable and Liz, Liz was different. It wasn’t Liz’s fault, but Maria didn’t know how to talk to her anymore and so she’d just stopped talking. To everyone. And now, now she had no one left and she had no idea how to fix it.

The knocking came again, louder, and she grumbled as she set her (Alex’s) guitar on the couch cushion next to her and rose to her feet. It wasn’t like she could make music anymore anyways, so she shouldn’t be irritated at the interruption.

Despite that little pep talk, she still wrenched open the door with a scowl and an angry greeting on the tip of her tongue. Anger that faded into abject terror as she recognized the two faces leering at her and her world dissolved into pain and blackness.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Roswell muse has not died, my friends, just been dormant for a while, but I swear I will finish this story.
> 
> Also, if you need other good news, google Roswell Reboot and bask in the news articles.

  
_Chapter Twenty Four ~ What Is And What Should Never Be_

 

_And I hold within my hand_  
_Grains of the golden sand—_  
_How few! yet how they creep_  
_Through my fingers to the deep_  
_While I weep—while I weep!_  
_\- A Dream Within A Dream by Edgar Allen Poe_  


Michael hadn’t said anything else about the possibility of returning to Antar since they’d left the Granilith cave. She hadn’t asked, mostly because she wasn’t sure what she wanted to hear. From him or any of the others. It was still hard to believe that Kivar was dead, that peace was even an option. The idea of people she cared about, people she loved, travelling to another planet, well that had so many triggers attached to it that she was refusing to even think about it.

Did she want Michael to stay? Did she want him to stay for _her_? What if they didn’t last, what if the connection they’d forged in the past months couldn’t survive in a world that wasn’t under the threat of war? If he stayed, if he gave up a chance to see the world he’d been searching for his entire life, and they fell apart or he regretted it, she would never forgive herself.

“Stop thinking so hard, we’re supposed to be celebrating,” Kyle said, invading her corner of the living room as he flung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, the lightness of his tone contrasting with the darkness in his blue eyes.

“You know me, this brain never shuts up,” she replied with an equally light voice, nudging him with her hip. “How’s Isabel?”

“She’s Isabel, worried but strong and thinking about her family instead of herself.”

Liz smiled. “Sounds like someone else I know.” He shrugged, lips quirking slightly, and her smile softened. “Have you told your dad?”

Kyle shook his head. “Not sure what to tell him, honestly. Is this good news? Because Canaich is the only one who looks happy, and I don’t know if that’s because she’s missing something or we’ve all forgotten how to relax.”

Liz chuckled, a sharp sound. “I think we’re all missing something, but that might be because I’ve become a paranoid, crazy person this year, so…”

“You’re in good company,” Kyle told her solemnly, a faint twinkle lighting up his eyes as they shared a bittersweet smile tainted with a thousand memories of happier times. Something vibrated between them and Liz jumped.

“Is that your phone, or have your alien powers taken a new and interesting twist?”

Kyle shook his head at her with a mock frown of disapproval as he shifted just far enough away from her to pull his phone out of his pocket. He frowned at the mini-screen before flipping it open and holding it to his ear. “Dad, what’s up?”

Liz’s Granilith enhanced senses heard the answer at the same time he did and her body started to shake. _Maria is missing; there is blood, a lot of blood_. Kyle’s eyes met hers, pupils blown with shock, and then she was gone, bending time and space until she was standing beside the sheriff in Maria’s living room, standing on carpet tacky with blood and breathing in the taint of alien energy.

Not so paranoid after all and she had never hated herself more for not listening to her instincts, for letting Maria push her away. For forgetting that just because someone walked away from the alien abyss, that didn’t mean it was going to let them go without a fight.

The Sheriff stared at her, eyes a little wide, but he shook it off fairly quickly and answered the question she didn’t have the voice to ask. “The neighbors reported screams, by the time I got here she was gone. Amy-” his voice broke slightly before he managed to inject professional steel into it again. “Amy’s out of town, I left her a voicemail. No one saw anything, and we have no idea what kind of vehicle they’re using, if they’re using one.” His lips firmed into a straight line, like he was expecting her to argue with his next statement. “A description of Maria has been released to the media and every law enforcement agency in the state. If anyone sees anything, I’ll get a call.”

Before Liz could decide how she felt about that—relief, because she would take any help they could get to find Maria, or anger at the thought of innocents in danger, or worse, the FBI on their trail again—Michael stepped out of the air next to her, jaw tight with anger and eyes a little wild with fear as he looked her over before taking in the rest of the room.

_‘I told you to never do that again,’_ he growled in her head, the edge of terror beneath the genuine fury keeping her from snapping back something vicious about his own propensity for acting before thinking.

_‘It’s Maria,’_ was all she said in response, and while his face didn’t soften, his hand found hers and squeezed.

“I will keep you informed of things on my end,” the Sheriff said, interrupting their silent communication. “And since you’ve apparently picked up some new tricks, I expect you to keep me informed if and when you learn anything. And I do mean _anything_.”

Liz nodded, an abrupt gesture as she held in her own sharp words, then squeezed Michael’s hand and pulled them both away. She took them to the Granilith chamber, but didn’t commune with it at first. Instead she buried her face in Michael’s chest, her breathing ragged and a headache building behind her burning eyes. Guilt was swamping her, threatening to drag her under with all too detailed visions of what Maria might be going through.

Maria had been the one to walk away, but Liz had let her. Liz could have fought harder to maintain that relationship, could have done more to stay close to her _best friend_. The girl who’d shared her sippy cup with Liz back in preschool, when that asshole Tommy Hoeig threw hers in the sandbox. The girl who’d punched Pam Troy in the face when she’d called Liz names in fifth grade. The girl who’d been Liz’s first kiss when they were thirteen and nervous about doing it wrong. Maria had been there for her through everything and it would never stop hurting that Alex’s death and the alien abyss had driven her away, but she knew Maria was hurting just as much—more probably, since she didn’t have Michael and Ava and Kyle and all their other friends.

Maria had been all alone when they came for her, when they hurt her, and it made Liz want to scream.

Michael’s arms were snug around her and she realized he was surrounding her with his aura, a comforting dark-gold light, filled with his determination and protectiveness and every ounce of feeling he had for her. She blinked back tears, smiling into his shirt. She refused to feel guilty for this, for what she’d found with Michael, and she hoped he felt the same.

Reaching up, she tangled her fingers in the unruly curls at the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss, warm and soft and everything she needed. 

She pulled away, brushing him with her own aura so he could feel the joy and peace she felt with him, and then reached out for the Granilith.

_‘We need to find Maria. I think,’_ she paused, an energy signature that had been present at Maria’s house—unnoticed by her at the time thanks to her overwhelming fear—finally registered. _‘I think it was Rath, and maybe Lonnie._

Michael stiffened beside her and she could feel the sudden anger surging through his part of the connection. _‘Why would they come back now? And why take Maria?’_

_‘Kivar is dead now. He was their ticket out of here, if Lonnie could convince him to take her back. They must have heard, and know the Granilith is here, with us. And Maria’s the only one without powers,’_ she said, not liking the picture her words painted, but pretty sure she was right.

_‘The only vulnerable one,’_ Michael said grimly, hints of his own guilt flavoring his thoughts. _‘Because we left her alone.’_

Liz smiled sadly, unable to combat the self-recrimination in his tone when she felt it herself, and laced their fingers together, squeezing his hand in an attempt to comfort.

_‘I cannot find them through my power, the clones have no connection to me. But you have met them, have felt their energies even if you did not know it at the time. And I can augment your powers, show you how to look for them,’_ The Granilith told them.

Liz and Michael exchanged glances, then nodded their assent before closing their eyes to sink deeper into the connection. It was similar to the trance state used to access the memories of the pod squad’s past life, and Liz felt an unexpected surge of awe as they rose up, out of the cave, their consciousnesses hovering above Roswell. The energy they had seen when Ava first showed them how, the flickers in every bit of life, were spread out below them. It was like a glowing map, overlaying the physical terrain, and after a moment Liz started to recognize things.

She could see her and Michael, like small, incandescent fires in the cave. The Granilith was nearly blinding in its brilliance and she looked away, toward Roswell. Michael’s apartment was the brightest spot in town, Isabel, Kyle, Ava, Max, and Canaich’s energies all glowing with power. She could feel Michael beside her, seeing what she saw, and it was he who spotted the anomalous sparks of power.

_‘There!’_ he said, mental voice harsh with anger and grim determination. _‘The old soap factory.’_

Liz smiled with the same grim determination and followed him back to their bodies. It was long past time for Rath and Lonnie to pay for their crimes, and this time exile wouldn’t be an option.


End file.
